To even consider ringing the school about school play role allocations?

[theduchessstill]

I know I probably am, but I really want some opinions as I feel so bad for ds and if there's a chance I'm not BU I want to know.

There is an end of year production every year at ds’s school to celebrate ‘leavers’. Main speaking parts are allocated to Y6s, but there are always a few smaller roles available for Y5s. The rest of KS2 make up the choir, which ds hates – not that that is an issue. He has been planning all year to go for a speaking part.

Auditions were held today and he is very disappointed to be one of only two Y5s not to be in consideration for a part. There were two stages – speaking roles and dancing and he went for the dance after his name wasn’t called for a speaking part and he wasn’t listed for that either. Apparently no roles have been allocated but everyone except him and one other were told they were still in the running.

My issues are that several year 4s have been listed as in consideration, which I think is very unfair when there were two year 5s who wanted parts. I also think it’s a lot of rejection – I know he will have been gutted in between the speaking and dancing audition and hate to think of him rejected for both. He is confident, but not over confident (teacher’s words from past parents’ evenings) and is very able but also ‘just so nice’ (also teacher’s words). I know I sound a total arse, but I include to show that they would not have nay concerns about him learning lines or having the right attitude.

I know he can’t have everything he wants, and so does he. His dad and I have recently divorced and he has had to make adjustments in the light of that. Obviously, that’s nothing to do with it really, and I don’t know if that’s colouring my opinion or if there is something inherently unfair about the way this has been done.

One a scale of 1-10, how much of an arse would I be to ring and ask why he wasn’t selected when Y4s were?

[Trifleorbust]

MaisyPops

Ever get the feeling you couldn't win even if you stuck a broom up your arse and swept the floor as well?

[theduchessstill]

*
Sometimes it's just getting the best ft kid for the part

Well, it shouldn't be. It should be about getting involved if you want to. Whatever these minor roles are, I find it hard to believe that ds (and the other child) were incapable of filling them. He has had biggish roles in KS1 stuff- by which I just mean they wouldn't need to worry he would mumble, be terrified etc. He is often commended for his expression when reading aloud etc. I just mean, given that no Y4s have ever had a speaking part in the 5 years ds has been there, I don't get why he had to be overlooked.

He is obviously not hurt by being people being praised in front of him usually, but there isa difference between that and 20 ish people being said to have impressed, and him and one other not having impressed. The fact that some Y6s didn't audition is irrelevant.

[BeaderBird]

Surely this is a wind up, right?

[Trifleorbust]

If there is a limited number of roles, they go to the children who impressed, OP. That isn't a slight on your DS.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I wouldn't be overly concerned about not getting a response tbh. I've mailed the teachers twice this year. Once I got one and once I didn't. Both times the situation was addressed. The one I didn't get a response on was informing them that my dd had told me a child was been bullied. The teachers talked to my dd the same day and I imagine the issue was addressed.

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

My immediate reaction to your opening post was that your DS had misunderstood or misrepresented what had gone on.

Even if he was accurate, you say that not all Y5s auditioned and the teacher gave special mention to all but 2 that they had impressed her. Well, that would imply there were hardly any auditioning because surely the teacher won't have stood there reeling off 25 names saying they were impressive?

If I were you I'd be cross checking facts with other parents before calling the school.

[NotYoda]

re: getting involved. He'll definitely be involved next year

re: getting the nest child for the part: And the audition process is to ensure they get the best child for the part. And so they should. I am losing a bit of sympathy after your last post

[theduchessstill]

I don't know any other parents - and they weren't in the audition anyway. Why would doing that being a guarantee of accuracy? I will check what the process was with the teacher.

Ds said she said 'these are the people who impressed me,' and reeled off all but 2 names, or there may have been some Y4s who didn't impress either I suppose. That is how they were told whether they got through or not.

[MaisyPops]

Well, it shouldn't be. It should be about getting involved if you want to
Right.
Maybe I'm screwed by a secondary background but no way in hell do we just let our music ensembles, drama productions and sports teams be less than their best in the name of 'we want everyone to have a go'.

There are sports clubs for all, and the best students make the team/represent the school (so there's some non sport kids who only do athletics club and if they're fast they represent the school even if it's the only club they do). We have music groups & the strongest, and most reliable, musicians make the ensembles. We have drama clubs and the best students get the main parts.

For me, that meant 4 years of doing drama and only having minor parts. So be it. The other kids were better and it would have been selfish for me to expect staff to give me a massive role when there were better kids. The whole team/performance is more important than individuals.

[Bostin]

I'm with you OP. I don't think Y5s who are interested should be overlooked for y4. However we seem to be in the minority!
Guess it is a trade off. Would you rather let it go and do nothing or speak up and risk looking a bit of an arse.

[NotYoda]

They auditioned. Other children were better. That is life

Don't let your upset about him generally cloud your reasoning

[MaisyPops]

My immediate reaction to your opening post was that your DS had misunderstood or misrepresented what had gone on.
Same.

It's like when some of our students tell us 'everyone else in the year' is doing something fun/watching a film etc. Or 'nobody else' is having to write essays. Kids have a tendency to exaggerate a bit

[WonkoTheSane42]

Sometimes it's just getting the best ft kid for the part

Well, it shouldn't be. It should be about getting involved if you want to.

