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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel guilty about this?

187 replies

Ginmakesitallok · 25/05/2017 18:19

Was hit by another car today going into a car park - after 2 barriers lanes merge into one, other driver should have given way, didn't and went into my side. Not too much damage, but could be costly respray, dent needs knocked out. Totally his fault. 18 year old driver, only had car a couple of weeks, insurance extortionate etc etc. His mum called me asked me not to go through insurance - I said I'd get a quote for damage, but I'd also tell my insurer . She asked me not to - it'll put his insurance through the roof, he has a high excess.

But - this has happened before (not the same accident obviously )and I've never gone through insurance, and always ended up with a shite repair job..

If I go through my insurance they will pick my car up, give me a courtesy car, get car fixed properly and deliver it back.

How do I know they will cough up? ? I've let my insurance know - but said I don't know if I want to make a claim.

Life would be easier for me to go via insurance, that's what I pay it for. Why do I feel so guilty???

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 26/05/2017 22:47

Do you drive?

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 23:05

Eh? How? The dotted line on lane a is a give way line on lane a. Lane b has right of way. I was past him when he pulled out into me - hitting my rear passenger door/wheel rim and bumper with his front bumper.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 26/05/2017 23:05

You just don't get it at all do you😀?

OP posts:
ButtonMooooon · 26/05/2017 23:07

@Justdontgetitatall ** I assume you're going for some kind of irony with your username or can't you see the GIVE WAY line in lane A?

Talith · 26/05/2017 23:08

Go through insurers. Don't feel bad. He damaged your car!

ButtonMooooon · 26/05/2017 23:08

Cross post with @Ginmakesitallok whilst I was dicking about trying to get the bold right Blush

Ipsie · 26/05/2017 23:31

Lack of witnesses won't matter - the damage done will be witness enough. I was reversed into whilst I was stationary in a car park. The engineers who examined my car confirmed I was telling the truth. The engineers used by his insurance company agreed - he'd tried to claim 50:50 fault. His insurance paid up. My car was also a write off as considered not worth fixing by my insurance. Long story short, don't worry about lack of witnesses

Sprinklestar · 26/05/2017 23:57

Don't deal with his mum! She didn't cause the crash. How odd for her to be involved in the first place... Go through insurance. He shouldn't be on the road if he can't drive and understand basic road signs.

cherrytree63 · 27/05/2017 00:56

Someone reversed into my car in the car park at work, broke a headlight and dented my bumper. She was worried about her insurance and I was willing to let her pay for the repair.
However I rang my insurance company and informed them of the incident in case she didn't pay.
She gave me £500 the next day, which more than covered the cost of the repairs.
But because I'd informed my insurance company they wanted my car inspected, they deemed it a write off (old car and not deemed economical to repair), and refused to insure it until I'd had an engineers report and new MOT. So cost me more in the long run.
Have you got your NCD protected? If you have and go through your insurance then it shouldn't affect your premiums unless the claim isn't settled before your renewal, but in that case if you're found not at fault you'd get a refund.
However, how much is your compulsory and voluntary excess? If you're unlucky enough to be found at fault, or your insurance company decides on "knock for knock" you may be worse off. My excess is £500, so would consider accepting payment from the other driver.

SomeOtherFuckers · 27/05/2017 00:56

I wouldn't go through the insurance but would ask that they allow you to find a repair shop and pay and then invoice them and they pay you.
I've been driving 4 years and my insurance is £1,500 per year ( I lost my no claims last year because my car was written off in the floods) .
I know it is his fault but it will cause him not to be able to keep his car, could lose his job from that ... its shit but insurance is extortionate x

ittakes2 · 27/05/2017 07:35

When you go through insurance the premiums can go up so high it makes it more expensive. And you have the remember he'll be paying this extra insurance money for the rest of his life.
I don't get why you think the job will be inferior - if you choose the company to do the job? No one said you have to choose the cheapest quote.
And to make sure the money is paid all you do is send a photo of the quote to the mother and get her to transfer the money to your account before you get the work done.
I accidentally knocked a stationary car and did similar damage. I left a note on the screen and she called me. She got a quote at a place she was happy with and when she sent me the photo of the quote I transferred the money (about £350) that same day. She wasn't in the car when I knocked it so she was grateful I'd left her a note and paid her. She was happy with the work.
At the end of the day it's up to you what you want to do so you should not feel guilty. I'm just saying these things because not going through insurance doesn't mean you will be out of pocket or unhappy with the result. If this is also about the courtesy car - also tell the mother you would need them to also pay for a hire car etc if this is what you need.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 27/05/2017 08:23

