To think I can manage a 1hr 50 min commute each way

[Lucyannieamy]

Hi
I currently have a 35-45min commute from London zone 3 in. We are seriously looking at moving out, but need some views on whether the commute would be a killer.
Looks like it'd be leave home about 7am for a 7.30 train, 50 min into London, 25mins across London to get into the office on time. Way home is a little quicker train so if I left at 5 I should get home about 6.45

Kids are 7&4 and DH would work local.

Is it worth it to get out of London?

My DD1 who is in her early 20's did the commute from Brighton to London for 6 months. It nearly broke her and she ended up splitting up with her boyfriend and moving into London. She can now walk to her work and is much happier now she can actually have a life.

I used to do that kind of commute with kids aged 4 and 2, and it broke me eventually. Just too much time on top of being the chief family manager (which I never minded in and of itself) in conjunction with a stressful, serious, job. Think carefully OP.

Hey OP,

I commute into London daily, leave the house at 7 to get in for 9. 55 minutes into Waterloo, then tube and a short walk at the other end.

It's honestly not too bad, you get used to it and I quite enjoy the time on the train in the morning to read & wake up a bit before getting to work.

I'll admit the journey home can be depressing sometimes as there's no way to ever get home any faster, but to be honest the commute actually isn't that much longer than many of my colleagues' who live within the London Zones.

I'd do it :)

The

I think it's the 16 minutes at the beginning and the 25 minutes at the end that you need to look at. There's too much that can go wrong I reckon.

DH commutes into London. We live 5 minutes drive from the station this end, and it's walkable if necessary, and easy to get a cab home if he's been out with clients and had a drink or whatever. His tube journey the other end is about 10 minutes max, and there are bus or even walking options if things go wrong as they sometimes do.

Is there any mileage in commuting into a mainline station which is closer your office than 25 minutes, and/or living nearer the station at the 'home' end?

Also, the train from where we live is a fast-ish one, and our stop is the second stop, so DH can always get a seat. Makes it more bearable than the 45 minute commute we had when living in London itself, which was standing on a crowded tube train the whole way. An hour on an overground train with a seat is luxury in comparison.

Having said that if you can leave the house at 7 and be back at 6.15 and see the kids every day that sounds fantastic to me. DH is rarely back before 8.30.

That sounds bad!

I used to have an hour then couldn't handle it and moved next door to work. I hate my job but it took me months to decide to change, because I didn't want to commute and pay £400 a month for it! Bracing myself for the trainlife now

Hi OP

I say if you can afford some form of flexible childcare, or DH can be the local worker, do it.. things have a habit of working out.

We moved out to a more rural area (relatively speaking). My commute is approx 1hr 30mins if things go smoothly. I did most days in the office for 3 years and now am more senior to have a lot of flexibility. The train journey is long but I work / review on the train so it's definitely not wasted time.

full time working in general can be tough when you have DC.. as mine have got older, the challenges have sometimes seemed even harder, but the benefit of living somewhere we love and are entirely happy with has been worth it.

Do factor in the travel costs as well.. our monthly tickets went from £130 ish to £450 ish each so even though we bought a cheaper house, we had to build those costs in.

Go for it .. live somewhere you love and make it work 😎

Is this a London/south thing because I don't know anyone in the North West who spends more than 30 mins travelling.

My commute is a about 1h 20. 10 min cycle each end of a 1h train ride and it's probably the limit of my tolerance. If I had to tube it as well I'd hate it 10x more. The worst part of my journey is battling with walkers in the station - like walkers from the Walking Dead

It is a south thing. Two days a week , 6 hour commute on those days.

The best part of 4 hours on travelling 4 days a week? Not for me Im afraid!

I did just over an hour each way for the first few years of my career, and then did it again a few years alter not long after DD was born. And that was bad enough, and that was me driving and not reliant on public transport.

I'd never do it again! Mind, my commute is 10-15 minutes now and it is bliss.

No, it isn't just a south thing. I work in Sheffield, and loads of people I work with have a long commute.

Compared with what you do now, it sounds like it has the potential for a pretty miserable commute- and thats when everything runs on time.

