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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.

767 replies

Light69 · 16/05/2017 06:41

I am not sure if my dh was being unreasonable for shouting at him this morning so here it goes. Not 100% sure if it is my neighbours eldest son or there daughters boy friend. He sleeps there most nights but doesn't appear to have house keys, I know this because he sits in his car at the bottom of my drive waiting to be let in. So he went through a stage of what ever side of the drive I parked in he would park directly behind me across the bottom of the drive blocking me in. This made it difficult to get off the drive as I was blocked in and had to kind of edge backwards and forwards to move the car to the otherside of the drive to reserve off it safely. We have a dropped kerb that runs the whole width of the drive but this didn't seem to bother him. I started reversing on to make it easier to pull off and out of the blue he stopped doing it. He has now moved on walking through our front garden to get to and from this car. So he comes out of their house steps over a small wall and walks right over my front door step and behind my car. He will push my kitchen windows in if they are open wide so he can fit behind the car easier then trotts off down the drive. On occasion if we have been leaving at the same time he has bumped into my dc or I have had to step back to stop him walking into me, I have asked him to stop but he doesn't. So this morning when dh was leaving for work he did it again and dh lost his temper and shouted at him and swore a bit, was dh in the wrong for this and how would you deal with the situation?

OP posts:
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SaorAlbaGuBrath · 16/05/2017 08:58

Having seen the diagram which makes clear that his route is utterly ridiculous I think you need to speak to your NDN and make clear that you've repeatedly asked him not to, that he's actually bumping into people (who does that??) and that you're fed up of your garden being trampled by an inconsiderate twat who could have injured your DH (scalding) when it's actually longer than his route should be! It does sound like he's sneaking in, I literally cannot see any other reason for his ridiculous route.

sunshinemeg · 16/05/2017 09:00

Your husband was remarkably restrained considering.

Please don't however set any trap that can cause injury - broken glass on wall as prime example. If he injures himself on your property you are liable. If you open a window that's fine, but a left trap isn't. Plants however are allowed!

I totally agree with Madwoman5, do all of those! Parking so he can't go around the cars would be my first start.

I was also thinking the same as marthastew in that there may be some SEN at play here. You won't know unless you visit the NDN for a chat to start and let them know what's going on.

Whatever you do, don't continue to let him get away with anything

ChasedByBees · 16/05/2017 09:03

I also think he's doing this on purpose and it's clear that he's not going to respond to polite requests.

I would speak with the neighbours - even if he an adult, they shouldn't want to be on bad terms from the start and other people pressuring him over the 'right' way to behave could help.

Yes, I woupd also be going with shouting, hosepipe, spiky plants and horseshit too.

Could you speak with the police about harassment? He bumps into you on your property, he won't leave when asked, repeatedly blocks you in, closes your windows and bumps into your SH so hard he gets covered in coffee. Sounds like harassment to me. They won't arrest him but hey could send someone out to have a word.

We had a similar silly situation once and the police were quite happy to have a word - I think they saw it as preventing future escalation (which it could have easily ended in). They told me a significant amount of their time was spent on parking matters!

sunnyhills · 16/05/2017 09:05

Another here thinking that there may be some disabilty here .Such strange behaviour ,caught in the headlights .

For that reason I'd speak to the neighbours .Carefully . I think it's a bit too easy on here to get carried away ( not you OP ) as it's so bizarre .

But let us know how you get on .

TheMaddHugger · 16/05/2017 09:05

I am surprised you haven't beaten the living Crap out of him yet.

OP. You are far too Placid. You are teaching your child/ren to let people walk over them. It's Not on.

This 'Lad' is taking the Piss and doing this to annoy you. No idea why

Roomster101 · 16/05/2017 09:07

So many posters just love the drama. Unless you love drama too and want to risk falling out with the neighbours (which could potentially affect the sale of your property in the future) or cause injury (which could result in you getting into a lot of trouble/sued), why wouldn't you just speak to the neighbours and see if that works before doing anything else? Sorry to be boring...

HappyFlappy · 16/05/2017 09:08

I can't believe that he is actually taking a longer route to get into the NDN's house - he's obviously deliberately baiting you. What a twat!

I don't think your husband should manhandle him off the property, though - it may lay him open to charges of assault, and it's not worth getting a police caution, or worse, for the likes of this little toe rag.

Go down the getting on NDN's wick every time, spiky bushes, keeping a bucket of water handy to "accidentally" soak him (you always clean your kitchen floor at that time in the morning, and use the grey water to put on the garden),

Or if you can get any, fox shit....that stuff fucking STINKS.

It does. It really, really does. The problem then is that you don't really want it on your garden.

If you could push some up his exhaust pipe, or even a piece of kipper or some dog poo, so that his car stank of whatever, then that might afford some personal satisfaction.

