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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Straw poll: hen weekend budgets.

145 replies

PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:05

Hi everyone :)

Sorry this is a rubbish AIBU! To be honest, it's more of a WWYD - I just wanted to get your opinions on this if that's okay!

I'm organising a hen weekend at the moment with two other people (A and B). A, who has organised hen weekends before, has suggested a budget of £250.

This budget would have included:
return train travel from London to the city where we're spending the weekend; cottage accommodation for 2 nights with two activities included; all taxi transfers on arrival and departure between the train station and the accommodation; dinner, drinks and club entry for Saturday evening; dinner on Friday night; lunch on Saturday; breakfast on Saturday and Sunday.

Our original plan was to do the two activities included in the accommodation package on the Saturday (the only full day we're there). We thought perhaps that we could do one in the morning and one in the afternoon before going out in the evening.

However, due to the timings and nature of one of the activities, we may have to do have the two activities included in the accommodation package on different days. B has suggested then that we do one of the activities on the Friday night and the second activity on the Saturday morning. B then suggested doing another activity on the Saturday afternoon, which would bring the original budget to around at least £280 per person for the whole weekend.

What do you think is a reasonable budget for a hen weekend (2 nights) in the U.K. please?

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 15/05/2017 10:12

So more like 350+ once drinks are factored in?

I wouldnt come tbh.

I can afford it but would resent spending that on a hen do.

TheNaze73 · 15/05/2017 10:12

I think with drink & food to get under £500 is an achievement

toolonglurking · 15/05/2017 10:15

I've been to lots of hen do's, and that budget sounds pretty normal, possibly the cheaper end of the scale.

One bit of advice though - don't feel that you need to fill every moment with an 'activity', so often there is so much organised fun that no one has any energy for the night out.

Gingerbreadmam · 15/05/2017 10:15

i think you need to ask or have a good idea of what the people going can afford.

personally that's far too much once drinks are factored in and no doubt buying things for the bride. i wouldn't go. 2 nights is a lot to expect too really.

as i say, depends on the people that are going really.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 15/05/2017 10:16

Wow, I'd be really hacked off if that were me - I'd pay it for a very close friend but would secretly be cross at having to fork out so much (and I can afford it, I'd just prefer to spend my money on more important stuff)

Helpmeoutpleasee · 15/05/2017 10:17

No, it sounds like 280 ALL IN - that's very reasonable!!!

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 15/05/2017 10:17

Why don't you email round and ask people what they reckon?

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:17

ENorm thanks for your post :) I absolutely agree with you - I'd resent it too. I'm only working part time at the moment, so I'm not sure how I'll pay for it if it goes up by a lot.

Naze Really? Shock UK-based hen weekends? I completely understand how a hen weekend could be expensive, but unless it's really extravagant, how do you go over £500 (even with food and drink and absolutely every cost accounted for)?

OP posts:
Intransige · 15/05/2017 10:18

It would depend on who was going. If it was a group of people I knew and liked then I wouldn't mind spending that. If I only really knew the bride then that would be too much.

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:19

Help yep you're right - the original budget would have been more or less £250 all in or, as it stands now, £280 (unless people wanted to get more drinks while they were out or pay for more food out at the restaurants we'd visit).

OP posts:
DaisyChainsForever · 15/05/2017 10:20

When did hen dos become hen weekends?! I would pay that for a really close friend or family member, but not for anyone else. Also trying to cram too much in is not enjoyable, it's exhausting!

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:21

I've never been on a hen do or organised one before, and I was expecting to be told firmly by most people that £250 to £280 was really extravagant!

How much would you be prepared to spend normally? Do you go on hen weekends in the UK or abroad?

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 15/05/2017 10:21

Way too much for me, all of it. I'd be out.

I am planning a very cheap and low key hen do for me. £15 for the day at the local Spa, BBQ and booze at my house afterwards. I have a dear friend who is out of work and can't bear the idea of excluding her financially or that she'd have to borrow money to come along.

Maybe the cost for those attending, OP, is in proportion to everyone's income?

Kittencatkins123 · 15/05/2017 10:22

I would sound people out first. It's still quite a lot of money. When you factor in going to the wedding too, it's basically a holiday - and may mean some people can't afford to go on holiday.

I think it includes quite a lot, so don't think you've done a bad job - but for some people it might not be affordable.

kel1493 · 15/05/2017 10:23

I wouldn't dream of even going to something like that I'll be honest.
I thought hen nights were more a night out in town or that?
(I didn't even have one so..)

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 15/05/2017 10:23

Personally I believe people make the event more than what you do so have always tried to make hen dos as affordable as possible (so as many people as possible can afford to come). I wouldn't pay £280 plus drinks tbh, but I don't have a lot of disposable income. I would pay around £150, with food and activities included and bring some money for drinks on the night, but I also appreciate that you won't get more than one day/evening in London for that price!

Make sure you speak to the bride and ask her what's more important, who goes or the event itself. If there are certain people she definitely wants there make sure it is affordable for those people. I would have been gutted if my bridesmaids made my hen do so expensive that my best friends and family couldn't attend.
Good luck, hen do planning is a nightmare imo!!

Kittencatkins123 · 15/05/2017 10:25

Ps the last extravagant hen we went on ended up in a massive drunken barney which I think was in part due to people's ill feeling at having to fork out so much money including paying for the hen's flights and accom on top of the usual drinks etc because 'the hen doesn't pay' (is this a thing? Because I would pay for my own hen do!)

SaucyJack · 15/05/2017 10:27

It sounds in keeping with today's idea of what a hen weekend would entail.

I've paid similar for a weekend where I was extremely close to the bride- and (importantly) many of the other guests going. We had a jolly spiffing time. I didn't resent it in the slightest.

Have you properly calculated the costs of a night out in London tho? I think you may end up going well over budget unless you're going to Wetherspoons.

McTufty · 15/05/2017 10:28

For me and my friends that is about the going rate - I've often paid about £200 just for accommodation and activities with drinks and food on top.

However it really does depend on the budgets of those who are being invited. it would be a shame if there are people who are close to the bride who are priced out of going.

Surprised at the people who seem to resent spending money they can afford to celebrate with a friend and make her feel special.

GinGeum · 15/05/2017 10:28

There is no way I would attend a hen do costing that much. I suppose it may be different for wealthier people, but to spend that much on a weekend and without OH... I don't know. Especially if OH would then spend the same on the stag. It's too much imo. But hen weekends seem to be so much more common now, so I suspect I'm in the minority.

Helpmeoutpleasee · 15/05/2017 10:28

It's not in London!

McTufty · 15/05/2017 10:28

Good luck, hen do planning is a nightmare imo!!

I've organised 5 and I couldn't agree more!

ItsNachoCheese · 15/05/2017 10:29

I wouldnt be able to afford it so i would decline the invite

welovepancakes · 15/05/2017 10:29

I think it depends so much who is going, how close they are to the bride, what are the expectations in that social group. Could activities be optional, so people can join in or not, depending on their choice / budget? eg I hate spa treatments, so I'd be a bit grumpy at being asked to pay £50 for a treatment, when I'd prefer to chill out or go for a walk

Trills · 15/05/2017 10:31

I wouldn't plan any activity on Friday.

People will want to arrive at different times, possibly after work - I would just get to your accommodation and hang out there with some drinks and food.