Your commute sounds pretty good at the moment.

I think you have to look carefully at what is best for you and your family- is the benefit of moving to the countryside/having a bigger house going to outweigh the negative effect of the London commute?

How about the cost of a season ticket? people often forget to factor this in initially. My in-laws pay out several thousand pounds a year for the pleasure of commuting with southern rail- very often late home due to train delays, overcrowding, nowhere to sit on the train.

It's a personal thing but I know that I wouldn't be able to manage that kind of daily commute- it would just get to me too much!

reading all the threads about horrible neighbours make me feel better about my own ridiculous commute! As I said, it is a complete waste of time, you don't have a life during the week and it's exhausting. Having said that, if it allows you to live in a decent area, big house with lovely neighbours and great schools, it's still worth doing (in my case).

At least once we are finally home, we don't have to put up with loud music, screaming, antisocial neighbours. It is bliss to know you can sit outside or lay in bed without being disturbed. Unless I can afford the same lifestyle in Central London (no chance of that ever happening), I'll stick to my commute until the kids start Uni and we can relocate.

My husband and I have a similar commute in terms of time. I work park time and it's miserable. He does it everyday! We drop kids to my parents by half 6 and then collect them at half 6! Literally 30 mins with the kids all day! It's hell! Don't do it!

BTG its very common in south to have a commute this long. I explained upthread the reasons people get stuck in horrrid commutes (high house prices and having to go to London to earn enough to pay mortgage)

NewPapa I agree re walkers in station!
In theory it should only take a minute to get from the entrance to Waterloo to my train but it takes ages because of people walking around staring at their phones!

I am- why is that? What is in Sheffield that can't be found elsewhere? I would have thought Leeds and Manchester would offer anything that anyone could want on those sides. Is it people who live on the other sides etc where perhaps work is more scarce?

I get the high house prices etc but is this based on aspirations being higher ? Most people I know are relatively happy with their 3 bed semi and holiday abroad each year and don't go chasing more money or is it crippling to just afford that in the South? If so why do people stay?

I work at the head office of a multi million pound company, and we have people travelling from Manchester and North and West Yorkshire. It isn't the distance so much as the awful traffic and inadequate road systems. We have also closed down local branches so people that used to work at the branches now come to Sheffield.

My husband does 1.5 hours each way into London 5 days a week. I have 30-40minute drive to work 5 days a week. We have a toddler in full time nursery, no family nearby (hundreds of miles away). We also don't have a cleaner. We think it's worth it, we live in beautiful surroundings and make the most of the countryside on our doorstep at weekends. Life is hectic though. Maybe rent first and see if you can manage it.

I leave home at 6.45 and usually get home at 6.15, so out similar times. 70% of mine is driving the rest walking. Huge disclaimer that I don't have kids, but I find mine fine. I'd like more evening time, but it's not awful. And I feel like on a train you'd have more chance to start winding down?

Depends what you want from moving out of London too, some of the trains out my way (Essex) can be awful for problems.

Btg - in zone 3/4 London a three bed semi can easily be a million quid.
So I don't think it's unrealistic expectations at all. Instead people realise that to have any hope of a three bed semi and a holiday the only option is a really long commute
Lots of jobs, particularly government and associated, are only in London

Hi OP

We moved out of London and our set-up sounds similar in terms of commute /distance.

Dh commutes 4-5 days per week and I do 2-3 times we have done this for 6 years. I am generally one that rushes back for the childcare etc as my role is flexible. Overall we are really glad we moved but a few pros and cons
Cons

1. it is VERY stressful when it goes wrong and you need to get home (sounds like your dh local so not a huge issue?)
2. days are long and you don't see much of young dc, although now mine are a bit older much less of an issue
3. there are times it is tiring I can't lie!
4. socialising in London after work is a pain as you get back really late

Pros

1. I love where we live
2. I quite like the train in. I get a seat, have a coffee and catch up on emails. It's harder going home so I tend to catch up on a tv series or read.

Overall def worth it for us. It has given us all a great quality of life