That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

EllenMP that's fine if you have a mate the same size or you can borrow a dress but what if you can't?????
I'd be telling the brother no sorry can't afford another dress this is the dress I bought for the wedding this is the one I'm wearing

Sorry haven't managed to wade through the whole thread. Wear the dress, it's pretty. Accessorise with something bright. She sounds like a piece of work.

I don't know why you would choose to wear black with lace to a wedding, especially not your brother's, when you know your sister-in-law would prefer you not to.

I was brought up to believe, like many on here, that it is the height of bad manners to wear black, in any form including bag or shoes, to a wedding. It shows that you do not approve of the wedding and wish them both a painful death in the near future with strong curses

There are some seriously weird opinions on here. I can't see any problem with a black dress - far nicer than the hideous peach, lilac, pastel numbers.

Would never wear an all black dress to a wedding

I wore a black velvet dress to my own.

The OP's dress is lovely.

No curses or bad luck here for wearing black.

I was just brought up to think it's odd to dress to a wedding how you would a funeral.
Black and print dress? Fine.
Black floaty dress with coloured accents? Fine.

Heavy black dress? Not fine.
All black? Not fine.

OP dress is lovely, but it's certainly not a wedding guest dress to me. It would need some serious accessorising for me.

Wearing plain black or plain white to a wedding is a bit odd, IMHO. Have you got a summery type of dress that you could jazz up with a few accessories to save buying a whole new outfit?

I've only got to page 6 but the posts are getting weirder and weirder. There is no way the OP's dress is funereal. You would never wear something as light and floaty as that to a funeral.

Re other options there is nothing wrong with either the cream or the navy outfit. They are both lovely and infinitely preferable to hideous pastels.

And the navy dress is beautiful.

Wear your dress.

Guests at Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch's and Camilla and Charles' weddings must have missed the "don't wear black or navy memo"

And these.

Oops no pictures

I wore black to my sisters wedding I was a bridesmaid,,,,,, her dress was white with black detail

When it comes to traditional weddings, though, women can wear anything they like except all white and all black. Men wear grey morning coats.

That's just not true. Women and men alike would face the same raised eyebrows for turning up in jeans and a t shirt, for example.

I have seriously never heard that men were supposed to wear grey suits for weddings before. I would have said any coloured suit trousers + shirt + jacket.

Probably + tie as well, but then my DP has a thing about ties and refuses to wear them unless under extreme duress.

I would love to see a thread where someone was upset because a male guest didn't wear a tie or a light-coloured enough suit to a wedding. To my mind women are simply more scrutinised and criticised when it comes to matters of appearance.

I wear black ALL THE TIME! The only time I've never worn black is to my own wedding!! And people were surprised I went with a traditional ivory dress . I didn't mind what people wore to my wedding as long as it was not scruffy. I did, however have a problem with my Step Mother who actually wore a white outfit. Everyone knows that only the Bride wears white. poopsqueak wear the dress and don't worry about what the bride says.

Would you wear something like this op, if you feel like looking at a back up? Not saying you should...

I haven't been to a formal wear wedding for twenty or thirty years (and even then they were very unusual, I doubt very much that very many men own tails anymore) and I can't see the relevance to this thread, for one thing it's a late afternoon wedding, so obviously no one would be wearing a morning suit. A little black number for an evening party is the standard for many women, hardly surprising if some choose to wear one.

My mother wore bright pink for my wedding. She really didn't want me to marry dh, the pink made very little difference (she wore the same dress to a number of weddings and parties). I wore a LBN to my brother's wedding, I love his wife and was very very happy they were getting married. I've also never worn black to a funeral, always worn navy which for some reason on this thread has been deemed perfectly acceptable for a wedding.

Navy is fine, all black is not. Wear it if you want but you'll get some very looks.

And come on, pp's photos of celebs wearing posh, sleek, structured black/multi outfit is not the same as the floaty gypsy style thing op is wearing

Many people (including me) would find a black dress an odd choice for a summer wedding. Personally I would not want to be deliberately causing upset on DB's wedding day and so would go along with request.

And come on, pp's photos of celebs wearing posh, sleek, structured black/multi outfit is not the same as the floaty gypsy style thing op is wearing

Why is it not the same? The OP's dress is a "dressy" dress- it's not an every day dress one would wear to go to work or do the school run in or go to the supermarket in.

Poor OP's dress has been called bridal, funereal, goth, Morticia Adams, gypsy, floaty, heavy and whoreish.

I think this dress has an identify crisis!!!

But if you want to get off on the wrong foot with your future SIL and therefore alienate your brother go ahead and wear it. I don't like the dress personally but you certainly won't fade into the background in it.

They don't seem worried about alienating her, her mother, her aunts or her cousins by demanding they all find new outfits in a specific colour palette two weeks before the wedding...

I'm by no means a royalist but I am happy to use Kate Middleton in her black dress, black shoes and black and white hat at Camilla and Charles' wedding as the unbeatable trump card that you can wear black at a wedding.

They should have sent out an invite with their colour scheme on it if they cared that much. Turquoise was the last one I went to. Mine will be purple.

Wear it. Too late now.

'No black' is very easy to put on an invite...