To think I can manage a 1hr 50 min commute each way

[Lucyannieamy]

Hi
I currently have a 35-45min commute from London zone 3 in. We are seriously looking at moving out, but need some views on whether the commute would be a killer.
Looks like it'd be leave home about 7am for a 7.30 train, 50 min into London, 25mins across London to get into the office on time. Way home is a little quicker train so if I left at 5 I should get home about 6.45

Kids are 7&4 and DH would work local.

Is it worth it to get out of London?

"Sounds like a reasonable commute"

Really? I think it sounds hellish. I found a 90 minute commute before having DD bad enough. Having such a long commute and never seeing your children doesn't sound like a great life balance. After all, no-one on their deathbed says they wished they had worked at a job with a long commute, but they might regret not seeing much of their children.

it's doable, but tiring and bloody tedious if trains get delayed or cancelled, turning almost 2 hours, maybe with a seat into almost 3, or more, likely without one.

No way, that sounds like hell. Either stay where you are or else move but also move jobs.

Depends how long you're planning on doing it for.

A year - definitely. Two years - have to think about it. Until you retire - definitely not.

I've done this for about 4yrs but before I had DD. It can be done but you'll be exhausted and grumpy. And the whole week is eat, sleep, work, repeat. You just won't have energy for anything else.

Only you know if it's worth it or not

My commute is approx 75 min door to door. It's only three days per week though, couldn't do it more frequently.

No. No no and again no. Awful idea.

Some very delicate flowers here.
I've been doing this - and worse - for the last 15 years. Many people will do this for their whole careers.
Staggering how different peoples conceptions of hardship can be, isn't it?

I do something similar (but only 2 days a week). I leave home at 7.05. Bus to station. Train around 7.30. Arrive London 8.10 in office by 8.30. Leave work beyween 4.30 and 5. Home around 6.30 for DC bath. It's doable. I'm just far enough out to be guaranteed a seat on the train. If I had to do it 5 days a week and never got a seat it would be much more tedious.

My office is moving soon which will add a further 30 minutes each way. Not looking forward to that I admit.

I wouldn't want to do it but I know plenty of people do have crazy commutes.

I think it works better when the other spouce is a SAHP when the other one is out of the hose so much.

It sounds awful.

I did a commute like that when my kids were the same age and it nearly killed me. I had to quit after 6 months but was exhausted and failing at my job.

I found have subsequently done 1hr 20min and that is more manageable but frankly would not go back to it.

DONT you will regret it, you will barely see your kids and have no home life.

I had a commute like this and insisted we move closer. Now both DH and I have a 45min commute. It's what we can tolerate.

that's my commute, and it's hell, wouldn't really recommend if you have a choice. Trains are always running late, so it always take longer and basically you have no life.

Leave home around 6:30, come back around 8pm on a good day. It's depressing when you think of all the things you could do instead of commuting - you know, like having a life.

Frankly, the only reason I don't relocate is because of the kids schools. We live in a decent area, the schools are outstanding but we are in the right -very strict - catchment so it's good for them. I can't find a job that pays properly closer from home. At least we have weekends off, but commuting is truly exhausting. I'd rather go to the gym than being stuck in a train.

I used to do it when I was young, pre DH and DD. Only after I'd stopped did I wonder how and why I'd done it for so long. As pps have said, it's hours on a train at a mimimum when everything's running smoothly. Are you taking into account signal failures, breakdowns, people on the line, strikes etc?

Nope. Would not do that with little DCs.

Don't do it! I did it for 8 months, and it nearly killed me. Your DH won't be sympathetic (they never are), because he's only got a teeny tiny commute.

Ignore the delicate flower comment.

I did a similar commute - 1hr 45 door to door - into London. Whichever PP it was who said it's work, eat, sleep, repeat had it right. Of course lots of people do it but those who do it without their job or home life suffering are those who have rock solid support at home, especially re childcare. They are unlikely to be coming home to do all the household chores. And, with younger kids, you probably have to accept not seeing them awake during the working week.

I did it for years before I had DS. It's why I didn't go back after maternity leave, 3 hours I'm not getting paid for, but I'd need to pay childcare for? Nope, not a chance. I now work 6 miles from home doing less than 16 hours a week, but ending up better off than I would have done after the added travel and childcare expenses.

On the flip side though ... 3 hours a day of reading my book without anyone shouting "Muuuuuuuuuum!" at me sounds like bliss!

For me, the end came when I sat at Stratford underground station and the sign popped up the following message 'the next train will be 45 minutes'. It should have been 2 minutes. So that's 43 mins on top of a 2 hour commute.

I think it might be ok if your commute is very reliable. But in and around London, it very rarely is.

I now work from home,. Best decision I ever made.

No, I do 1hr 15 in total (car, walk, train) and today it's hot & hellish.
Packed in train & stood up.

As it is on the train and not in a car it sounds quite relaxing. Think of all the quiet yime!

no - you would be mad

My commute can be over an hour if traffic is bad (shakes fist at J9 of the m42) - and that kills me - I often have to drive 1hr 45 mins to a specific meeting and that is awful -basically you are adding 4 hours on to your day!

HoobleDooble - not if you're standing up in an overcrowded train with your nose in someone's unwashed armpit, it isn't!