DH charging DD to swap plane seats??

[DayDreamer17]

DD is 21 so I know she is an adult, etc.
DH has a plane seat that's near the window and DD lost Rock Paper Scissors they both want to sit there. They have now come to an agreement that she will pay £20. AIBU to think this is really nasty of DH?

[diddl]

Was there not an option to book a window seat?

What if you hadn't been allocated one at all?

I do think that she should let her sit there because of her anxiety.

Not just because he's her father!

[TempusEedjit]

Well that's a massive drip feed OP. You originally posted as though your DD and DH had equal wants and needs, your DH offered her a fair chance to swap and because your DD lost she came across as a sore loser who can't afford £20. Now it's all about her anxiety.

Btw why would she have to speak to the cabin crew if she wasn't by the window seat, surely she can ignore them just as easily from the middle seat. And if she needs the loo then she'd have to ask the entire row to move for her rather than just shifting wordlessly from the outside seat to allow others out. I think there's more to it than this and (rightly or wrongly?) you just don't like your DH much.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Maybe remind him that when he is old and needs his daughters help, he has taught her that any favour he needs due to ill health,she is at perfect liberty to charge him for.

[ssd]

i honestly dont know why so many women on this site put up with so many wanky men

[StayAChild]

You are not being unreasonable OP. It shouldn't have even got to the RPS stage. Competing with your own child? It doesn't matter how old the child is, they still come first, especially in something so trivial. Getting money out of it takes it to a whole new level.

I have flight anxiety and I prefer the window seat as I feel more cocooned for some reason, as well as not having to chat to a stranger if it's a 3 seat configuration, as I am too busy 'flying' the plane .

[ssd]

no wonder you dd's fukin anxious with a bully for a dad and a mum who has to ask a load of strangers online if this is bad or not

[StayAChild]

PyongyangKipperbang I wish I could think of posts like yours.

[Hillarious]

cory - no, I'm not saying why have the parents let their daughter's anxiety reached this point, I'm saying why are you sitting at the gate waiting to fly and dealing with an issue like this if, as we find out further down the post, the daughter is having CBT for anxiety? Does the OP really need to go onto a forum like this to ask if her DH is being unreasonable in his behaviour?

[Vrooooom]

The CBT was a massive drip. Why don't you pay it for her then charge your DH £20 for something else.

Also tell your DD that she was daft to play RPS for something that was important to her.

She can put her headphone on if she doesn't want to talk to the air steward/stewardess and if it's only her Dad next to her then surely it's not a problem if he goes to the loo. - she can nick his seat then.

All Sounds a bit

[hackmum]

Oh, ffs, I would always let my daughter have the window seat. She's 18 now but I would probably still be letting her have the window seat if she was 30. Why is the OP's DH behaving like a six-year old?

[corythatwas]

Sorry, Hillarious, I'm with you now. And absolutely agree: the OP should have put a stop to this discussion earlier on.

[BeepBeepMOVE]

She's an adult. If she wants to pay £20 for a window seat then that's her choice. DHs desire for a window seat shouldn't be less than hers.

And you don't have to speak to the flight attendant in the middle seat anymore than you do in the window seat. So that is nonsense. Ans it's hardly a massive toil to get up when your dad needs the loo.

This sounds like nothing to do with anxiety, especially as you say it is nothing to do with flying. You shouldn't be using her anxiety s an excuse to treat her differently.

[Wannabe2017]

FFS! A father and daughter had a little bet and a game! For all we know, DD is completely fine and happy with the outcome!

All of a sudden DF is now a bully and a wanker... What a fucking drama over nothing!

[BeepBeepMOVE]

And teach her some manners, it's rude to ignore someone if they are speaking to you- cabin crew- wherever you are sitting. They are only trying to do their job.

[Kokusai]

Competing with your own child? It doesn't matter how old the child is, they still come first, especially in something so trivial

Do not agree. I put my my dad first (aisle seat, dickey knee) and my mum first (window, difficult for her to get up out of the seat so don't want to disturb her when I need a wee which is more often than she does).

[BitOutOfPractice]

The level of ignorance and lack of compassion about people suffering from anxiety on this thread is just staggering and frankly disgusting

BeepBeep I think you need some education, and to grow a heart

[StayAChild]

Kokusai that's because you're considerate and thinking of others.

[emmyrose2000]

How ridiculous. They both need to grow up.

When I'm travelling with family members we don't even look at who has which seat. All we know is that we are in row 34 A,B,C (or whatever). We each just take whichever one of those three seats we get to first. If one of us wanted a particular seat on that flight for whatever reason no one would bat an eye.

[emmyrose2000]

she says because she doesn't have to answer to the air hostesses

Does she ignore the crew when they speak to her?

[corythatwas]

BeepBeepMOVE Thu 18-May-17 10:19:130
"She's an adult. If she wants to pay £20 for a window seat then that's her choice. DHs desire for a window seat shouldn't be less than hers."

Yes, the OP drip fed. But now that we do have the facts, can we just accept that the dd is mentally ill to the point where she is having treatment? We have also been told that this situation is triggering her anxiety.

As far as we know, the dh's desire for a window seat is just that: something he would like to have.

"And you don't have to speak to the flight attendant in the midde seat anymore than you do in the window seat. So that is nonsense."

As is fear of spiders and agoraphobia and excessive fear of snakes. All nonsense. All irrational. That is what MH problems are.

"And teach her some manners, it's rude to ignore someone if they are speaking to you- cabin crew- wherever you are sitting."

Yes, and it's rude not to get up for older people on the bus. But wheelchair users tend to be excused. This girl is ill. The illness may make it impossible for her to speak when she is having an anxiety attack.

[TipTop333]

But why does DH want the window seat?

[bonbonours]

I agree that DH needs to grow up.

Also those who are being mean about OP paying for her daughter's flight - if she is at university, she is not earning anything (barring a possible small amount through part time work) so why is it so ridiculous that her parents are supporting her financially at this time? Presumably they are hoping that her university education will help her to get a job which supports her financially in the future. You don't stop being a parent the moment your child turns 18. I'm 39 and if my parents wanted to do something as a family and I couldn't afford it they would offer to pay for me if they could afford it.

[SusannahL]

This may have already been suggested, but surely the answer is for the op to have the window seat. End of argument!

[TheLionQueen1]

I have anxiety which is particularly bad when flying and I wouldn't get on a flight without pre booking my seats (available at a small surcharge with most airlines) this way I know exactly what is going on. If I couldn't pre book I honestly don't think I'd get on the flight. So I do wonder how much this is being used as an excuse for not wanting the seat she got? And I'd pay £20 for the seat I wanted if it came down to it! She's an adult, she's at uni and made the decision to make the joke with her dad, I'm sure if she was that concerned she would just explain to him that it really was that bad and she had to sit there (wondering why he isn't aware if cbt is going on though?) Its £20 not the end of the world when she's going on a free holiday at 21 (and yes I went to uni so know what money is like to a student and no my parents wouldn't have paid to take me on holiday at that age!!)

[SuperBeagle]

How does your DD cope at uni and in her job if she can't even speak to an air hostess, or move out of the way when someone needs to go to the bathroom?