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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed that another Mum has washed my baby's bear? ?

271 replies

drivinmecrazy · 27/05/2017 01:30

As I was putting my DD2 (11yo) to bed this evening I passed her 'Puddin', her beloved bear.
As I did so I put him to my face to inhale him as I have done many many times (sounds strange but it's because he always smells of her and is a warm and familiar object which connects me to her since she was a baby)
But this evening as I 'sniffed ' him he smelt different, very unfamiliar.
Yesterday evening DD2 was at a friends house for a sleepover as they had an inset day today so I strongly suspect that Puddin has been washed.
Now I have no objection to the teddy being washed, but he now smells horrid and unfamiliar.
DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.
But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.
Sounds very OTT but I'm a little put out and annoyed. He had only been washed a week ago so was not dirty. Yet now he reeks (because she has obviously used a very strongly scented detergent ) of an unfamiliar smell.
AIBU to be annoyed, because I really am feeling cross!!!

OP posts:
category12 · 29/05/2017 13:00

It might have been a bit of a boo-boo on her part, but I'm fozzy about why it matters so much to you.

gemma19846 · 29/05/2017 13:32

Wow so many things going on in the world and your annoyed about washing a teddy bear. Also shes 11 not 3 she might want to start not taking bear to sleep overs before she starts getting picked on at high school for it

FuckYouLinda · 29/05/2017 13:49

Your daughter is being cagey because she had a lovely time and you freaking out over her teddy getting washed will likely mean you'll never let her go to that house again.

Poor girl.

TrinityTaylor · 29/05/2017 13:55

You sound VERY odd

Anothernewnn · 29/05/2017 14:25

Stop hating on the bear ffs!

Edsheeranalbumparty · 29/05/2017 14:30

DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.

So you are acknowledging that your 11 year old daughter is anxiously having to be economical with the truth to spare her mother's feelings about a fucking teddy bear? And you are ok with putting that on her?

Weird.

gotthemoononastick · 29/05/2017 14:35

ok,I will bite as well:
If 'Puddin' is a mohair artist bear he would be truly F....d after his sojurn in a washing machine. Maybe this is the issue?

Screwinthetuna · 29/05/2017 14:40

I was expecting to read that your baby had died and this was a memory bear or something awful. Then after starting to read, I think it must be because it's never, ever been washed and has a little stain from your holiday in Greece when she was 4, some of your deceased nan's lipstick lipstick on it, that kind of thing.
It was washed a week ago. Your child doesn't even care. If you don't like the smell of her washing detergent, wash it again. Odd...

SumThucker · 29/05/2017 14:45

It is odd. If your daughter had been 4 and it had never been washed I could understand, however given the fact you wash it yourself it's bizarre you're upset by it.

noitsnotme · 29/05/2017 14:49

Maybe your DD wet the bed and Puddin' took the hit?

My DS12 has the scabbiest pink t-shirt of mine that he still takes to bed. There's actually more hole than material now. "She's" not been washed in god knows how long as he likes the smell, so thanks, I'll do that on the sly tonight when he's at his dads (it doesn't get taken out the house anymore. Maybe you should put a stop to that if you can't bear the consequences Grin)

But YABU, either something happened and it needed washed, or the other mum just thought it was minging and needed washed. No harm done to your DD. If you stop making a fuss, that is.

Angelreid14 · 29/05/2017 16:44

😩

daffodil10 · 29/05/2017 18:14

Interesting that op has never replied ! 🤔

Notevenwensleydale · 29/05/2017 20:16

Some really nasty responses on here, wow. Sorry you've had such a hard time OP. I don't think it's worth getting annoyed about, you can just wash it yourself. Although I do understand you feel sentimental about this and I personally don't think there's anything wrong with feeling attached to your daughters bear- the bear is sentimental to your daughter, and therefore to you too. I get it.
It never ceases to amazes me how some Mumsnetters, particularly on AIBU take the OP and run away with it making a million assumptions about your whole life and personality and absolutely roast the OP for it- I too have been on the receiving end in the past with a different name. Flowers

I'm not surprised OP hasn't been back.

daisychainagain · 29/05/2017 20:48

I'm astounded at some of the comments the op has had. So what if she's attached to something of her daughters. Calling her weird and questioning why she puts her daughter to bed is just nasty.

There's enough nastiness in the world without adding to it.

Honeypot1 · 29/05/2017 21:00

I hope op is ok. 💐

YABU but don't deserve this bashing.

Original poster
drivinmecrazy · 01/06/2017 00:05

I have learnt my lesson not to post in AIBU when I know as I type in the early hours of the morning that I ABVU.
Quick update though.
Despite the assumptions made, the offending Puddin washer is a good friend and the matter was resolved on Sunday after many refreshments.
There was no mystery, friend washes her DD bear each Thursday because she had a dream when she was a small child that her own bear would be taken on a Friday if he smelt bad. As a result she washes kids bears on a Thursday
Oh the feckin irony!!!
She obviously thought I would not even notice.
I've no idea why my DD was a little cagey, certainly not because she feels unable to talk to me. I think maybe she was just a little confused of both the action of her friends Mum and my reaction to the smell.
I am proud to say that I still put DD2 to bed each night with a kiss, cuddle and chat.
I will continue to do that until she wants otherwise.
I did say earlier that I have an older DD so I know these things don't last for ever, but as long as they want or need me there I shall be.
As for comments implying that I obviously don't have any compassion for recent events because my head is full of such trivia, really you don't want to know the horrors that fill my head most nights when I try to sleep. Worrying about Puddin's smell is a very welcome relief!!

OP posts:
TheweewitchRoz · 01/06/2017 00:18

Glad it's sorted Op.

Pallisers · 01/06/2017 00:27

Glad it is all sorted to your satisfaction.

You didn't tell us that bear-washer was a good friend. She was rando, mother of friend of your dd's. If you had, we'd probably all have said "why don't you just ask her"? Which you did and it was all fine. drama over.

But of course now I am perplexed at a grown woman who feels the need to wash every bear in the house every thursday night as a result of one dream when a child. Absolutely bizarre. Didn't you kind of look at her when she said that and say "seriously you wash every bear in the house every Thursday night??? Have you no curiosity?

Deidre21 · 02/06/2017 06:42

Why should an object remind you or give you familiarity of your daughter? Hugging her each day since she was born would be much more normal and appropriate, and I'm sure smell better than a teddy/doll/inanimate object.

Deidre21 · 02/06/2017 06:45

And there isn't anything wrong with putting your child to bed as long as they want you to.

SoupDragon · 02/06/2017 07:24

Why should an object remind you or give you familiarity of your daughter?

Why shouldn't it?

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