AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed that another Mum has washed my baby's bear? ?

[drivinmecrazy]

As I was putting my DD2 (11yo) to bed this evening I passed her 'Puddin', her beloved bear.
As I did so I put him to my face to inhale him as I have done many many times (sounds strange but it's because he always smells of her and is a warm and familiar object which connects me to her since she was a baby)
But this evening as I 'sniffed ' him he smelt different, very unfamiliar.
Yesterday evening DD2 was at a friends house for a sleepover as they had an inset day today so I strongly suspect that Puddin has been washed.
Now I have no objection to the teddy being washed, but he now smells horrid and unfamiliar.
DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.
But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.
Sounds very OTT but I'm a little put out and annoyed. He had only been washed a week ago so was not dirty. Yet now he reeks (because she has obviously used a very strongly scented detergent ) of an unfamiliar smell.
AIBU to be annoyed, because I really am feeling cross!!!

feelingblue "my husbellend totally gets this, he says YANBU."

Your what?

Husbellend??? Blue does you husband happen to be a bell-end? 😂
Ilove you've really made me chuckle!

I have no problem with the putting to bed aspect. I do think it is ludicrous to be even vaguely bothered about whether someone has washed a bear or not. And you must be bothered a lot if you need to post on here.

Honestly you need to think about why your daughter feels the need to be cagey over a washed bear.

Term of endearment that he calls himself. He is awesome but also a bellend. We thought it was a sensible name

Feelingblue 😂

I like threads like this on MN because they make me feel like a normal, sane, reasonable mother

Me too

Half of me is really embarrassed for you and the other half is very amused by the hysteria over an 11yr olds teddy.

Imagine if the sleepover mum reads this, now that would be a mortifying situation to post about.

"my husbellend totally gets this, he says YANBU."

Crying with laughter at this typo

😂😂😂 back at'cha Dear

but my husbellend totally gets this, he says YANBU

Wtf?

I'm stunned an 11 year old would take a teddy out if the house- at home anything goes

Is this a joke

Get a grip, your child is 11 not 1.

Sounds like you're the one miffed not your child. YABU - get over it .

I like threads like this on MN because they make me feel like a normal, sane, reasonable mother

Yes, oh my God, yes.

22 people lost their lives in Manchester any one of those relatives would find your question difficult to understand

And children have been dying in Syria for years but the Mumsnet archives are full of mundane threads from the same time period. Tragedies don't stop daily life and daily upsets from happening.

That said, OP, if this is for real then you are being daft. Yes, smell is evocative, and yes I do actually believe in keeping the odd baby ritual such as bedtime going for as long as kids want it - provided it is what they want and you're not pushing it for your own benefit. But for heaven's sake. No sleepover host would bother washing a bear that hadn't got atrociously mucky during said sleepover, so being annoyed with the other mum is ridiculous. And if you think your DD might really be trying to spare your feelings about the smell of her teddy, then you need to suck up your feelings a whole lot more because you are making your children walk on eggshells around you.

YABVVVU to give this any thought other than 'Oh! Teddy smells like he has been washed. He must have got dirty. What a kind person to wash my daughter's bear for her'.

You are WAY over thinking this, and have absolutely no reason at all to feel so hostile to this other mother. Frankly, it sounds a a bit nutty....

But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.

Totally fair enough. I wouldn't either.

But you're missing is that "prior arrangement" was made. With the actual owner of the teddy- your daughter.

The ted is hers. Not yours. If a visiting child on a sleepover had a teddy and that teddy was involved in a spillage, I would definitely ask permission to wash it. Permission of the child. Old enough to go on a sleepover is old enough to have her wishes about her toy respected.

Stop being so controlling, and have some boundaries. Your daughter's soft toy is not yours.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I'd be furious. But I would keep my feelings to myself. Why didn't anyone tell you it had been washed? If I had washed anything of anyone's I would let them know. May sound silly but as a mother it feels like my territory.

"prior arrangement" was made. With the actual owner of the teddy- your daughter.

Bloody good point!

Good grief. Just wash it again.

BusterGonad, there is no call to be wiping an eight year old's bottom unless he has a disability. It's sheer selfishness to infantilise a capable child.