Do you have children OP? You could ring the police and tell them that he is behaving inappropriately by constantly being on your property despite being told not to, and that your children are anxious about it because he just stands and stares at them. Or indeed, that he makes you anxious because he just stands and stares. When you think about it, this is in some ways quite threatening behaviour - creeping around your property, interfering with your windows etc.

It won't improve your relations with your neighbours, but it looks as though you can kiss them goodbye anyway.

What a horrible man.

CoraPirbright · 16/05/2017 09:10

As sunnyhills says, I would go in gently to ascertain whether any SENs or anything are at play here. If yes, firmly but kindly tell them it has to stop. If not, firmly, loudly and angrily tell them it has to stop.

Then deploy the buckets of water.

troodiedoo · 16/05/2017 09:10

Was a brilliant parking thread on here a while ago and some rugby playing friends of the op picked up the car and moved it. This could be a solution here. Round the block should do it.

TheMaddHugger · 16/05/2017 09:11

I do agree talking to the neighbours is an excellent first step.

I simply got a bit of the rage when reading all this crap he's doing.

IRL I am very calm and Mild. Something about this one just got to me.

Sorry Folks

TheMaddHugger · 16/05/2017 09:13

troodiedoo Tue 16-May-17 09:10:54
Was a brilliant parking thread on here a while ago and some rugby playing friends of the op picked up the car and moved it. This could be a solution here. Round the block should do it.

+1

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 16/05/2017 09:17

Movement activated water gun. They are designed for cats really, but I imagine they'd be equally effective.
And yes, a word with the local PCSO about the harassment may be helpful- especially now he has actually physically barged one of you.

froyotogo · 16/05/2017 09:18

Is he trying to get in and out of next door house SAS style? keeping close to your house may mean that he can't be seen?

WatchingFromTheWings · 16/05/2017 09:18

Massive trench on your side of the wall. Every time he climbs over he falls down it. That'll learn him! Grin

Seriously though, trellis and spikey shrubs should do it. Shouldn't be too expensive to do.

froyotogo · 16/05/2017 09:18

Our just wrap fishing wire around your property and wait until the next morning....

treaclesoda · 16/05/2017 09:20

As tempting as it is, don't manhandle him off the property, because the last thing you need is for you or your DH to be charged with assault. That won't help your situation at all.

I think I would go with other poster's idea of just knocking on the neighbours door each time he does it, but being super polite. It makes you annoying enough that they will want him to stop, but without giving them the moral high ground of accusing you of being argumentative.

treaclesoda · 16/05/2017 09:21

Although 'accidentally' soaking him with an out of control hose or something would be unfortunate, wouldn't it?

blankmind · 16/05/2017 09:24

Film him from upstairs for a few days for your own records, see NDN and tell them it has to stop, then if not, let him see your DH filming him every day for a few days, with a running commentary like 'Evidence of Trespass to be used in prosecution, date and time with a running commentary like pushed window closed to get past and everything else he does.

AStickInTime · 16/05/2017 09:25

Every time he steps on your property spray him with cold water.

Then he won't want to.

PurpleDragon76 · 16/05/2017 09:25

You shouldn't have to go to any expense to stop the twats behaviour. Nor does it matter if he is one legged, deaf, blind in one eye the bloke is being and arse and its gone on so kobg he doesn't eespect your property. Go round to neighbour when you know he is there, you and DH, ask that he stops. Just that, say stop walking on our property. Stop closing our windows. Just stop. If he doesn't take a photo of him doing it then ring the police and tell them the bloke bext door is harassing you. Filn him, take photos every time! That might unsettle the idiot. You are right, he is wrong, he is not your neighbour so you are bot upsetting the neighbours. Please speak now, the longer it goes on the more it will piss you off and stress you out

PurpleDragon76 · 16/05/2017 09:26

In fact, I am the sort to lay in wait and push my kitchen window open hard the second he walks by! Sore face might stop the cheeky fucker

thenightsky · 16/05/2017 09:34

Good grief... he sounds bonkers! Can you park your car closer to your house wall and windows so he cannot get through? I mean literally 1cm to spare?

I also think your house would look lovely with a large spiky pyracantha growing against the wall by the dining room window Grin

TimeIhadaNameChange · 16/05/2017 09:40

I'd get a motion-sensor sprinkler, personally.

Do not stand for it.

Dulra · 16/05/2017 09:42

He is walking through your front garden which is private property. Time to get out the pitch forks and start shouting "get off my land" Grin

Seriously I would knock next door and tell him that is has no permission or right to continue walking through your garden

PovertyPain · 16/05/2017 09:45

I don't think his behaviour has anything to do with sens. If his sens was that bad that he can't understand someone telling him to stay of his drive, then I doubt he would have the comprehension skills to drive. I think he's just an ignorant prick that's getting off on treating it like a game. He's behaving like this because you are being too bloody polite. You need to channel your inner rage, about anything that is annoying you in life, and let him have it with both barrels. The fucker would be buried in my front garden the next time he tried that.