DH charging DD to swap plane seats??

[DayDreamer17]

DD is 21 so I know she is an adult, etc.
DH has a plane seat that's near the window and DD lost Rock Paper Scissors they both want to sit there. They have now come to an agreement that she will pay £20. AIBU to think this is really nasty of DH?

Yes, quite Kurri I simply cannot envisage a situation where my DDs would have to pay DH for him to be loving and considerate toward them.

I would have taken her £20, smiled to make the gentle point, and then handed it back to her to add to her college fund.

I would have taken her £20, smiled to make the gentle point, and then handed it back to her to add to her college fund

I'd then have kneed him in the chuckies for being a complete and utter dick

I don't think this is necessarily as cut and dried as everyone makes out. If the Dad is always a nasty shit then he was probably being a nasty shit but if he is usually ok then I think it was ok. Playing RPS first indicates that the DD wasn't that nervous about it. If she was really stressed about t wouldn't it have all been mentioned and sorted out beforehand. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also, assuming the Dad isn't a nasty shit, then doesn't his opinion count for anything? He must have thought the DD would be ok and that maybe he was stretching her a little but that's all.

Her reasons for wanting to sit by the window don't seem insurmountable- no one needs a wee on such a short flight and is there really any less chance of the air steward talking to you if you are in the window rather than the middle seat. Even in the window seat the air steward/ess would ask you what you wanted unless you had your headphones in.

Maybe their is some other reasons that the window seat would be better for the DDs anxiety but if there were it's odd that the DD and the OP hadn't worked out what they were beforehand.

As I said if the Dad is a nasty shit then he's a nasty shit but otherwise I don't think it's as black and white as other posters make out.

Sorry if ive missed some crucial information

I think 21 is plenty old enough to not be giving in to them anymore just because they are your child.

But if she actually needs the seat, I can't see why her dad would say no.

You'd do it for a friend, wouldn't you?

Does he not think that her anxiety is genuine?

I have a disability and I am terrified of planes. I always ask for the window seat although on some airlines for some reason they think that putting people with disabilities in I'll seats is more practical. It actually isn't, because people at the window and middle seat need to Need to climb over you to get in and out. I try not to use the toilet on the plane, the easier the better. Also, if the plane has very bad turbulence and the overhead compartment's come open, I really worry about something falling on me.

I would not have taken her 20 pounds, even if she had agreed to it.

Some of these comments

People have different types of anxiety and different things that can invoke panic attacks. Just because you don't understand why OPs DD will be less anxious with the window seat doesn't mean you should belittle her.

I agree some people are belittling but I think what others are trying to say is that, if her anxiety is that bad (as mine is for travelling) you just wouldn't leave it until the airport stage to sort your seat out! I always prebook or contact the airport as I need a certain seat to keep my anxiety at bay. You certainly wouldn't risk getting that seat playing RPS!

Not all window seats have much of a view anyway. Mine was right by the wing and had to crane my neck to see out of it.

I just think it's awful that a father has charged his daughter £20 to sit in the window seat. People would be ourtaged if an airline charged a passenger an extra £20 to sit in the window seat, but a young woman with anxiety is being charged by her own father on a short flight to Dublin! It's just horrible that he would do that. Why not just be kind and let her have it with good grace?

^^'outraged' that should be.

He's got a nerve when he didn't even pay for the ticket.

Window seats are the pits - I hate the curved ceiling coming right over your head. Talk about claustrophobic.

Surely since they are married its actually joint money

This place amazes me sometimes.

dont know a single dad who wouldn't freely give up his window seat if it made one I'd his kids...however old.... Feel less anxious. As for taking the money? Jesus.

No, not if they have separate accounts Leda. It's not a stipulation of marriage that you put all your money into a joint account.

Interesting how the key point that changes everyone's view of the situation only got mentioned a few posts in, when it was evident that the replies weren't going the OP's way.

I am a similar age to your daughter, and I know that my dad would never take the money from me

I can't imagine any father actually arguing about this.

Neither can I imagine a 21yo with anxiety issues being prepared to play RPS to get the window seat. Ffs. If she needed it, she needed it and he should have given it to her. If she was prepared to win/lose the toss over it, it obviously wasn't that big a deal and she should quit moaning. Money should never have come into it.

Well this is ridiculous. First of all, why does the OP describe herself as having paid for the flights out of "her" money? Surely if they are married all the money is one and the same anyway?

Secondly, this is a flight to Dublin fgs As soon as they are up in the air, they'll basically be landing!

Yes of course he should let his daughter have her choice of seat. Tell him to get a grip and get some manners while he's at it. What planet are some men on - would he charge his wife if she wanted the window seat?

This business over £20 - don't even engage with that.

I'd be leaving him behind OP.

I have anxiety, which goes into overdrive on planes. Sitting by the window is a huge help, as I can retreat into a sort of zen space, just watching the clouds and not having to stare at a tube crammed full of trapped people. My friends understand this and have always been kind enough to let me have the window. After all, if you book together you have no say in who's allocated which seat - it's the luck of the draw. So, YANBU, OP - you're husband was mean.

Your, FFS.

Your, FFS.

I can imagine my husband joking about charging for the window seat however he wouldn't mean it for one second. If he thought that sitting by the window would alleviate our daughters anxiety he would give up the seat in a heartbeat.

If you're in a bank of 3 seats, surely the only people getting up to go to the loo (how weak are your bladders btw? It's a short flight!) are her immediate family. As for the cabin crew, just put in headphones and close your eyes if you don't want to talk.

I much prefer to sit by the window and I paid my son £10 to take his turn (we alternate) on our last flight. I'd probably make him pay too! He'd get the money back in spades though, as we pay for everything on holiday. He's 17.

I share my office with a colleague who wants the window open all the time because stuffy air gives her headaches. I give in to her most of the time, my reasoning being that it's easier for me put a jumper on than for her to work with the headache.

What I'm taking from parts of this thread is that I should refuse because one day she might end up in a situation where she couldn't have a window open, and then how would she cope? That would learn her. But sounds like hard work to me. Why not just oblige somebody if you can?