AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed that another Mum has washed my baby's bear? ?

[drivinmecrazy]

As I was putting my DD2 (11yo) to bed this evening I passed her 'Puddin', her beloved bear.
As I did so I put him to my face to inhale him as I have done many many times (sounds strange but it's because he always smells of her and is a warm and familiar object which connects me to her since she was a baby)
But this evening as I 'sniffed ' him he smelt different, very unfamiliar.
Yesterday evening DD2 was at a friends house for a sleepover as they had an inset day today so I strongly suspect that Puddin has been washed.
Now I have no objection to the teddy being washed, but he now smells horrid and unfamiliar.
DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.
But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.
Sounds very OTT but I'm a little put out and annoyed. He had only been washed a week ago so was not dirty. Yet now he reeks (because she has obviously used a very strongly scented detergent ) of an unfamiliar smell.
AIBU to be annoyed, because I really am feeling cross!!!

You need to deal with your issues around your DD growing up. This isn't a healthy mother/daughter relationship

I know childhood teddies can be great, I still have my battered old thing but for goodness sake you are overreacting. Of course the mum would not tell you she washed it, your dd is no longer a baby, she is 11! and is old enough to say this girls mum washed it because no doubt something was spilled on it.

Just stick it in the wash and get over it.

I think you're a little mortified because the mum may have thought it was minging and washed it.

Wow, well this is all a bit 'Carrie's mother', isn't it?

Why are so ott about the smell of this bear
Wash it and then it'll smell like your stuff anyway?

I thought this was going to be about someone washing a toddlers teddy and now toddler won't sleep properly because the toy smells different (my DS is like this if I wash his dog) but you're cheesed off because someone washed your 11yos teddy

There are no words ...

Very weird.

You're not unreasonable to feel the way you feel - it's your reaction and it is what it is.

But you're being totally unreasonable to expect another parent to know that you would freak out over something so completely random.

Essentially - you're deeply attached to your DC's bedtime pal.

Friend's mother is not to know that. Right?

I mean, come on.

Here ---->

"on borrowed time"
"A blessing"
Why not just enjoy the fact your DD is growing up, and becoming independent?
I don't understand people who don't want their children to grow up.

Maybe if it reeks of trainers it hasn't been washed at all and your daughter aware of your creepy attachment to her toys isn't telling you what really happened?

I thought this was going to be about a baby who couldn't sleep without a certain scented toy not an 11 year old, not far off high school with an overly precious mother. She's not a little girl, she's a pre teen, this is utterly ridiculous.

Having a bear that reeks of trainers is disgusting OP. Wash it more often!

Jesus. YABU. She's not a baby, you're incredibly weird and "bed ted"... Grow the fuck up.

I could understand if the bear had never been washed but since he'd been washed the week before he'll presumably be fine being washed again by OP now? So where is the problem?????????????????

This is a very strange thread and OP you sound very odd despite flashes of sanity in between.

As my dear teenage son would say (if I weren't listening, as obviously I don't approve of swearing)

'You're fuckin' weird OP! ' And then eyes would be rolled.

I hope this thread is a wind-up, because, yeah, you are foooooo weird.

Fenella

I first read this and thought someone washed your DD's hair!

Just wash the bear again in scent-fee detergent and then leave it in the bed for a bit. I get you, smells are evocative and I really hate fabric softeners. But don't stress it. You could also dry it on the line in the sun and that will take some of the smell out.

As for the soft-toy-washing sleepover mother. She has too much time on her hands.

I am shocked that anyone could actually consider this to be a noteworthy problem. I consider myself to be very fortunate but even I have bigger problems than this.

"Baby"? You need to read through all of this again and again. You've referred to an 11yo as a baby. I know she's YOUR baby, but do you really refer to her as that when talking to strangers?! You can wash the teddy back to your own laundry smell if it's that important. I'm sure the other mum had enough to do without washing a teddy, there must have been a reason. The fact that your daughter is trying to "spare your feelings" in regards to a teddy bear, is really weird and unfair on her. She must be aware of the fact that you enjoy infantilising her to the point where you'd be upset if her teddy is a different smell. Everyone loves and has attachment to their DC, but sniffing their bear every night and calling them a baby is unfair on them at 11. They need to be given the tools to start going in the direction of being independent, and thinking from themselves, not worrying about their mother's emotional state, and sparing their feelings.