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AIBU?

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Original poster

Straw poll: hen weekend budgets.

145 replies

PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:05

Hi everyone :)

Sorry this is a rubbish AIBU! To be honest, it's more of a WWYD - I just wanted to get your opinions on this if that's okay!

I'm organising a hen weekend at the moment with two other people (A and B). A, who has organised hen weekends before, has suggested a budget of £250.

This budget would have included:
return train travel from London to the city where we're spending the weekend; cottage accommodation for 2 nights with two activities included; all taxi transfers on arrival and departure between the train station and the accommodation; dinner, drinks and club entry for Saturday evening; dinner on Friday night; lunch on Saturday; breakfast on Saturday and Sunday.

Our original plan was to do the two activities included in the accommodation package on the Saturday (the only full day we're there). We thought perhaps that we could do one in the morning and one in the afternoon before going out in the evening.

However, due to the timings and nature of one of the activities, we may have to do have the two activities included in the accommodation package on different days. B has suggested then that we do one of the activities on the Friday night and the second activity on the Saturday morning. B then suggested doing another activity on the Saturday afternoon, which would bring the original budget to around at least £280 per person for the whole weekend.

What do you think is a reasonable budget for a hen weekend (2 nights) in the U.K. please?

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 11:54

tissue the wedding's abroad, in September.

OP posts:
CaptainWarbeck · 15/05/2017 11:59

Can one of you check in with the bride to find out a bit more about what her expectations actually are? Is be mortified if I'd specified cheap and cheerful and then guests ended up dropping out because of cost etc.

Do you reckon she definitely wants a whole weekend event? I know they are increasingly the norm, but a spa day and an evening meal and drinks are common too.

CaptainWarbeck · 15/05/2017 11:59

*I'd not is

haveacupoftea · 15/05/2017 12:00

2 nights is too much. Would be much better for everyone to go up on Saturday morning rather than Friday after work.

All those activities are unnecessary, expensive and excruciating. What I'd do if I were you is:

Book for Saturday night
One activity on the Saturday
Pizza and drinks in the house for everyone pre going out
Night out
Sunday morning lie in as hungover then brunch
Home!

The bride wants cheap and cheerful so give her what she wants.

You also need to factor in will the price go up when people pull out? Because they absolutely will especially if it's a long expensive palaver.

icy121 · 15/05/2017 12:08

We arranged a hen day in central London - it was I think £175 from memory. Included everything from midday to midnight: afternoon tea lunch with fizz & white wine, hair & makeup lady came and did everyone over, cocktail making class, dinner with wine, club entrance and first round of drinks. London prices - just expensive. I think what you've come up with is very reasonable given the time & inclusions. To the pp who can find a "day at the spa for £15" - yeah...... sure that won't be in the south east!!

welovepancakes · 15/05/2017 12:12

You may struggle to get a self catering house for one night only. A travelodge type hotel could work out cheaper option. Also, more flexible if people drop out. You can book travelodge rooms where the cost is totally refundable if you cancel in advance

I still think you need to have a proper chat with the bride and other guests. 2 nights, activities, dinner out, clubs, taxis etc wouldn't be my idea of cheap & cheerful.

5moreminutes · 15/05/2017 12:12

You could do a Saturday night in Brighton with a comedy club meal deal and a night sharing double rooms in a B&B for around a hundred pounds pp including dinner and breakfast but excluding drinks though - isn't that more what "cheap and cheerful" means if a night away has to be included due to logistics.

mustiwearabra · 15/05/2017 12:14

I think you need to think about whether you've been completely realistic on what people will be needing to spend on booze because I think adding in a true figure for that, you're probably talking more like £350-£400 per person.

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 12:21

welove I've been in touch with a company who advertise holiday cottages, and they've sent me details of a package that costs £168 per person for 2 nights of accommodation and 2 activities.

Thanks for the tip about the hotels too, which might well work out to be cheaper! One of the other hen do organisers has been proactive and brilliant, and has reserved 2 hotels (both with a fully refundable cancellation policy), so that's always an option.

