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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trigger warning **Title edited by MNHQ** AIBU-partner watching incest porn

193 replies

Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 21:31

found our this evening that my partner has been watching mother and son porn - he says it has been going on for a few months. If makes me feel physically sick. a part of me feels that it's just fantasy and that it doesn't mean anything but another part of me just wants him to just leave . I'm disgusted that he could even watch it . I'm so upset /sick but it sure if I'm over reacting and that it was just porn .

OP posts:
Camelsinthegobi · 23/05/2017 21:44

Child porn in illegal and far worse than adult to adult porn. But incest porn sounds nasty. Maybe try counselling? I'd worry about him watching it, even if he said he'd stopped, though.

Crunchymum · 23/05/2017 21:45

Why did it come to light it was incest porn OP?

FlossyMooToo · 23/05/2017 21:45

Camel no such thing as child porn.
Its child abuse.

TheWitTank · 23/05/2017 21:46

Ewww Imperial, really!? That's disturbing!

NellieFiveBellies · 23/05/2017 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWitTank · 23/05/2017 21:48

Clearly bullshit on the "it's just porn" line op -as you say, there is endless straightforward sex porn out there very accessible.

Original poster
Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 21:48

Crunchymum-I was using his phone to google something -when it came up in the search engine bar I thought that had to be wrong so I went into his internet history and confronted him

OP posts:
SuperintendentChalmers · 23/05/2017 21:48

I don't think you should leave your husband. It's a fictional premise in pornography, that's all. He probably doesn't even think about it outside of watching it.

If you tell him you have a problem and he continues to do it, then that's a different kettle of fish altogether. I wouldn't leave him just for watching the porn. Yeah it's a bit odd but it's not illegal and definitely not divorce worthy...

MuvaWifey77 · 23/05/2017 21:48

Sorry I'm I the only one who wants to clarify something here ...? Is the porn vídeos of actual incest or just role play ? Older man with young girl ,vice Versa? Because if that's all it is it's not reasonable to be angry. Most men have fetish with younger girls , some with older and like to watch them with young boys . The "boys" and "girls" on those videos are all over 30s and look young that's all.

Original poster
Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 21:49

Wittank-exactly . It's disgusting -absolutely disgusting .honestly I can't even look at him

OP posts:
HildaOg · 23/05/2017 21:50

It's adult porn with really bad acting. The step parent/sibling ones are among the most popular... The pretence of real parent/sibling ones are hugely popular too.

It's a sick fantasy but lots of porn is. There's no real relatives involved. It doesn't mean he's going to want to go fuck his mother afterwards. Porn is fantasy, not reality.

SuperintendentChalmers · 23/05/2017 21:52

OP did you watch it? Or just go off the title? As @Muva said, it's not actually incest. It's basically just the same old two people shagging porn with a different title. If the videos didn't have titles you'd literally have no idea it was any different to "normal" porn. I understand the concept is weird to you, but I can't believe there are people here saying you should divorce your husband and break up your family over it.

Original poster
Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 21:55

Super I didn't actually watch it no . The one part of me is like ok we can deal with this it's just fantasy porn but the mother part of me just wants to scream

OP posts:
SweetLuck · 23/05/2017 21:58

It's not nice, but it wouldn't be a sackable offence for me either. I wouldn't leave someone because of their fantasies.

singymummy · 23/05/2017 21:59

I would look into Oedipus complex OP.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 23/05/2017 21:59

There is a book by a woman called Nancy Friday where women confes their secret fantasies . It's called 'my secret garden ' - it's quite famous

Anyway pretty much every taboo gets covered there - including incest !

I am not defending him - bit people do have some twisted fantasies I am afraid

Only you can judge and really he needs to stop pandering and watching this .

Just an alternative view here .....

slithytove · 23/05/2017 22:00

Horrendous. I would be questioning how he views his mum, how he views you and any sons you have, or god forbid him and any daughters.

This would be a pretty much immediate deal breaker for me, in fact I feel sick at the thought and it's not even my husband.

Original poster
Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 22:01

Thank you everyone for talking to me about this, I can't even discuss this with my oldest friends as I'm so ashamed

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 23/05/2017 22:02

I just couldn't get past it -it's like rape fantasy porn. It doesn't matter if it is pretend, the concept is fucking disgusting.

2cats2many · 23/05/2017 22:05

Some women fantasise about being raped and watch/read porn of that genre. It doesn't mean they actually want to be raped in real life though. It's just an erotic fantasy.

Incest porn certainly isn't my cup of tea, but it's just a fantasy.

How did you find out?

RainbowJack · 23/05/2017 22:05

If you're with someone you accept watches porn then I think you're being quite naive.

I remember reading it's one of the most popular searches.

Quick google: www.pornhub.com/insights/2016-year-in-review

Familial related searches are quite high across countries.

Original poster
Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 22:05

Wit tank -I don't think I'll be ever able to get past it . It's always going to be in the back of my mind .

OP posts:
Excited101 · 23/05/2017 22:07

You need to talk to him op, I really don't think this is such a big deal personally. I don't think it has to reflect his relationships with any of his relatives.

It's probably about it being a bit 'naughty' in the same way that porn featuring affairs, teacher/student, boss/employee relationships are. Things being 'a bit naughty' appeal to a lot of people. It's (bad) acting, I really do think you're overreacting.

Isadora2007 · 23/05/2017 22:07

Is it hugely different from the "daddy" and "little girl" porn though? Grown women getting spanked and acting all coy and girly with a man and calling him daddy etc?
It's not that bad and does actually mean that girl is pretending to fuck her dad.

What do you think the act of sucking boobs is alluding to? It's breastfeeding of course- so in most healthy sexual relationships (heterosexual anyway) there is a aspect of parent-child that is actually normal.

Stop overreacting and start communicating.

SuperintendentChalmers · 23/05/2017 22:09

It is definitely an overreaction, it's not like he is about to go and shag his mother... sorry to be vulgar but he'll finish off and forget it existed until next time