To even consider ringing the school about school play role allocations?

[theduchessstill]

I know I probably am, but I really want some opinions as I feel so bad for ds and if there's a chance I'm not BU I want to know.

There is an end of year production every year at ds’s school to celebrate ‘leavers’. Main speaking parts are allocated to Y6s, but there are always a few smaller roles available for Y5s. The rest of KS2 make up the choir, which ds hates – not that that is an issue. He has been planning all year to go for a speaking part.

Auditions were held today and he is very disappointed to be one of only two Y5s not to be in consideration for a part. There were two stages – speaking roles and dancing and he went for the dance after his name wasn’t called for a speaking part and he wasn’t listed for that either. Apparently no roles have been allocated but everyone except him and one other were told they were still in the running.

My issues are that several year 4s have been listed as in consideration, which I think is very unfair when there were two year 5s who wanted parts. I also think it’s a lot of rejection – I know he will have been gutted in between the speaking and dancing audition and hate to think of him rejected for both. He is confident, but not over confident (teacher’s words from past parents’ evenings) and is very able but also ‘just so nice’ (also teacher’s words). I know I sound a total arse, but I include to show that they would not have nay concerns about him learning lines or having the right attitude.

I know he can’t have everything he wants, and so does he. His dad and I have recently divorced and he has had to make adjustments in the light of that. Obviously, that’s nothing to do with it really, and I don’t know if that’s colouring my opinion or if there is something inherently unfair about the way this has been done.

One a scale of 1-10, how much of an arse would I be to ring and ask why he wasn’t selected when Y4s were?

What you're describing sounds very different to complaining your son hasn't got a part. If all but two are still "under consideration" why not just consider them too? There is a lot of wiggle room between indulgence and harshness.

Some of the posters have been very cruel and personal towards you because I think they have just taken one element of what you are saying. I agree it's a tough one to bring up with the teacher for that reason, so if it were me I might mention it just in the context of asking if your son has the facts right. I am not sure what a satisfactory resolution would be though.

It could go either way I have known some parents to go in kick up a stink and suddenly child gets part but others teachers have wiped the floor with them. Incidentally one of the ones who cried over not getting a part and whose mum phoned up about it and so was given one broke down at auditions.

You probably ABU BUT you are his mum and if you don't stick up for him who will?
Ring, but be nice.
Sorry for all the difficulties you both have faced

Don't ring! Cringe. You will be "that" parent.

There's no satisfactory resolution really, but at least they will be aware of his feelings and may bear it in mind next year. I also have a younger ds there so will be going through all this several more times. I know ds2 will be overlooked for parts though because he is so quiet. He used to go to a drama group (a shit one) and the teacher gave him a tiny part as he was so shy. On the day he shone and took it very seriously. He knew exactly what he was doing, while the loud and 'bubbly' children mainly fell apart and stood waving at their parents. It annoys me when teachers can't see past the obvious.

In the OP's situation, I wouldn't want a part as the outcome.

I would want an acknowledgement that this approach is highly unnecessary with primary school children in a non-professional setting and will not happen next year.

I think it would be reasonable to go in. I think it is thoughtless if the school to conduct the auditions as such that 2 boys are singled out as 'knocked out' in the first round. With 1 of the boys the product of a recent divorce.

Fine, give parts on merit but don't leave out small numbers in that way. They should have just auditioned everyone with no comment then posted the lists on the board.

In addition I don't think it would be unreasonably to ensure everyone who really wanted a speaking part got a couple of words 'and I!'

OP just to clarify - did every single other yr5 get through to the 2nd round for consideration?

Or did let's say 10 yr5 children audition and only 2 didn't go through?

I think many of us are not clear on this.

If 98 of 100 yr5 kids got through and he didn't is the case I think it is very different to if 10 of 100 yr5 kids auditioned, and 2 didn't make it through.

It's Ok to feel disappointed for him. But don't do it.

I feel for your ds OP, it is hard not being picked for roles in plays or sports or musical events. I am over it really. He has had a lot to contend with and I think that may be colouring your judgement on this.

You could ask for feedback I guess

Great idea! Please just remember that this is a leavers assembly, not a job interview. I doubt that they have a panel and keep a score sheet to feedback to disgruntled parents

It's a tough one OP, just explain to your ds in a lighthearted way that this is life and that the dc of teaching staff and PTA usually get all of the parts.

