To even consider ringing the school about school play role allocations?

[theduchessstill]

I know I probably am, but I really want some opinions as I feel so bad for ds and if there's a chance I'm not BU I want to know.

There is an end of year production every year at ds’s school to celebrate ‘leavers’. Main speaking parts are allocated to Y6s, but there are always a few smaller roles available for Y5s. The rest of KS2 make up the choir, which ds hates – not that that is an issue. He has been planning all year to go for a speaking part.

Auditions were held today and he is very disappointed to be one of only two Y5s not to be in consideration for a part. There were two stages – speaking roles and dancing and he went for the dance after his name wasn’t called for a speaking part and he wasn’t listed for that either. Apparently no roles have been allocated but everyone except him and one other were told they were still in the running.

My issues are that several year 4s have been listed as in consideration, which I think is very unfair when there were two year 5s who wanted parts. I also think it’s a lot of rejection – I know he will have been gutted in between the speaking and dancing audition and hate to think of him rejected for both. He is confident, but not over confident (teacher’s words from past parents’ evenings) and is very able but also ‘just so nice’ (also teacher’s words). I know I sound a total arse, but I include to show that they would not have nay concerns about him learning lines or having the right attitude.

I know he can’t have everything he wants, and so does he. His dad and I have recently divorced and he has had to make adjustments in the light of that. Obviously, that’s nothing to do with it really, and I don’t know if that’s colouring my opinion or if there is something inherently unfair about the way this has been done.

One a scale of 1-10, how much of an arse would I be to ring and ask why he wasn’t selected when Y4s were?

I think I might have gone in to the school to ask for clarification too OP. At the end of the day it's a leaver's production - not bloody Shakespeare at the Globe!!!

School productions are always a bit shite lovely and natural and that's what makes them so great.
Having said that, I don't like the idea of other year groups being involved full stop. Unless it's a tiny school I suppose.

In my final year, I kept wondering why some of my teachers suddenly treated me like shit. Turned out my mum had interfered like that the previous year without telling me. I was mortified.

Just seen your update op. I think it's appalling this teacher has unilaterally decided to ask yr4 to audition because they were perfect. For me, children should be given the roles according to pecking order i.e. Year group-which means roles for yr5/6 only. I wouldn't be leaving it there...

hi theduchessstill - i have read the full thread and can see you have spoken to the school, and got the answers you wanted.

A similar thing happened to me when i was a lot younger - i wanted a role in a production, didn't get it - told my mum and she called the school to 'enquire' why i wasn't good enough. School didn't want the hassle, game me a tiny tiny part - as in, i was hidden behind an umbrella pretending to be a wheel for a carriage. From then on - i was known as the girl with the pushy mum and it did me NO favours in school. I was mercilessly bullied and had no friends (and i mean not 1) - changed school at 12. I wish she did not do what she did and still think about it till this day (I'm 32 now with kids of my own).

Im sorry your son didn't get a part - but perhaps i would have just explained that there would be other parts in the future he could go for - but thats just me.

I speak with some experience of t'other side of this - used to do casting for tv in previous life and I work in a school performing arts centre now. I used to get very many parents of unsuccessful children ringing and asking why there little darling hadn't got the part. I was even told that one child had been selected because of who their parents were (still have no idea who they might have been ha ha) - but the honest truth is that the best people get the part. Also, often students who do loads of drama out of school just might not have the time to commit to one more thing hence might just get a tiny role in the school production - just because they want to be involved. You can only cast on merit. Imagine if sports teams were run on the basis of using students who just really wanted to it rather than the ones who were really good at that particular sport. Having said all that, in this particular case, if it is really "just" a leavers production then I would agree that it would be best only to involve the children in the leaving year and have everyone in the show - even if they are just a spear carrier. Everyone gets such a lot out of taking part.

NImbleJumper: In another thread YOU complain about other parents complaining about your DS - can you not see the contradiction? You seem a bit overinvested in viewing your DS as always right & other people mistreating him

Since you took the trouble to look up my other thread it's a shame you didn't take the trouble to read it properly. I did not complain about people complaining about ds, I complained about them sniping about him and encouraging their dc to ignore his instructions as captain within his earshot. That is nothing like this situation. A parallel would be if I went to the show and sat making audible comments about how my ds would have been better in the role, or encouraged ds to tell the teacher/other kids that he should have the part. If the cricket parents voiced their concerns to the coach and he then instructed ds to do things differently neither me nor ds would have the slightest problem with that.

shineyredbus You know that the bullying you endured happened because those children were cruel and were not dealt with well by the teachers involved, who may well have been unprofessional in the extreme by making it public that your mum had complained, right? It was not caused by your mother's actions, and if ds is bullied as a result of mine (highly unlikely) I won't consider it to be my fault.

motheroftwoboys That isn't seeing it from the other side because we're not talking about a professional production, but a school play. hth.

theduchessstill oh yes - I am well aware - however, if my mum had never made the complain in the first place I (probably) would have never been bullied. See my point?

Btw - I don't blame my mother in the slightest (she's awesome!) , I just wished she didn't do what she did - even though I know she did it with the best of intentions.

Ridiculous that the Year 4's were invited to audition because they were deemed perfect for certain roles. Why not save that particular play for when those children are leavers and in Year 6? Also, if the teachers are that sure who will be good each role then it is hard to think that other children were auditioned fairly.

YANBU and I see no harm in having calmly enquired about the auction process as you did.

You need to get a grip OP. I'm a teacher and you are the worst type of parent. You try and do your best and some over bearing mum/dad with nothing better to do comes barreling in with their requests for their little precious. As a teacher, they are ALL your 'little precious' and you encourage and nurture them all in the ways you know are best for each one and the group. If others needed the part more than your ds GET OVER IT trust me he'll survive, but also yes his teacher will forever more think you're a pain in the arse.

Cheesemunma I'm a teacher too and disagree in this situation. As I understand it the op's problem was NOT that her little precious didn't get the part he wanted. Rather, everybody in year 5 was told they were being considered for something except these 2(bad enough but ok if there just weren't enough parts) but then having rejected these 2 year 5's they moved on the year 4's! 2 children in a year group singled out and made to feel "not good enough" no sorry that's insensitive on the school's part. Easily enough done when you're busy but I would have wanted to know if this had happened so I could make sure that the children in question didn't feel bad.

Yes, I'd be off to the governors now.