DH charging DD to swap plane seats??

[DayDreamer17]

DD is 21 so I know she is an adult, etc.
DH has a plane seat that's near the window and DD lost Rock Paper Scissors they both want to sit there. They have now come to an agreement that she will pay £20. AIBU to think this is really nasty of DH?

They don't notice or care who is in the 'correct' seat within groups, especially if the plane is anywhere near full. DP and I never look to see which is my seat and which is his seat, so the odds are that we get it wrong half the time.

Most people are probably the same - they'll just seat their group randomly on their seats, unless they have people with a particular desire for a window or aisle seat.

Whether I paid or not, our DC would not be charged £20 to change seats. Give the cash straight back to her. Your DH, IF he goes through with taking the money, is being a twat.

Fluffypinkpyjamas "Give the cash straight back to her."

Why should the OP be £20 out of pocket when she's already paid for everyon'es flights? He shouldn't take the £20 in the first place IMO.

Your DH sounds a bit pathetic, if it bothers your DD why would he not just let her sit there?

Is he normally a considerate parent?

Sod it! Sorry for the misplaced apostrophe above. Typing quickly without my glasses.

Nothing wrong with playing rock paper sissors to decide who gets the window seat, but exchanging money over the issue is a bit weird.

They don't notice or care who is in the 'correct' seat within groups, especially if the plane is anywhere near full. DP and I never look to see which is my seat and which is his seat, so the odds are that we get it wrong half the time.

You should sit in your allocated seat for take-off and landing so that in the event of a crash (those are the riskiest times) the airline know who was in which seat. Useful for passenger tally.

Think about it.....

Banf I meant take it off him and give it back to her. I do find it odd when married couples have separate finances to be honest. But that is another subject entirely.

He really is a bellend.

MaQueen Whatever next! Our children should drag us onto Jezza Kyle.

I'm sure I've missed a step here so just checking -
Your DH and DD both wanted the window seat, your DH was allocated it.
They did rock paper scissors to decide in a friendly fashion and your DH won, thus keeping the seat.
Your DD really really wants it to avoid being interrupted by people needing the loo and air stewards, so she begged your DH to swap and he said only if you pay me £20?

Yes, I think HWBU and mean. And no, I couldn't have done it to her either.

Surely the outcome of RPS would determine it, without any need to pay £20 as well

Fluffypinkpyjamas Oh I see! Sorry. Well, I doubt he'd give it to the OP, since he regards it as his compensation for not having the window seat.

Your husband acted meanly and I find his behaviour controlling towards your daughter, it's a red flag to me.

Nautical, seriously?! Maybe a bit of an ass move (although I'm undecided on that) but hardly controlling and red flag, jeez chill out!! I don't think that's what the OP was suggesting!!

FurryLittleTwerp Yes but the daughter lost RWS, so he demanded she pay him £20 to sit there, since it was really important to her, due to her anxiety.

£20 is too steep for a student though - a token 50p would be much more reasonable...

They don't notice or care who is in the 'correct' seat within groups, especially if the plane is anywhere near full. DP and I never look to see which is my seat and which is his seat, so the odds are that we get it wrong half the time

You should sit in your allocated seat for take-off and landing so that in the event of a crash (those are the riskiest times) the airline know who was in which seat. Useful for passenger tally

I think that they will use something a little more conclusive like DNA, dental records and a general description of our charred remains to differentiate between me and DP should the worst happen, rather than where we were sitting before the plane got broken up into millions of pieces.

It's only small or underoccupied planes where they care where you sit for balance/safety reasons. For full, large jumbo jets, there's enough averaging and randomness to ensure that the plane is balanced, although I'm sure the crew have a general look to make sure that one side isn't full of people who are visibly much larger than those on the other side.

For very small planes, they need to know whether you are male or female because on average, a group of men will weigh more than a group of women and I have seen people being asked to move on small planes with lots of spare seats if the plane didn't look balanced.

If her anxiety is as bad as that, how would she have coped if none of you had been allocated a window seat? She sounds a bit spoilt - she lost rock paper scissors and could have just accepted it with grace. I think its fine that he charged her, to teach her that you can't have everything you want as soon as you stamp your foot. If she travels with colleagues at some point when she's working, she won't always have her way either.

I love the window seat, I'll pay extra to have the window seat.

If my child wanted it, 2 or 22, they could have it. Last flight I gave it to a 8 yo girl who I didn't even know because I overheard her saying she was sad they hadn't been able to book me as she really wanted to see out (her first flight too). The flight before that I gave up my aisle seat for a seat (in the middle, a few rows away) to a teenager who was anxious not be be sat with his Dad. He was about 16, but looked scared.

It's your DD (his DD or not, I'm not sure) and she has anxiety he is a total wanker. An utter cunt - I'd be evaluating my relationship.

My lovely dad would never have behaved like that.
He was a gentleman and he loved me.
You daughter is still young but I bet she is more mature that her father.
I'm really struggling to understand the father/daughter dynamic in your family.
Do they treat each other more like siblings?

Why did your DH want the window seat, OP?

Um, can't her Dad just be a normal Dad, like a nice human being who loves his kids best of all no matter if they are 12 or 50, and let her have the seat and forget about any £20? Some of these answers beggar belief!

^^ THIS

He sounds like a tiring, arse of a man. Is everything with him a competition or battle ? Does he always have to win things, do people always have to pay him for kindness ?

I'm just hoping one day your DD realises that your DH causes too much stress and walks away to stop the rot.