That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

If you'd said you were going to turn up in a pair of trackie bottoms and trainers I'd understand but a black dress??? If they want to pay for another dress fine, if not, wear what you've got. It can't be that awful at £150! Your brother is right to be sheepish. Don't discuss it, just turn up.

You shouldn't wear black to weddings. I'm amazed how many people think this is acceptable?

A cousin of mine turned up at my wedding in jeans and a jumper! Much worse than a black dress eh?!

Dominos sounds good. One of my cousins got married at 12.30 ish. I was concerned and asked about food as I was concerned. We were fed twice. Once around 4.30 then again a buffet in the evening. It was fab.

Totally ridiculous- she is v unreasonable and unrealistic. If she wants you to change, she has to pay.

my daughter has bought a black dress for her brothers wedding although not compleatly black wedding is in October but she has bought a grey one as well, got them from everything a £5 go and have a look you might find something and if they don't like it say that was all you could afford

"flapinko" Totally agree. I too wonder what century these women live in spouting out their own rules about what colour you can and can't wear to a wedding.

I don't know anyone who is as small minded as that in real life.

Black is generally considered more of a funeral colour and could be misinterpreted by other guests, seems a bit antongonistic. I'd wear another dress, it certainly doesn't need to be new. Charity shop, borrow, something you have already?

I agree with the view that black isn't for weddings, as it's traditionally a funeral colour. There are so many other colours to choose from.

I've never heard of anyone telling their guests about a colour scheme. Colour schemes (if used) are normally just for the bridal party, and possibly the Mothers of the Bride(s)/Groom(s) confer too. It's too bridezilla to suggest to guests that their "Sunday best" isn't good enough and now they have to buy something in the "correct" colour as well!

"flapinko" Totally agree. I too wonder what century these women live in spouting out their own rules about what colour you can and can't wear to a wedding.

I don't know anyone who is as small minded as that in real life.

Oh well, you spent a lot of money on the dress you might as well wear it. Or I heard Debenhams are selling off wedding and bridesmaid dresses from around £40 quid if you sil doesn't want you to fade into the background.

Whereas I agree with most that a black dress is an odd choice for any a Summer wedding in the UK, it is irrelevant now as people who are buying new outfits will obviously have already got them, and your brother would have got very short shrift from me if, 2 weeks before the wedding, he started trying to dictate what I was wearing.
tbh, he would have got short shrift from me if he'd tried to dictate what I was wearing a year ago - pastels tend to 'drain' my colour and make me look ill. I'd have explained to him that either he is inviting people to come and share their happy day, or he is putting on some sort of a play, which is a very different thing.
However, by now, there is no way ANYONE should be changing their outfits.

chickpeaburger do you ignore every social convention? Would you wear bright orange to a funeral, a bikini to work, or a frumpy frock to go clubbing?

epi
I doubt people would deliberately wear something horrifically odd to work or anything because that would make a show of themselves but they feel thay as far as tradition is concerned their desire to wear black to a wedding means the world should just ignore years of tradition because their dress is the most important part of the day and it would be such an effort to wear any other colour.

I'm not one for prescriptive rules on things and even I know that whilst you can just about get away with a floaty black dress accessorised with colour, a black lace dress like the OP got is not a wedding outfit dress.

Also think it's rude to wear black sorry.
Maybe it's time u started wearing some colour anyway? Boohoo are really cheap for dresses. X

Most people would agree that black is not commonly associated with wedding attire. Seriously though who the hell would not like people to feel free to wear what they want and just enjoy the day. As others have said it's not like the guest is trying to sabotage a theme or has a 'role'. Is there a history of difficult relations? Is it possible the guest chose black as a 'protest'? I know friends who don't conform and would wear black without any agenda. I understand that others may be doing it in a passive aggressive way. Only the people involved know the answer to this. If it's the former the bride is being unreasonable and if it the latter the guest is - rather simple really. As it's a family member I suspect the original poster knows he answer herself

I wore an all black dress to my sisters second wedding. It was lace later on top of a second layer that was all beaded and a bit sparkly as well though. I got a lot of compliments. Even my sister said it was stunning and that shocked me.

See I wouldn't think black was rude or a sign you didn't support the wedding etc. I'd just think it was a weird choice for a wedding and unless it was accessorised with colour I'd find it a bit 'adult doesn't get wedding dress'. I'd notice someone in all black more than anything else because it's odd.

Jane Matthews, the groom's mum wore a very elegant white coat dress.

Do you think anyone mistook her for the bride?!

I wore all black (cocktail dress) when I was my sister's bridesmaid and our mother wore all black to both of our weddings and none of us hate each other or the grooms!

Personally I think most wedding style dresses and colours are horrible and most women look really uncomfortable in them and the heels they are not used to wearing. Wear what looks good, makes you feel good and that you are comfortable in. For what it's worth the dress you have picked OP is lovely.

Maybe it's time u started wearing some colour anyway? Boohoo are really cheap for dresses. X

1. The word is 'you', not 'u', this is not a text.
2. No need to end with an X, again, this is not a text.
3. I would have glossed over all this bollocks had you not decided that it is appropriate for you to tell the OP that she needs to wear some colour. What the actual fuck?

As long as you look like you made an effort to dress nicely, there's nothing wrong with a black dress. I don't get all the stupid dress codes for weddings in this country. Wear what you want.

I was always told if you wear black to wedding the you slept with the groom!😱😂😂😂😂😂

Sign a thread is losing momentum-when it comes down to posters correcting other posters in their spelling and grammar.

I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks, and have bought the first dress I'll have worn in many years. It's got a white background, with a black and red floral pattern. It does actually look nice and summery.

I went to a wedding a few years ago, where a guest wore nice summery colours. Shame it was a sheer pink vest, with tiny black lace shorts.

It's not always the colour that's the problem, but the style of clothing.