To send this text to my brother?

[NoCapes]

We had a family birthday tonight so we're all out for a meal
My brothers gf is pregnant so we were talking babies as you do, and someone said something like "oh Capes would have 10 more if she could wouldn't you" to which my brother responded - "would you? Why?! You're shit at it!" His gf said something like "you can't say that!" But partly laughing aswell, and he said something like "you just give them to my Mum all the time when you can't be arsed"
Didn't want to get into a discussion/argument at the table in front of everyone including my children so I said nothing, conversation moved on and I left soon after

I now want to send him a text along the lines of this -
'Just for future reference, it is never ok to call someone a shit parent. Not that I have to justify myself to you, but Mum has the kids on a regular basis yes, this is for her just as much as it benefits me. She has them the same days every month and I don't ever ring her when I 'can't be arsed' or I'm not coping or whatever else you think happens. You are very very rarely around me or my children so aren't really in a position to judge my parenting skills, and if you would really like to have a discussion about shit parents I would honestly look a bit closer to home than me.'
The shit parent thing is because his gf (and most of her family) take their children to the pub almost every single night where the kids are left to entertain themselves, usually share a takeaway and fall asleep on the backrest - yes I judge them and no I'm not afraid to say it

So do I cause an issue, or let it go and basically be the one that anyone can treat like shit and say what they want to because 'it's only Capes' again???

It's not that it's shocking, it was just asking for clarification.

Example: the benefit for both of you could have been that you pay her for childcare. It wasn't and that's fine but like I said the aggression is a bit weird and unnecessary.

Your brother sounds just like my brother, I dread family gatherings if he's there because of his cutting comments. If it were me I wouldn't send anything because I know he won't change and thankfully I don't have to see him too often & the rest of the family know what he's like so don't take what he says seriously.

Hugs to you, I couldn't understand any more if I tried! Xx

Do you generally get on? If you want to maintain a good relationship ask to see him a lone and then have the conversation in person. Texts and emails are a bad way to communicate these things, he will immediately go on the defensive and have it all written down (to show his gf etc) can only make it worse.

Not shocking I just wondered if maybe she'd had a sly little moan to him about having them so much etc but didn't want to hurt your feelings and tell you? If not then he's just being a douche and maybe jealous of how close your kids are to your Mum?

Capes, I think you can tell that there are many of us here that feel you are a great mum and not deserving of your Bros's criticism. Just another presumptions male shooting off his mouth (may be feeling defensive about his DP's behaviour?)
Only you can tell whether it is worth the hassle of confronting him over it in text or in person. Do keep your dignity. Personally I'd just tell him to keep his snide remarks to himself in future as they are hurtful and he is in no position to judge your parenting,
Good luck

PS just a thought. Maybe your bro asked your DM to look after His DSC and she said she wasn't able because it was her regular time to have your DC and he took that to mean she always has them because he was annoyed she couldn't do them a favour.

As far as my experience goes, retaliation doesn't really work...

One of my brothers (the middle of 3 kids, 2 boys, 1 girl - I'm the eldest sister) used to treat me like that, too. I tried to let the sarky, nasty comments slide 'cos I was always laughed at if I argued - making me feel even worse.

With hindsight, after my mum died, I realise our mum had been pitching us against each other. She'd moan to me about him, and moan about him to me.

Not sure there's any solution, but since mum died, I get on fine with middle brother (which now seems to upset my youngest brother - mum's fav, who sees himself as 'head of the family' ).

I hate the whole thing and stay as far away from my family as I can - much less stressful.