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Original poster

To think I can manage a 1hr 50 min commute each way

197 replies

Lucyannieamy · 25/05/2017 16:33

Hi
I currently have a 35-45min commute from London zone 3 in. We are seriously looking at moving out, but need some views on whether the commute would be a killer.
Looks like it'd be leave home about 7am for a 7.30 train, 50 min into London, 25mins across London to get into the office on time. Way home is a little quicker train so if I left at 5 I should get home about 6.45

Kids are 7&4 and DH would work local.

Is it worth it to get out of London?

OP posts:
Eolian · 25/05/2017 21:20

Staggering how different peoples conceptions of hardship can be, isn't it?

It's not hardship, it's a choice. A choice which many people (including me) would find unacceptable. But then I've never done a commute longer than 30 mins.

maddiemookins16mum · 25/05/2017 21:26

But, the whole gender thing is true...to a point... a lot of men in some family units do "just" commute very early/work and come home at 8pm and flop (I'm not saying that's ok) especially if their partner is a home caring parent (and again, I'm not saying that's easy). There are men out there who do this every day, I see more men on my commute than women.

KatherinaMinola · 25/05/2017 21:27

I used to do this in my 20s and my experience was the same as Rise's above - regularly falling asleep (if I could get a seat, that is - not always possible in rush hour if you live in commuterland). Horrendous.

maddiemookins16mum · 25/05/2017 21:29

Sometimes it's not a choice. My company moved to India, I had to change my commute (to their nearest retained office) or become unemployed (not wise at 44 as I was then).

Crunchymum · 25/05/2017 21:36

I did an hour each way for a decade.

I was young and it spanned me being with my folks for most of it so negated having proper responsibilities (for example my folks had younger children, whom they cooked for, so I benefited from dinner most nights which was a massive help). There is no way on Earth I'd have been able to commute 2 hours a day with kids.

Fixmylife · 25/05/2017 21:37

Nope, life is too short. I did 1 hour commute for about 20 years and now wondering why! The money was good and it paid off the mortgage so maybe if you have an end in sight?

PaintingOwls · 25/05/2017 21:39

I am currently doing 90 minutes for a training conference all well. The first couple of days weren't too bad but then the exhaustion started to creep up on me. I wouldn't do this permanently if I could help it, let alone 2 hours! You will of course have to allow time in case there are delays.

Madness. Don't do it.

SaltySeaBird · 25/05/2017 21:43

Mine is about 1 hour 30 mins each way and I'm out the house 7-7. DH works locally, DC are 4 and 1.

I currently do it four days a week, I couldn't do five.

Westray · 25/05/2017 21:45

No way.
Twenty hours a week commute?

EastMidsGPs · 25/05/2017 21:45

As someone who is leaving their job in part because of a commute of at least one and a half hours each way x 4 days a week, I'd say think really hard. Especially if you gave a busy family life.
Admittedly my commute is by car but with no motorway in it, lots of rush hour queuing at roundabouts, and many lorries/ tractors every day, both ways, I've just had enough.
Not so bad this time if the year, but the stress of really really concentrating when it's dull wet weather, dark mornings and evenings and OMG when it's icy has made me call it a day - and this winter was mild and I still found it traumatic even though I am a confident driver.

As I said, think hard,

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 25/05/2017 21:47

Depends where you're moving to OP. DH does it and the move was the best thing we ever did, it is amazing where we live. He's been doing it for 10 years and we've never considered moving. However, he does usually do 2 days a week at home - 5 days would be brutal and we wouldn't have moved if he/i had the kind of job where we had to be in at 9am every day. Yes it can be hard sometimes but the pros for us hugely outweigh the cons and luckily for us all it is something he is prepared to do.

Iwantmoretimetomyself17 · 25/05/2017 21:53

My commute is similar: cycle or drive to station (25 mins), train (55 mins), tube (10 mins), walk (5 mins)

Couple of things to bear in mind:

At my station the car park is full by not much after 7am so you can't turn up at 7.30 and expect to park

Coming home the train is really packed so everyone arrives at station 10 mins before it leaves London to get a seat, so you're actually on the train 1 hour 5 mins for a 55 min journey. Or you stand, and it's packed so standing is misery!

