Trigger warning **Title edited by MNHQ** AIBU-partner watching incest porn

[Messymumof3]

found our this evening that my partner has been watching mother and son porn - he says it has been going on for a few months. If makes me feel physically sick. a part of me feels that it's just fantasy and that it doesn't mean anything but another part of me just wants him to just leave . I'm disgusted that he could even watch it . I'm so upset /sick but it sure if I'm over reacting and that it was just porn .

It's gross and deeply mysterious (I mean, WHY?) but as posters have said above, it's massively popular, and I have noticed on erotic fiction sites like Literotica there are billions of stories of that nature, so it's definitely a "mainstream" thing in porn/erotica, for whatever reason, and I certainly wouldn't contemplate leaving my husband for looking at/reading such content. I would definitely be judging the hell out of him and asking him to satisfy my curiosity about his motivations though. Serious WTAF.

I also might have massively missed the point (as it's clear a lot of posters on this thread have as well) but my limited understanding of it is that it's about mothers SEDUCING sons, not sons raping mothers. Which is very different. Freud would have loved it. Certainly if my DH was watching stuff like that, that is the direction my mind would be going in.

We have been talking about men wanting to have sex with their mothers for literally thousands of years. Did nobody on here do classics? Has nobody heard of the Oedipus complex?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex

(apologies - a couple of people mention Oedipus above)

Hang on, child abuse porn or 'step mother has sex with grown step son who is in reality a porn actor around her age' type porn? There's a difference. If it's the first one, that is NOT acceptable.
Also, what has been going on a few months, the watching porn or the getting off on mother/son porn? Was it just one video he watched on a legal site when watching other porn (hot step milf f**ks fit step son, or something equally as tacky) or is he literally searching for incestual porn, as there is also a difference.

The watching of porn wouldn't bother me as long as it wasn't affecting our relationship but if he is watching anything illegal or only getting off on mother/son porn then he's a pervert who needs help. Sorry!

"I don't feel I've over reacted . I've talked to him calmly and asked why etc."

But he's not going to be able to tell you. FFS what do you think he's going to say?

It turns him on. There's your answer. He is far from being the only one. This is a very common fantasy, by all accounts.

If you really can't look at him any more, then I guess the relationship is over.

"Did nobody on here do classics? Has nobody heard of the Oedipus complex?"

Icanteven no, you are literally the only person on here who went to school at all, actually. Even the numerous people on here who referenced the Oedipus Complex already are thick as shit.

Wouldn't bother me.

Someone watching child abuse - different of course.

Watching adult porn actors/actresses acting out being the mother, the plumber, the boss, the pool cleaner, the step father ect - it's just literally fantasy. I'm sure he doesn't want to shag his mum, or one of his kids OP. Any more than he wants to have or be had by the plumber or the window cleaner next time you need one.

DeadGood Which I noted with apologies immediately after I posted and saw the references in the posts above. I'm surprised at the outrage on here as if many people had never heard of this well-established set of fantasies ever before in their entire lives, that's all. There's no need to jump all over me.

I think you're MASSIVELY overreacting (along with a lot of posters on this thread). You don't want him around your children right now? Why not? What do think he's going to do?

If he's watching that kind of porn, (which features consenting adults who are acting and not related) he probably just enjoys watching older women with younger men, and that's the scenario that allows him to indulge in that fantasy. It doesn't mean he actually gets off on the idea of a real-life mother and her son having sex (which of course is horrible).

It certainly doesn't mean he's some kind of sick pervert who wants have sex with his mother or a child ffs.

I feel sorry for him if you judge him this harshly over a watching a bit of porn. But then, MN seems to be full of women who would leave their husbands for watching it

Many things I could get over but some things such as this I would always being feeling "urrrgh" about. I have had similar from a previous partner before DH and our lovely baby.Couldnt go near him and ended it

I feel a lot better after having slept on this obviously I'm not going to leave him as he is a great husband and father to our kids . I am still a bit uncomfortable about his viewing of this porn but i know that's my issue to deal with .

It's not really your issue to deal with. It's ok to not want to watch porn and to not want to be with someone who watches porn. Not wanting to watch porn doesn't make you prudish.

Are you happy to accept that he will continue to watch porn in general?

For me the issue would be him fantasising about it when you're having sex, playing out what he's watched.
Gross and incredibly insulting.

Thanks everyone for replying it really has helped having different opinions on this .

I'm ok with him watching porn it's be genre that has left me feeling uneasy

It's highly likely your dh has a porn addiction. Porn addicts become numb to 'regular' porn amd seek out other things to get off. He needs help.

That's a bit of a sweeping statement Whatsername! How on earth can you tell that the OPs DH has a porn addiction from the limited info we have!? I enjoy porn, maybe I have one too?!

Or, like a previous poster has suggested, he likes watching an older woman with a younger man and this is the type of video that enables it. I would be pretty sure he doesn't actually want to have sex with his mother!!

I don't think it's that much of sweeping statement Orlando- one of the hallmarks of porn addiction is a need to raise the stakes, increase the level of taboo/shock value to maintain the level of hit. Incest porn could be seen as just such a thing, as a sign he's getting desensitised and needs to raise the stakes.

To be honest, I think the ever increasing extremes -depths of depravity-- of what is considered mainstream porn seems to show that dynamic of an addiction ladder/ratchet very well.

The suggestion that he has a porn addiction is ludacrous. Incest porn has a shocking name, but is not shocking itself. Its normal shagging but they're playing characters. Violent or hardcore porn is far more concerning.

Well, it's not really incest, is it? It's just porn. They're acting.

(or what the woman above me who types more quickly said)

Guessing none of the people who are outraged watch game of thrones?

If he was watching father/daughter I think I would be a bit concerned. Watching mother/son is not at all concerning to me. It just means there is an element of wanting to be nurtured and comforted about his sexual desires.

Morphene what is the difference between 'father/daughter' and 'mother/son' to you?
Presumably you would consider them equally wrong if they happened in real life, so why do you consider them different in porn?
Just interested.

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Incest porn is V prevalent and popular. Wouldn't bother me. What did he say about it? Would he watch just regular porn if you asked?