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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trigger warning **Title edited by MNHQ** AIBU-partner watching incest porn

193 replies

Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 21:31

found our this evening that my partner has been watching mother and son porn - he says it has been going on for a few months. If makes me feel physically sick. a part of me feels that it's just fantasy and that it doesn't mean anything but another part of me just wants him to just leave . I'm disgusted that he could even watch it . I'm so upset /sick but it sure if I'm over reacting and that it was just porn .

OP posts:
Messymumof3 · 23/05/2017 22:38

Thank you everyone for your replies - i will be back on in the morning . I'm just going to have a shower and then go to bed. He's sleeping downstairs this eve (he offered ).

OP posts:
LoupGarou · 23/05/2017 22:38

No worries, butter fingers are catching Wink xxx

StillHungryy · 23/05/2017 22:39

I'm pretty sure this is becoming one of the biggest categories with a lot of older/ younger pairings defaulting to incest type videos. It's creepy but the trend and sheer amount shows that it is in fact normal

Getoffthetableplease · 23/05/2017 22:39

Shocked at the amount of people saying it's like watching abuse or rape Shock! It's a fantasy story of consenting adults! Certainly not my cup of tea, makes me feel queasy thinking about it tbh but different strokes for different folks and once agajn consenting adults, keep it in context people! I'd let him know your feelings on it and go from there

ParmaViolets17 · 23/05/2017 22:40

I don't know how much detail you can bear to go into with him, OP, but some people get off solely on the taboo nature of a thing. It might not be the incest fantasy per se, but more the 'forbiddenness' of it. He might equally like other things that are 'wrong' but easier to think about - e.g. sex where there's a risk of getting caught.

Or it might be a fantasy about older women being in control - which is how it is for a lot of men and women who have the 'daddy and little girl' fantasy.

Just a thought. Hope you find a way to get through this.

DixieFlatline · 23/05/2017 22:48

Shocked at the amount of people saying it's like watching abuse or rape

Plenty of people are of the opinion that watching porn literally is watching abuse or rape. Or as good as, for all you know as a viewer.

blue2014 · 23/05/2017 22:52

There is some evidence to suggest men can become 'immune' to 'normal' porn and there is so much of it around that taboo porn is becoming more and more 'mainstream' - I suspect that's happened to him. You could ask if this is what he's always been into or whether he's needed it as other porn has lost its edge.

Think of how normal 50 shades is to us now? 30 years ago that would have been a taboo underground thing.

I do understand your shock and it would weird me out too but I suspect it's not a reflection on his views on his own mother or you.

Sorry you are dealing with this - hope you manage to sleep x

Funnyfarmer · 23/05/2017 22:52

Has be actually put "mother and son porn"
Is his search engine?
If I Google "porn" or any kind of porn it automatically deletes itself of my phone. It's never in my history. I've not changed any settings it just dose it.
If I'm browsing through porn. I don't really look at the title. I just think 'oh that looks good' and click the title could be 'granny and the hamster' wouldn't matter. What you actually watch is actors. They all have wierd titles but pretty much the same old porn.
So I have to agree with. "It's just porn'

Atenco · 23/05/2017 22:53

It's a fantasy story of consenting adults

Well personally I wouldn't want anyone who bought into the porn industry and the consenting parts I have serious queries about. There are probably drugs involved at the very least.

Orlandointhewilderness · 23/05/2017 22:55

I'm not entirely sure what him having a child has to do with watching to adult porn actors!?!? Watching porn does not turn someone into a paedophile.
I'm going with it's just porn. LTB seems very over the top to me.

TheWitTank · 23/05/2017 23:00

Everyone has different tolerance for things like this. Personally it isn't something I'm ok with. If someone else is that is ok too. It doesn't mean one is right or wrong, just that opinions are different. It makes me feel very queasy and uncomfortable.

Aridane · 23/05/2017 23:10

There was a thread a little while back,about this porn but the other way roundn(father / daughter) - part from one lone voice poster, it was a unanimous LTB

MilesHuntsWig · 23/05/2017 23:11

Personally I'd be extremely uncomfortable with this

MooMooCat · 23/05/2017 23:16

That would be a deal-breaker for me. It's gross.

danadas · 23/05/2017 23:43

It's not just men - there are women who get off on the incest and non consent stuff. Porn isn't my thing but I wouldn't automatically assume that he is a danger to your child.

Pretty much all fantasies boil down to dominating someone or being dominated. The categories are just different ways of portraying that fantasy.

ThePants999 · 24/05/2017 00:00

Just to highlight: because the incest taboo is popular, pretty much any porn featuring an older woman and younger man gets listed with a "mother/son" title these days, even if that wasn't the intention when it was filmed. Pretty meaningless IMO.

RhythmAndStealth · 24/05/2017 00:03

Boak.

I don't care if it's "normal" or "default" now.

Says something really sad about our society if this kind of thing is just seen as some titilating harmless boundary pushing now.

The pornification of our culture is frankly horrifying.

HappyLollipop · 24/05/2017 00:10

It's just porn tbh, it wouldn't really bother me but everyone's tolerance levels are different. It's only fantasy, a bit taboo but it's still fantasy none the less!

araiwa · 24/05/2017 02:34

you can see the exact same porn movie on 2 different sites. on one it will be labelled man has sex with woman, on the other incest- brother and sister have sex

no actual incest takes place, its just a name. no children either

yayayahey · 24/05/2017 03:13

If I found dh watching this repeatedly the marriage would be over. I don't care that it's just a fantasy, I'd not want to set eyes on him ever again. The thought of him touching me would make me physically sick.

How people can say rape porn is awful but this is ok is really really odd in my mind.

yayayahey · 24/05/2017 03:16

It's not about what's real. It's about someone consistently watching the mothers fucking sons story lines and getting off on that precise aspect.

How so many of you would be ok with this and think it's prudish not to be is deeply disturbing.

SomeOtherFuckers · 24/05/2017 03:31

I mean it's a bit gross, but logically he knows the actors are not really related ... honestly I wouldn't really know what to do but I don't think I could leave my loved one for it. Then again I'm not in the situation and maybe I would ...

thethoughtfox · 24/05/2017 08:07

This is disturbing.

Herbie22 · 24/05/2017 08:09

Do you really want to leave the father of your children because of a dirty clip on the internet? Think about all that "LTB" actually entails. Is it worth it?

Looneytune253 · 24/05/2017 08:14

To be fair on these porn sites half the titles are mum and son, dad and daughter, brother and sister. They're obv not but that's what people like to think. Not my cup of tea but it's obv populate since most of the videos are titled that way. I wouldn't look into it too much tbh.