10

There is no way they were all better than him.

Seriously?? And how do you know this?

It's a pretty small school. I'm not sure how many Y5s auditioned, but several did. Only two didn't get through. I don't see why the numbers involved particularly matters - two were singled out as not having 'impressed' the teacher - that was the term used.

jogondown because I've been to lots of plays there before, and it seems to me highly unlikely they were so much better than him in the smallish roles they auditioned for that it necessitated them leapfrogging over him to get parts that should have gone to Y5s.

The fact that you mention your DS2 also not being given limelight parts and how he is clearly better as other kids 'fell apart' suggests you definitely are one of THOSE parents.

YABU.

There is a very big difference between 2/100 not being selected versus 2/10 kids.

jogondown because I've been to lots of plays there before, and it seems to me highly unlikely they were so much better than him

Give me strength

I'm a drama teacher and think that this process sounds a bit odd. Has all of your info come from DS? Are you sure he's got it right?

We do absolutely hate whinging letters from parents complaining about Little Jimmy only being the 3rd Spear Carrier when he is clearly far more capable than Henry V (I have one such letter framed above my desk). On the other hand, I don't think there's any harm in seeking clarification here as long as you do it without histrionics. I would email and say that he is disappointed not to have been more involved in the production and you are worried that he might be upset. If I got an email like this I would be tempted to find the child a few extra lines or a backstage role but nobody's ever been promoted to Henry V because their mother complained (spear or no spear).

He is already very well aware that life isn't fair, thanks. In fact, I had a thread on here at the weekend because I was worried about him telling me that 'life is hard, mum," and that 'you can't appreciate being happy unless you're sad sometimes.' He's had a divorce to contend with and a less than ideal father.

As have millions of other kids. You say you're a teacher? Then you know you're being massively precious. The school will roll their eyes and possibly pander to you. Is that really what you want? Alternatively, they may roll their eyes and tell you your child simply didn't get it because others are better, which is what the head of drama did at my school after endless pestering from a parent.

Of course you believe your child is confident and expressive etc, but maybe his teachers just don't agree.

This is like the super soaker thread, just set on a stage instead...

Ooh what was that? Link?

The fact that you mention your DS2 also not being given limelight parts and how he is clearly better as other kids 'fell apart' suggests you definitely are one of THOSE parents.

I'm really not. He was better in the day, and that was just a fact. I thought it was ironic because the teacher had written him off as too quiet and then he was more confident and 'together' than most of the louder kids. It was the teacher's fault and is why he doesn't go there anymore. Anyway, nothing to do with this.

It sounds like basically you think he should have a part because he's had a hard year. Maybe those year 4s have had a harder one?

However you phrase it, it will sound like you are saying "he should have a part"-and they've not even been given parts, it's juts through to round 2.
Assuming it's similar to dc's school I'd guess that around about 75% of the girls auditioned and around 30-40% of the boys, so he won't be on his own by a good factor. If they automatically put all through to round 2, then what's the point in having round 2?

With the year 4s it may be that the play has a part or two for a smaller child-a bit like a friend's dc's secondary school did Annie and they let the juniors audition for Mollie although they didn't usually involve the juniors.
Or it may be that those year 4s are noticeably talented. In dd1's infants there was a little girl with an absolutely amazing voice.This child was really special. And she got to sing solo in year 1 when typically the year 1s were being various chorus items. I did slightly raise my eyebrows when dd1 told me, because I knew year 1s had their turn next year, but when she sang I totally understood. her dm was really embarrassed about it, but I felt she was so outstanding it deserved recognition.

they may roll their eyes and tell you your child simply didn't get it because others are better, which is what the head of drama did at my school after endless pestering from a parent.

But this situation is nothing like that, is it? There is no head of drama because it's a primary school and this is supposed to be a fun and inclusive production for the Year 6 with any parts they don't take being had by the Y5s. It's nothing like me ringing the head of drama in 5 years time and demanding he be given leading roles. If I do I'll deserve a response like the one you describe, but this situation is different.

There is no way they were all better than him. He is confident and expressive and having been to the last two such performances I am confident that the school is not over -run with talent

Were you at the audition process OP?