Iwantmoretimetomyself17 · 25/05/2017 21:56

Those of you who now "work locally" or from home what kinds of jobs do you do now?!

Alconleigh · 25/05/2017 21:56

I do 90 mins each way. 25 min walk to station. 30 mins on train. 30 mins tube. The only bit I dislike is the last part. Try to work from home one day a week. It's pretty tiring but I don't have children so only have myself to sort out. I also live on a line with trains into London every few minutes and pretty much always get a seat.

It's fairly normalised for me as in any central London consultancy or professional services company most people commute. It's just standard. I have colleagues in Southampton, Suffolk, Kent, Hampshire......

It is eye wateringly expensive though and I don't really want to be doing it in ten years. I couldnt imagine walking away from my job now because of the commute though. There is no provincial job which could hold a candle to it.

Fixmylife · 25/05/2017 22:04

P.s. My commute now is 10 mins! Life is very different now...

londonmummy1966 · 25/05/2017 22:04

I did a similar length commute for a while but the difference was that my train journey was longer but the cross London was shorter. And I got on early enough to always get a seat in the morning. (So I could get a chunk of work done on my way in and that cut down on the overtime I did in the office.) Part of the issue is the frequency of trains - a huge difference if there are 4 fast trains an hour or one fast train and one slow that takes almost twice as long.

Dishwashersaurous · 25/05/2017 22:06

Agree Iwantmore, what jobs are there which are a ten minutes commute

Titsdown · 25/05/2017 22:06

I do it. 1h50in, 2h home. 4 dpw. WFH Friday. DCs 1yo and 3yo. Out of the house 6.20-6.

And its worth it.

What makes it possible for me:
I like my job a lot and really really love where I live.
The money is good and the trains always have seats and rarely have delays.
I live by the coast in a town I enjoy so I don't have to go anywhere else at the weekend.
DP is a SAH/WAHD so pick up/drop off and childcare is covered flexibly.
We live a 2 minutes walk from the station - I don't think I would like to have to travel to the train.
I have flexible working so do some hours on the train.
When I'm not working I watch telly on my phone.
I've only got a very short journey at the "London end" (4 tube stops, but even that takes 20 mins by the time ive done it).
A positive attitude: we signed up for this. I knew what I was getting into and I have to know the trade off is worth it.

The downsides:
It's a loooong day and I'm shattered by Thursday.
When there are delays, I'm stuck and I feel guilty about not pulling my weight with the kids.
I've had to let go of a lot of my social life (it was on the wane anyway with 2 small DCs!) but even a quick catch up with a London friend can mean not getting home until 9-10pm (past bedtime!) And wreck me for the whole week.
Returning from mat leave to this (new) commute in the middle of winter nearly broke me. But it's so much better in the summer.

Against the grain. It's very doable. But you have to know why you are doing it and stay positive. Reliable trains and connections are vital. Kiss goodbye to your London friends too.

Westray · 25/05/2017 22:07

I don;t commute.

I make stuff and sell it online.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 25/05/2017 22:20

That's helpful westray Grin

Loopy9 · 25/05/2017 22:24

Too long. I did 1hr 45mins each way for 3 months in my twenties and it nearly killed me. I couldn't do it with a family.. there is more to life than a 4 hour commute.

Polichinelle · 25/05/2017 22:27

I've been doing that for 6 years. 3 years into it, I started having marriage problem which no doubt were exacerbated by my constant tiredness. A year later I was divorced. Now that I'm on my own, I don't mind my commute any more.

Westray · 25/05/2017 22:28

cake- that was in answer to Iwantmoretimetomyself17 question.

Catsize · 25/05/2017 22:30

I do that, and more. Sometimes less. I tend to work on the train, rather than at home, so it balances out a bit.

foreverandalways · 25/05/2017 22:37

Have u thought about a possible change of career as well as a change of home location.....goodness, you will be exhausted....best of luck whatever u choose....seriously think of your home/work balance and more importantly your stress levels and health x