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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel guilty about this?

187 replies

Ginmakesitallok · 25/05/2017 18:19

Was hit by another car today going into a car park - after 2 barriers lanes merge into one, other driver should have given way, didn't and went into my side. Not too much damage, but could be costly respray, dent needs knocked out. Totally his fault. 18 year old driver, only had car a couple of weeks, insurance extortionate etc etc. His mum called me asked me not to go through insurance - I said I'd get a quote for damage, but I'd also tell my insurer . She asked me not to - it'll put his insurance through the roof, he has a high excess.

But - this has happened before (not the same accident obviously )and I've never gone through insurance, and always ended up with a shite repair job..

If I go through my insurance they will pick my car up, give me a courtesy car, get car fixed properly and deliver it back.

How do I know they will cough up? ? I've let my insurance know - but said I don't know if I want to make a claim.

Life would be easier for me to go via insurance, that's what I pay it for. Why do I feel so guilty???

OP posts:
BillyButtfuck · 26/05/2017 20:25

Fall out not call out Blush

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 20:35

When a colleague hit me in work car park she paid for my repair - it wasn't perfect, but she was really apologetic, paid up with no questions, so fine by me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 20:36

I want yto be kind- but I'm not going to be a mug

OP posts:
Holdbacktheriver · 26/05/2017 20:44

I'm pretty sure you are legally obligated to inform your insurance company of any accident. So if his mother wants to pay for your repairs then he still needs to inform his insurer... may as well let them deal with it, that's what you pay them
for.

Also remember as it's not your fault you can chose which garage your car is repaired at you just need to tell your insurer where you'd like it to go and you will get a courtesy car too, which you are entitled to one of the same size and standard of your own car.

JaniceBattersby · 26/05/2017 20:48

I might have let them pay you direct if they'd been super-apologetic, agreed to your choice of garage and paid in advance of the work being done with no quibbles. The fact they're not pissing you about suggests this is more hassle than it's worth.

My husband has totally stopped doing favours sat work now because the ones he helps always come back moaning. No good deed goes unpunished.

onesupplied · 26/05/2017 20:51

Did he report it to his insurer? He should've done regardless of if you make a claim. Therefore he'll still have to declare it on his insurance and it will affect his premium either way.

You pay insurance to protect you from situations like this; I don't understand why you don't use it.

Enidblyton1 · 26/05/2017 21:00

I've just had a similar incident with a new driver. You don't go through YOUR insurance any more. The rules have changed.
You go through HIS insurance and then you tell your insurance company afterwards as a courtesy. (Obviously in your case it's the same company).
In your situation I would have taken his details and got a quote first, in case he could afford to pay. But in reality even a small bump can cost a lot to fix, so he'd probably end up using his insurance.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 26/05/2017 21:02

We had this op, lass drove into my partners car at a car park, just wasn't looking at all and fully admitted it (really frustrated me because lots of kids running around at that time so it could have been one of them she hit. She begged not.to go through insurance similar story then started pulling all this multiple quotes crap then it was "oh my bfs dad is a mechanic so we will just buy the parts and he will do it" then coincidentally the next day the bfs dad had a motorcycle accident and was in hospital so repairs would have to wait...absolute joke. In the end he just said pay the bloody quote or its through insurance and she did eventually pay up but I wish we had cut all the crap out and just gone through insurance. As you say if they had been apologetic and just paid up it wpuld be different. The only thing is, won't it effect your own no claims/premium? That's the only reason my dp didn't say no immediately

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 21:07

It shouldn't affect my no claims, but my premiums might go up. No reply. If I don't hear from them tonight I'll send a text telling them I'm going through insurance

OP posts:
Westray · 26/05/2017 21:17

You are making a big assumption that you will be found no fault.

If you report it then the insurance companies will decide who is to blame.
You say it is totally the other driver's fault- but if you have no witnesses and the other party has had time to think about their story then it may not be as cut and dried as you think.

Having said that I would go down the route of informing the insurance company and trying to make a claim, but I wouldn;t be so confident of an outcome totally in your favour.

Merging lanes is likely to come with a 50:50 blame outcome.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 21:28

It wasn't a merging lane - his had a give way sign/road markings. He ignored them. Can't believe I've got this far without needing a diagram!

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 26/05/2017 21:30

If it was at a car park that wpuld be private land...could that impact on pursuing a claim? I don't know either way, I'm just wondering if it's something you might need to consider.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 26/05/2017 21:36

Not sure if we were lucky but the witness for us actually worked for a personal injury lawyer. Admittedly my dad has dealt with everything and i just sign forms he produces or give permission to them over the phone to deal with my claim through my dad, but the day after the crash he called and had spoken to his boss and they had agreed to take on the claim so we didn't have to look for a solicitor or anything and he was also in contact with her and has acted for both parties.

Was a bit of a worry at the very beginning when reporting to our insurance as her insurance policy took her details but it wasn't showing as her having an insurance policy with anybody, but as it was so new it just wasnt registered yet and she was indeed insured.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 21:39

He was in lane a, I was in b.

To feel guilty about this?
OP posts:
Westray · 26/05/2017 21:43

OP if you have no witnesses then it really doesn't matter.

It will be found 50:50 blame unless he admits responsibility- which I doubt.

user1492287253 · 26/05/2017 21:44

tbf there is a reason that 18 year olds have high insurance premiums.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 21:47

Well I've got a trail of emails from him/his mum offering to pay for my damage. Think I'll check if the car park has cctv

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 21:50

What story could he possibly come up with which would explain the damage done to both cars??

OP posts:
Jakeyboy1 · 26/05/2017 21:54

If you even notify your insurance it can still count against you never mind him. Had this recently we reported a situation for advice but never claimed. Then when renewal came it was counted as an incident against us! Get a quote from your main dealer and also from chips away. Start with main dealer quote then move down to chips away if you need to do they feel they are getting a bargain.

stoplickingthetelly · 26/05/2017 21:55

100% go through insurance. You are not responsible for this teenager's excess or insurance.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 21:57

Tried chips away first - job was too big for them.

OP posts:
Jakeyboy1 · 26/05/2017 21:58

@Ginmakesitallok a mobile one or a centre? A centre would do it. If they won't it is definitely an insurance job!

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 22:00

A centre. They couldn't do it. They suggested the place I went to.

OP posts:
Justdontgetitatall · 26/05/2017 22:45

I'm sorry but if you were in lane b, then according to your arrow, you are at fault...

StealthPolarBear · 26/05/2017 22:46

How was she at fault??