Is no oral sex a deal breaker?

[catbows]

Just having a conversation with a friend about a guy she is with that point blank refuses to go down on women.
He doesn't 'expect' blowjobs but does enjoy them.
He says he doesn't give oral because he wouldn't like the texture and because she has asked so many times why he doesn't and that it offends her he now says there is 'pressure' on the situation which means he probably will never do it.
I think this would be a deal breaker for me? Is this normal?
I don't think I've ever known someone to completely refuse....

Amazing to see how many people would end their relationships because their partner didn't want to lick them out?
I like oral as much as the next person but I love my partner there's no way I'd leave him over that??!
Are you honestly saying you'd leave a kind hearted, caring and devoted man because he wouldn't lick your vagina?

What happens if you got together with a nice man and then he became unable to have sex at all..would you leave him then as well?

All seems rather shallow to me.

anon1987; there's no way I'd go through the rest of my life without oral (and if he won't do that he'll be very unadventurous in other ways as well...), if I met the love of my life without the sex part, he'd either agree to let me have a sex friend on the side or be friend zoned. Sex is important to a lot of people, not so much for others. Two people either need to be compatible or there have to be other options available otherwise the relationship won't work.

Total deal breaker for me. Life is too short to be sleeping with incompatible people.

What happens if you got together with a nice man and then he became unable to have sex at all..would you leave him then as well

Too many variables to be able to state. But it's not unreasonable to want to be sexually active.

But we're not talking about intercourse and other types of sexual stimulation, we talking about a man licking your vagina.
Sex is important to me too, but it's what's in his heart that counts not whether he's willing to lick your minge.
Some people just have aversions to certain things, find the thought of sucking on a bristly discharged clit a little off putting to the old stomach.

I'm beginning to wonder if any of you have even been in love before?

Amazing to see how many people would end their relationships because their partner didn't want to lick them out?
I like oral as much as the next person but I love my partner there's no way I'd leave him over that??!

Many people would leave a relationship in the early days if they were sexually incompatible. And they should do, it's a good thing.

I think more people should know what their deal breakers are and be very firm on them. Might be less divorce that way.

A lack of oral sex would be of no concern to me but I wouldn't be in a relationship with a porn watcher, someone who found anal sex important or anyone who enjoys certain sexual acts that I have a problem with.

Nope, not a deal breaker.
Why should he be pressured
to do it?

'Are you honestly saying you'd leave a kind hearted, caring and devoted man because he wouldn't lick your vagina? confused'

I would leave anyone I wasn't sexually compatible with because it's not fair to either of us to have sex lives we're not happy with. We're not right for each other if we don't click sexually. You don't owe anyone a relationship and they don't owe you one, either. I don't operate on what might happen in the future, but on how things are now because we live in the present.

Sex is a big part of people's lives, it's not shallow at all to end things early on if you're not sexually compatible, or if you don't like their table manners or they support Arsenal or any other reason, and likewise for them.

I'm beginning to wonder if any of you have even been in love before?

I think that is the point. Most people would leave due to the sexual incompatibility before love comes into it.

ANON your post just made me howl, you hit the nail on the head! I personally find the thought of it quite unpleasant but then I don't like it, not every one does!!! Different strokes for different folks and all that.

U2has but surely as a fully grown adult you wouldn't give oral to someone you barely knew. Surely within a few months of dating you'd get to know them as a person and if they seem like the right guy then you'd compromise on things like licking out.

I'm afraid you'd be hard pressed to find a man who doesn't want anal occasionally and/or watched porn.

How would you feel if a man dated you for 6 months, you'd started to fall for him, then he dumped you because you wouldn't take it up the arse.

Divorce is so prevalent because people don't grow up anymore, what was once a union is now a give give take take attitude.

Where has the romance gone these days 🙄

'But we're not talking about intercourse and other types of sexual stimulation, we talking about a man licking your vagina.'

Um, that is sexual stimulation. It's also the only way some women manage to orgasm. Similarly, some women (and men) enjoy performing fellatio and don't want to be with someone who doesn't want that. Or anal, or porn watcher, all sorts. Sex is tied up in love with some people, so not being sexually compatible is a deal breaker, they don't get to the love stage, they wisely end things before they develop further on because committing yourself to a relationship that doesn't satisfy one or the other of you sexually is never going to work. Patently unfair on both parties, too, and I find it deceptive. I'm true to myself and honest and extend that to others I care about rather than not be honest about what turns me on, better to set them free to find someone they are compatible with.

Expatinscotland that's sad :( I'm sorry you feel that way.

anon I'm a man. I'm don't want anal at all, let alone occasionally. Any woman wants to shove her dildo up my arse can look elsewhere

But seriously, you do know lots of men have no interest in anal sex whatsoever?

PMSL anon, what a silly waste of your emotions, but hey, you're welcome to expend them on randoms on the internet.

I wouldn't wait 6 months to have sex with someone. That doesn't make me any more morally inferior to anyone else . You're making a value judgement here. It works for you, but it cannot be applied to all people.

I'm 100% certain that if a women came on mumsnet saying that her husband threatened to leave her because she no longer wanted to dress up as a school girl and take it up the arse while licking the neighbours balls (but she used to)
Everyone would be up in arms.

But according to you being sexually compatible is the most important thing above all else and it's absolutely fine to dump someone because you can't force them to partake in one particular sexual preference.

Nope, my h has zero interest in anal. Or porn. Loves oral, though, giving and receiving. We're both happy.

I don't like it and didn't think that was all that uncommon, so no it wouldn't be for me.

ShatnersWig About 90% of my friends are male and we're all pretty close and talk openly, so I'm just going by what they like.
But I understand there are some men not into it.

Well with my current dp he doesn't and never has given me oral sex i dont orgasam with him for this reason but our sex life is great it doesn't really bother me to be honest i do often give my other half oral he enjoys it and i enjoy giving it so for me its no problem if your friend cant get past the fact that her man wont give oral then she best to separate

I'm beginning to wonder if any of you have even been in love before?

What ridiculous hyperbole. Sex and love aren't the same thing. Sometimes I have had sexual partners that was just sex. Other times I have loved my partner.

I absolutely adore my BF. If we weren't sexually compatible we wouldn't be together. It is 100% ok to want sexual satisfaction in a loving relationship

Expat hmm are you sure? A lot of men hide it don't you know

U2has but surely as a fully grown adult you wouldn't give oral to someone you barely knew

I have had oral sex with people I barely knew, yes. I am married so it's not going to come up again hopefully but plenty of people have sex on the first date and oral sex might come up then.

I did manage to marry a non- porn watcher and a man who has never been bothered about anal sex. I would never have compromised on those two things though. If dh had wanted porn to be a part of our lives I would not have been with him. Same for anal sex. If that was important to him I would not have married him.

If a man wanted to end a 6 month relationship with me because I didn't want to take part in a sex act that was important to him then fair enough. I would much prefer he ended it then before we went on to marry and had children.

If anything was to ever happen between me and DH and I dated again I have a huge list of things now I wouldn't compromise on. I would rather be single than compromise on anything that matters to me.

anon Blimey. My male friends and I never talk about anal sex. I would find you unusual in being a woman who talks to all her male friends about shoving it up the arse.

@anon

Some people just have aversions to certain things, find the thought of sucking on a bristly discharged clit a little off putting to the old stomach.

PMSL what is a bristly discharged clit.??? 😂