About whole 'cheap and cheerful' thing, personally I don't like it when I'm organising something for someone and their only instructions are 'cheap and cheerful'. I'm very close to the bride and know her very well. I do think that she would really enjoy this kind of weekend, however I'm also really conscious about keeping costs down (for her benefit, as well as for the benefit of the other guests and me). According to the other hen do organiser, apparently the bride would like the idea of a private chef as one of the activities though. I'm not sure how to factor this in to keep the weekend 'cheap and cheerful'. Although I'm not sure whether the other organiser's comment about the 'private chef' is because they're personally really keen on it, and they want me to think that the bride would love it too, so I'd then decide to keep it in to please the bride, IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Cheby · 15/05/2017 12:21

If you're heading out Saturday night, I don't think I would want to have to get up early Saturday morning and do 2 activities. I'm guessing you would all be drinking Friday night? So you might be better off having a lazy Saturday morning, activity Saturday afternoon? Or if you don't mind getting up on Saturday then activity Saturday morning, back to base in the afternoon for disco naps and getting ready?

Otherwise I think it will feel rushed.

Budget wise I think it's reasonable for what you're getting. However I wouldn't assume that all my friends had a spare £300 (at least, once drinks are factored in) to blow on a weekend away. For me that would be a family weekend away and I couldn't justify spending it on myself.

Moanyoldcow · 15/05/2017 12:24

Does it have to be a whole weekend? When did this happen? Urgh.

Iwannasnack · 15/05/2017 12:27

Most hen weekends I've been to have been around £200 and that doesn't include all transport and drinks so I think you've done well.
I would echo what others have said about not needing to fill every minute with activities, some time to sit around catching up is good.
Also look at getting a big supermarket shop delivered the day you arrive. Then you can have plenty of booze at the cottage. Also breakfasts and at least one dinner at home. We normally did plenty of drinks, pizza and nibble on the Friday night as everyone was arriving at different times.
Good luck. I've organised 2 hens and it's bloody difficult!!

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 15/05/2017 12:28

A destination wedding, plus a 3 day hen party? Does the bride want her friends to spend a fortune???

Cheap and cheerful - go back to the bride and clarify. She may want a night in the local pub or a pub crawl because she knows her wedding will be costing people money. Please check, she may not actually want any of this.

Do you think it sounds like her kind of thing? Private chef, party games etc.

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 12:29

musti that's a good point. I'm not sure how to factor that in. I don't really drink, and prefer to spend my money on other things (e.g. nice meals).

For people who will want to drink though, they could spend anything up to £100 for drinks on the whole weekend. It's probably at least £8 for a cocktail and at least £15 for bottle of wine bought in a restaurant or bar.

So, say, someone had 3 cocktails, a couple of shots (£1 each?) and more or less a bottle of wine altogether on Saturday night, that's already at least £40 spent during one night. And then they may want drinks on Friday night and Saturday during the day (an extra £20?) So, already, that's easily around £60 spent on alcohol.

OP posts:
Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 12:30

Vivienne the bride lives in London, so it would probably be quite pricey anyway. Her DP is going on a similar stag weekend in Brighton.

OP posts:
Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 12:31

Iwannasnack great idea about getting a supermarket shop in - thanks! :)

OP posts:
mustiwearabra · 15/05/2017 12:31

And then some haha (my friends are heathens so am i )

Iwannasnack · 15/05/2017 12:42

On the subject of supermarkets, for my own Hen my bridesmaids organised Waitrose catering for one meal. I wasn't directly involved but I think it all arrived in containers earlier in the day and just had to be heated up. It was Thai and yummy.

CottonSock · 15/05/2017 12:47

If I wasn't going to the wedding abroad I might consider it, be a pain with kids though. Its about the time as well as the money. Probably I would decline. People might pull out once you give details

BarbedBloom · 15/05/2017 12:56

I wouldn't come as it would be too much money for me to justify for something I wouldn't really enjoy - I don't really enjoy hen do type things as I can be quite shy and struggle in big groups of people I don't know.

But a few friends have had hen weekends and their budgets were fairly similar to that.

elkegel · 15/05/2017 13:01

I would just come up for the afternoon/evening, stay over and go back the next day.

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 13:01

Most people know each other in this situation. Everyone going knows at least three other people going.

OP posts:
elkegel · 15/05/2017 13:07

I'm just imagining the hell of spending two nights plus entire days with people I don't know and can't get away from.

KC225 · 15/05/2017 13:09

Its all so bloody unnecessary. A meal out, bit of a pub crawl, nightclub followed by shared mini cabs home. Job done

elkegel · 15/05/2017 13:13

The last hen do I went on I knew three people there. Some of the women on the groom's side I didn't like at all though - were really loud, attention seeking, flirty to an embarrassing degree with men (when they were married themselves) and aggressive when pissed. Glad my friends only had to spend one night and some of the afternoon with them, and that we were definitely not all staying in the same place.

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