Hahahaha, fucking hell. Yeah, phone in and explain how the concept of a meritocracy is inherently unfair to your little snowflake. It'll give the teachers a laugh at break in the staff room.

[theduchessstill]

Maisy I'm a secondary school teacher and entirely agree with you. But ds is at primary and it is different. I agree with best kid for the big roles, but minor roles should be for those who want to join in. And ds is pretty good anyway, as I have said, it seems nonsensical that these Y4s were so much better in the role of 'fourth child on the boat.'

[NotYoda]

You don't know though. You weren't there and obviously you think your child was better because he's your child.

You also said he wanted a speaking part, but didn't get that so was up for a dance role

Maybe other children dance better

Give it up.

[NotYoda]

Anyhoo

I'm off now because this conversation seems to be entrenching your position

[Mummyoflittledragon]

So the teacher didn't tell him she wasn't impressed. That's different. I agree with Trifle then if you want to say anything, talk about the selection process so that your ds will know what to do/expect next year.

And perhaps get him involved with clubs so that he is less focused on what happens at school. Or even drama if that's what he wants to do. Just because he didn't impress a teacher, doesn't mean he's useless at drama.

[Trifleorbust]

You're quite derogatory about these other children, OP. I'm not sure the teacher is the one at fault here.

[theduchessstill]

FFs, I haven't said anything derogatory about the other children. I just mean in such minor roles, how can they have been so great? I mean what subtle nuances did they bring to 'third monkey on the tree'? And it's not fair that Y4s get parts when that has not previously been the case.

[EnjoyYourShitCake]

It is the same as the super soaker thread OP because you are not taking on board anything people are saying.

[nigelsbigface]

I have a similar situation with dd this week op. She is year 6 and was told that everyone who auditioned for a part would get a line in the leavers play. She is shy but really wanted to to do it-especially as her confidence was buoyed earlier in the year when she read at the Christmas church service and did really well.
She auditioned and they called her back to sing again (in front of all the other kids), and told her she did well-so she was really excited and thought she might be in with a shot.
Next day she came home sobbing.She has been given a non speaking part, one of only two kids in her year that tried out.Everyone else has at least one line.
Before everyone says it-she isn't an awful singer and she only really wanted one spoken line, anything really-not a major role.
She is absolutely shattered, and says she will never audition for anything like this again.
This stuff does matter to kids I think-and constantly being told you are good but not quite good enough isn't great for your self esteem.

I get that she isn't west end material.But this is a year 6 leavers play that they will now spend hours rehearsing for and she will have to sit there embarrassed with nothing to do really. Its not a broadway production and should imo be inclusive to some degree.

I am going in to school to speak to the teacher as it goes-as I am unhappy about the process and the way she was encouraged to try out (something that was difficult for her to find the courage to do) and promised a line at the end of it, only to find that that wasn't the case. I won't be asking them to change that outcome but I will be Pointing out that the way this has been done has been upsetting to her. I have never ever been in to school to complain about anything before and I am far from being 'that parent', but if that's what I'm labelled as then so be it I guess...you can all chuck as many biscuits at me as you want .

[Newtssuitcase]

I wouldn't say anything OP. In our school we had exactly this situation. One of my best friends was cross that her DS didn't get a part. She rang the school and complained and then (partly because its a fee paying school and they try very hard to accommodate parents) he ended up with one of the main roles. It was completely unfair since that role had already been allocated to another child who then had their part halved (they shared the part).

Drama is one of those things where you might not perform on the day of the audition/casting and then you simply won't get the part. It's great for building emotional resilience for that very reason. DS1 acts and I genuinely believe that getting the knock backs at auditions has made him a stronger person (although he's still slightly put out that despite currently being in the running for a hollywood movie he is "3rd monkey in the tree" in this year's school play !)

[NImbleJumper]

You know, it's just a school show for children aged around 9, 10 or 11. There will be other far more memorable & important events in your DS' life. He will not be scarred by this - but he will be if you go on about it and communicate to your DS the level of upsetness and almost obsession you're displaying here.

Maybe you're just off-loading here, but believe me, your DS will pick up on your arsiness. If I caught myself reacting the way you are at the moment, I'd try to stop & have a bit of reflection: why does it mean so much to me? What's underneath what most of us are seeing as an over-reaction?

[witsender]

I don't think you are being totally unreasonable. The rules have been changed half way through by saying yr 4s will now be involved. Of course that will make him feel pants, being passed over in favour of 'younger kids' (which is a big deal when you are that age) when it hasn't happened in the past.

I don't know what I would do though. If it was our old school (small, approachable, family like) I would have a quiet word with the class teacher. Not expecting anything to change, but just so that they know it has been noticed by the little chap. These things should be about inclusion, the class working together.

[AndieNZ]

I'm with you OP and don't understand why you are getting a bit of a hard time.

Excluding two children (who are eager for a part) from the production seems extremely harsh (especially at this age using feedback terms such as "unimpressed") and I would definitely need clarification on that.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing though (not that I think you would) but just a casual word about how the children have been selected. You could find that your child has somehow misunderstood the process, and is still down for being involved in the production in another way.