DH charging DD to swap plane seats??

[DayDreamer17]

DD is 21 so I know she is an adult, etc.
DH has a plane seat that's near the window and DD lost Rock Paper Scissors they both want to sit there. They have now come to an agreement that she will pay £20. AIBU to think this is really nasty of DH?

FV45 You should sit in your allocated seat for take-off and landing so that in the event of a crash (those are the riskiest times) the airline know who was in which seat. Useful for passenger tally.

That is categorically not true.

For full, large jumbo jets, there's enough averaging and randomness to ensure that the plane is balanced, although I'm sure the crew have a general look to make sure that one side isn't full of people who are visibly much larger than those on the other side.

Nope, the crew do no such thing

If you don't want to be disturbed by the crew, your best bet is to put headphones on and close your eyes.....

Bold fail above, sorry......

We flew the other day and the air hostess told us we should change seats so we could all sit together. This was before take off even.

People would be ourtaged if an airline charged a passenger an extra £20 to sit in the window seat
I'd pay £20 for a window seat! There's not much I would normally pay for as extras as I'm quite a cheapskate normally, but I love identifying locations we fly over. (Of course if I did, you could guarantee clouds all the way)

GreenShadow OK, but if a family or a party of three were sitting in adjacent seats, would you expect the one who was in the window seat to automatically have to pay £20 extra? Yet the OP's husband has actually taken £20 from his own daughter who had a valid reason for needing to sit by the window. That is what I think is appalling. His nasty, money-grabbing behaviour towards his own daughter who is a student, has an anxiety problem and he didn't even pay for his flight!

I'm amazed at how people are reacting to this. I must be imagining a totally different scenario to most people. The girl and her dad were playing paper, scissors, stone for the window seat, she lost and her dad offered to sell it to her for £20. Exactly the sort of scenario I can imagine happening in my family - bit of fun. He may not even have taken the money, or might have given it back later. It wasn't as it if she was pleading with her dad for the seat because she felt anxious and he said no - the OP only mentioned that later.

Maybe he was a bit over the top but I can't believe people are telling the OP she should leave her DH over it! I sometimes think I live in a different world to some Mumsnetters.......

I should probably have mentioned that I suffer from anxiety and there are some situations I cannot deal with - lest I am seen as unsympathetic. But I believe if this was really about the daughter's anxiety it would have been addressed earlier when booking and allocating seats

Completely agree Christopher, for people to say the DH must have a control issue is ridiculous as I said earlier, and agree with the seats I would always sort this prior to even arriving at the airport!

Well this is ridiculous. First of all, why does the OP describe herself as having paid for the flights out of "her" money? confused Surely if they are married all the money is one and the same anyway?

The norm amongst people I know (DH and I included) is to have personal accounts for wages/salary, then a joint account for household expenditure. A set amount is transferred from personal money to joint account every month.

It shouldn't be difficult to appreciate that not all couples have one joint account and that is it .

My DD has anxiety. My own DH would cut off his right leg rather than ask our DD to pay £20 for a window seat.

Anxiety is real, it is debilitating, and it sucks. OP your DH is being VVVU.

Don't sweat it! I don't think it's very nice and I know my DH wouldn't do that - but you can give her £20 on the quiet then no harm done??

21 is agrown up. What's going to happen when she is at work and she can't get her own way. I think your DH is teaching her a valuable lesson and it's nothing to do with you. Let her sort it out.

I'm genuinely shocked (meaning not just saying I'm shocked for hyperbole...) at the ignorance around anxiety on this thread. I'm very comfortable these days saying, "I have anxiety" because it seems to be generally understood.

But apparently there are still plenty of educated people who think we just need to toughen up, face our fears, stop being special snowflakes, and get over it.

Shame.

I'm guessing he wouldn't actually take the money?
As when DS2 lost a million pounds playing poker with DH.

I have anxiety, panic attacks, palpitations and a general lack of confidence. I also have three children and am single mother working full time and then some to provide for us all with no benefits or CSM. I have to suck it up, get over myself and carry on, there is no option for me. I crumble, we all suffer. Necessity is a powerful driver.

No, I wouldn't take money from my kids so they can have their preferred seat. I might tease them and say I was going to, but no.

Good for you lillithxxx.

I used to be on Fluoxetine and could have sat on the fucking wing and not been bothered. But it's different for everyone...

Your DH doesn't seem to believe your daughter is ill, or at least not as ill as you do. Did you ask him why he chose to charge his daughter for the window seat?

I don't suffer from anxiety but I do get very anxious when flying and one of the things that sets it off is being in the window or middle seat.i need to be sitting at the aisle and a lovely fellow passenger saw my panic on a flight last year and very kindly offered to swap with me. I was 100% convinced I'd booked the aisle

Wouldn't take money off my child in a million years unless they had borrowed from me

I think your DH is a knob

Christ, tell them they can each have a bloody turn.

YOU BUNCH OF F sorry but some people responses on here.do you know if this is an anxiety problem then anxiety is a disabling illness! and some people responses to that and this dd issues is horrendous.
I no some people on mental health can be a bit here and there.but this thread take the fecking biscuit.
anxiety isn't rational.it could tell you the bug in the road is watching you.it could tell you in an empty room the spiders are laughing at you.it can tell you a window seat might just ease having to be so close to someone walking I nthe aisle or "what if he needs the loo and talked to me to get up"shit feeling.
it makes you want to jump off a cliff rather than face things that seemingly to other hold no reason to be scared over.a nudge can trigger all sorts of irrational things in the mind. it can be to do with ptsd past issue current issie or simply just anxious feeling right here and now.all in all though it feel like someone is taking a jackhammer to your head and muddling all rational sense then sitting an elephant on your chest and telling you "run,go on run"
its never easy to just get over it.you can just suck it up!!
I cant believe even the lack of human kindness whether she has a serious illness or not.eeek.
never felt this way bout mumsnet before.

She played the game and lost. He's teaching her a valuable lesson that things are not handed to adults on a plate. You earn them or buy them. Get off your high horse and praise him for raising a responsible adult, not an entitled brat.

He's teaching her a valuable lesson indeed he is. that things are not handed to adults on a plate.. That's not it!