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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel guilty about this?

187 replies

Ginmakesitallok · 25/05/2017 18:19

Was hit by another car today going into a car park - after 2 barriers lanes merge into one, other driver should have given way, didn't and went into my side. Not too much damage, but could be costly respray, dent needs knocked out. Totally his fault. 18 year old driver, only had car a couple of weeks, insurance extortionate etc etc. His mum called me asked me not to go through insurance - I said I'd get a quote for damage, but I'd also tell my insurer . She asked me not to - it'll put his insurance through the roof, he has a high excess.

But - this has happened before (not the same accident obviously )and I've never gone through insurance, and always ended up with a shite repair job..

If I go through my insurance they will pick my car up, give me a courtesy car, get car fixed properly and deliver it back.

How do I know they will cough up? ? I've let my insurance know - but said I don't know if I want to make a claim.

Life would be easier for me to go via insurance, that's what I pay it for. Why do I feel so guilty???

OP posts:
ofudginghell · 29/05/2017 13:44

This annoys me.
He's old enough to be driving and in charge of a piece of machinery yet has a bump and gets mum to sort it Hmm
She only knows what he's told her so her word to insurance means nothing.

If the damage to your car is on the back side it shows you were already further forward into the merge area than he was therefore he should have stopped and waited Hmm
Even if someone is in the wrong place it doesn't mean you can just drive into them and then say it was their fault Confused
I say go with insurance and have no other communication with the mum or son

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 29/05/2017 13:48

It annoys me too! I'm restraining myself from texting them again!

OP posts:
TheDiamondMumcrafter · 29/05/2017 14:07

Definitely do not enter into anymore text conversation. Let the insurers deal now.

milliemolliemou · 29/05/2017 14:11

Parking. With sandwich and a good book until OP delivers the finale. Also agree with PPs that the lad needs to learn a lesson - what if he'd ignored similar signage at a faster speed eg motorway?

ShowMePotatoSalad · 29/05/2017 14:13

Don't feel guilty - if his insurance will go through the roof it will be for a reason. His mum's trying to be over protective but he needs to learn and have some consequences when things happen. Go through the insurance.

nina2b · 29/05/2017 14:54

Insurance. The woman had a nerve to phone you.

BillyButtfuck · 29/05/2017 16:25

I'd send copies of any text messages from them offering to pay / find a garage / asking for quotes as proof they accepted liability first.

SheSaidHeSaid · 29/05/2017 16:48

Block them and don't make any more contact. But make sure you save any earlier messages which show liability as they'll be added evidence.

Don't worry about him trying to worm his way out of it, I had someone try to do that to me but the location of the damage on my car as well as road markings showed the woman to clearly be in the wrong. The same will happen here no doubt.

Blossomdeary · 29/05/2017 16:53

Go through the insurance. I have had a similar experience recently - young lad racing down a country lane too fast to stop. He is gutted as his insurance premium will go through the roof. I just feel that this is a good thing - it will take him off the road till he can afford the premium; and it will drive home a hard lesson that speeding has consequences. Sounds harsh I know, but he is not safe on the road at the moment and this may save someone else's life.

Therealslimshady1 · 29/05/2017 17:04

Block her number, and don't try to be "nice" again to horrid people!

Block.block block, do not contact them again.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 29/05/2017 17:20

Have sent pics and screen shots to insurance Co. I think he must have totally misunderstood the need to give way - or didn't know there were 2 lanes into the car park. Either way - still his fault!

I won't contact them directly again.

OP posts:
Justdontgetitatall · 29/05/2017 18:33

OP you were joining HIS lane! Yes he should have seen you but you should also have been looking and obeyed the filtering rules. You are at fault.

Justdontgetitatall · 29/05/2017 18:33

OP you were joining HIS lane! Yes he should have seen you but you should also have been looking and obeyed the filtering rules. You are at fault.

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2017 18:35

Did you see the give way line on the diagram?

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2017 18:46

Oh it's the same poster. Please respond to my posts, I don't understand why you cannot see that line!

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 29/05/2017 18:51

I wasn't joining his lane. He was joining mine. There are give way marks on his lane, there are signs saying give way to traffic on right.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2017 18:52

Suspect this poster will vanish for another three or four pages...

Trb17 · 29/05/2017 18:52

@Justdontgetitatall you can see that he had to give way to the OP and that OP had right of way can't you? You have looked at the diagram haven't you?

Trb17 · 29/05/2017 18:53

@StealthPolarBear I agree

EZA15 · 29/05/2017 19:30

Just don't get it at all is probably the mum and genuinely believes her brilliant driver son had right of way!

SheSaidHeSaid · 29/05/2017 19:37

justdontgetit your username is very apt.

You clearly haven't read the whole thread or diagram.

Groovee · 29/05/2017 19:55

Is justdontgetit the boy's mother?

SaS2014 · 29/05/2017 20:05

yeah i'd no way trust that they will pay, or if they do no guarantee it will be done very well. i'd definitely go through insurance and claim properly! he was in the wrong, no reason he should not have to pay!

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 29/05/2017 20:26

Not sure how well this will show up - the accident scene! (Without cars...)

To feel guilty about this?
OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2017 20:28

Only one person doesn't get it gin :) I wouldnt bother

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