I think we're all pretty much in agreement - in which case surely it's in his interest to just pay the quote I've sent them instead of pissing about asking me to get more quotes!

OP posts:
onesupplied · 27/05/2017 10:08

He won't be paying extra insurance the rest of his life, you have to only declare accidents in the last 5 years. That's just dramatic. Surely poor drivers should pay the cost.

You've already told your insurance company so they'll put your premium up anyway. May as well go the whole way in my opinion.

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 27/05/2017 10:14

Still no response from mum to yesterday's text. I've texted him again asking if he's going to pay or if he wants me to go via insurance. I'll text again at lunchtime saying that if I don't hear from them by (when?) I'll assume they are now refusing to pay for the damage.

OP posts:
Magpiemagpie · 27/05/2017 10:34

My son had an accident when he was 21 in his first years of insurance
His first years quote was £1050

Second year after the claim was £1250 so not a massive rise in price .

We paid for the damage on his car to be fixed which was £1200 😥

So it's not true that his insurance will go up massively couple of hundred pounds maybe

ButtonMooooon · 27/05/2017 10:36

What time did you send the text? I would wait maybe 24 hours at most and then text saying as I haven't heard from you I have no option but to go through Insurance Company. Then let them communicate via Insurers. Block her number if necessary Wink

onesupplied · 27/05/2017 10:52

I had an accident in my 10th year of driving which caused a lot of damage to both cars. I was at fault but my insurance only went up about £100. It might be more as he's a young driver but young driver premiums are huge anyway. If you'd gone through the insurer it would probably be fixed by now but instead you're running around getting quotes and causing yourself loads of hassle just to do someone a favour? Makes no sense to me.

Groovee · 27/05/2017 10:52

Someone crashed into my car on the 10th of May and denied it. But a witness took his reg number and got his name for me. I was in work at the time. Insurance had it fixed within 2 weeks and it cost £1800 to repair. They even claimed my excess off him.

ToneDeafHamster · 27/05/2017 11:09

Just go through your insurance. You owe nothing to these people, they will just mess you about. They already are! There is a reason we have car insurance. People seldom can be trusted when it comes to money, why put yourself through the inevitable grief and stress.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 27/05/2017 11:11

I believe that you are legally required to tell your insurer...

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 27/05/2017 11:13

Text to mum was at about 7.30 yesterday, text to driver was this morning

OP posts:
Starlighter · 27/05/2017 11:18

If it's just a scrape, I wouldn't go through the insurance. I personally would feel guilty about this kid's simple mistake.

Go to a garage of your choice, get a quote and ask for all the money upfront immediately. If they do this, then it's all fine.

There's no guarantee you'll get a good job through insurance anyway, they have their listed garage they use and some are rubbish. It can also be hassle sorting it all out, waiting/picking up the courtesy car, inspecting that for damage, etc.

Starlighter · 27/05/2017 11:22

Sorry, the rest of this post wasn't showing! I've seen you've done that.

How strange they're making you run around to other garages when they're at fault?!

Text her with a deadline now. Say you don't have time (or inclination!) to be running around everywhere for quotes! Please respond within 24 hrs or I'll be going through my insurance.

I can't believe how silly and ungrateful they're being?!

DontTouchTheMoustache · 27/05/2017 18:05

Any news op?

Original poster
Ginmakesitallok · 28/05/2017 09:53

No news, no reply to either of my last texts. I'll be putting in an insurance claim tomorrow.

OP posts:
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