Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Straw poll: hen weekend budgets.

145 replies

PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:05

Hi everyone :)

Sorry this is a rubbish AIBU! To be honest, it's more of a WWYD - I just wanted to get your opinions on this if that's okay!

I'm organising a hen weekend at the moment with two other people (A and B). A, who has organised hen weekends before, has suggested a budget of £250.

This budget would have included:
return train travel from London to the city where we're spending the weekend; cottage accommodation for 2 nights with two activities included; all taxi transfers on arrival and departure between the train station and the accommodation; dinner, drinks and club entry for Saturday evening; dinner on Friday night; lunch on Saturday; breakfast on Saturday and Sunday.

Our original plan was to do the two activities included in the accommodation package on the Saturday (the only full day we're there). We thought perhaps that we could do one in the morning and one in the afternoon before going out in the evening.

However, due to the timings and nature of one of the activities, we may have to do have the two activities included in the accommodation package on different days. B has suggested then that we do one of the activities on the Friday night and the second activity on the Saturday morning. B then suggested doing another activity on the Saturday afternoon, which would bring the original budget to around at least £280 per person for the whole weekend.

What do you think is a reasonable budget for a hen weekend (2 nights) in the U.K. please?

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:

babblingbumblingbandofbaboons · 16/05/2017 08:28

I've not long organised a hen weekend in the UK. Two night stay for 12 in a country retreat type house (think grand designs meets luxury villa) all food and drink self catered, 200-300 mile round trip to get there and back depending on where the hens were coming from. Costs for all of that plus transport and activities were under £250pp and there was food and drink left to take home!

That said, it took months of planning and everyone had to be onboard with what we thought "reasonable" costs were at the start. It's hard work to keep costs below the agreed limit, particularly when you add in that as soon as the words "wedding" or "hen do" are mentioned costs jump. But if you're prepared to spend the time planning it properly then it is genuinely possible!

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 16/05/2017 08:34

Who's going ? If all single professionals that's fine if all married with kids on mat leave it's too much. Recently went on hen weekend and one. Food etc factored in prob spent £350 I could afford it but really resented it. You should organise it so it's affordable for the lest able to pay

McTufty · 16/05/2017 09:49

I think you've done very well to get it down to that for what you're getting! I hope you get a good turn out and you (and the bride!) have a lovely weekend

Vinorosso74 · 16/05/2017 11:16

That's a decent reduction so am sure people will be happy with that.

elkegel · 16/05/2017 13:23

That seems more realistic, OP.

Original poster

PamplemousseRouge · 19/05/2017 11:48

Hi everyone - thanks so much for your help and advice so far!

Just a quick update - I spoke to one of the other organisers, and she says that on all the hen dos that she's been on so far, the brides have never paid for themselves. I remember that previous posters mentioned this on here - how frequent is this? I'll now have to pay (at least) £272 for the whole weekend. (I realise that hen dos could have a much, much bigger budget, but I'm unemployed, so this stings a bit). How to broach it with bride??! Other organiser wasn't sure how to. Help!

OP posts:

Pombearsandnaiceham · 19/05/2017 12:06

Anyone been in a similar situation where they covered the costs for the bride? Sorry - I'm totally new to hen do etiquette!

Original poster

PamplemousseRouge · 19/05/2017 12:06

Whooops I'm so sorry name change fail!!!

OP posts:

Liverbird77 · 19/05/2017 12:13

I am getting married in July and I am not having a hen do. Might have a few drinks in a local pub, but that's it. I feel bad about people shelling out to travel to the wedding and pay for a hotel room as it is. I think it's unreasonable to ask people to spend hundreds and to be away from their family as well. Also, I would hate those who couldn't afford it to either put themselves under financial pressure or have to explain to the organiser that they couldn't afford to come. That's just my view though. As with all wedding-related stuff, if the couple wants to do, they should do it.

McTufty · 19/05/2017 12:13

I have never been on a hen do where the bride had to pay personally.

My hen do was a few weeks ago and I tried to pay and was told the BMs would not accept any money, but there were 25 people and it costs less than this one so it was about a fiver per person. I still feel embarrassed about it.

If you're unemployed could you talk to the bride and explain?

I have been in this situation where the other BM was on maternity leave so I covered her share of bride's costs, but it doesn't sound like this lot would be reasonable like that. Could be worth an ask?

Original poster

PamplemousseRouge · 19/05/2017 12:18

Liver you're my wedding heroine!!

Not that I'm getting married any time soon, but if/when it happens, I'm more and more against the idea of a hen do.

I'm extremely close to the person who I've been asked to organise the hen do for, but she's even turned a bit bridezilla destination wedding, UK wedding, dress anxiety etc etc. count me out!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

PamplemousseRouge · 19/05/2017 12:20

Thanks McTufty! :) oh god I'm a bit nervous about bringing it up (I need to get a grip/grow a backbone, I know!)

Argh I just want this wedding to be over!!

OP posts:

McTufty · 19/05/2017 12:27

Honestly pamplemousse, talk to them. My wedding is next saturday. I would be so so upset to think it was causing someone I was close to this level of stress. I have dress anxiety too but I still care about my friends!

I would never expect a friend of mine who was out of work to sub me for anything.

McTufty · 19/05/2017 12:28

You're stumping up the best part of £200 to attend yourself which is a lot of money when you're short - your commitment to being there for her can't be in question.

BrucesTooth · 19/05/2017 12:30

Recently went to a hen do in Bristol; one night in hotel, three activities (trampolining,life drawing and a swim/gym, all you can eat buffet dinner, club entry, minibus hire. It was £150pp, a lot for me but good value for what we all got I think. Just spent a bit on drinks and taxi into town for dinner.

ohbigdaddio · 19/05/2017 12:36

I think hen dos have got way out of hand these days! I'm paying £90 for a one day hen do (admittedly I don't have to stay over or travel much) and I think that's fair enough but £250+ is a lot. I think people resent spending those sorts of amounts on hen dos because by the time you've also bought wedding outfits, wedding gift, hotel, travel etc you can spend close to £1000! Not everyone has this sort of money so cutting back price of the hen do can be a big help.

Flashinthepan · 19/05/2017 12:55

I would have been really embarrassed as a bride if my friends had been expected to fork out huge amounts of money for a hen do that I hadn't really asked for. If you, as one of the organizers, don't know how you're going to pay for it then I would suggest have a whole rethink.

If most people are in london, why not just book somewhere for lunch/afternoon tea on a Saturday then go to a bar for a couple of cocktails, you could reserve an area to make sure there's enough room, and if people want to stay on and go clubbing they can, or if they're budgeted out they can go gome without embarrassment knowing they went to the main thing.

Original poster

PamplemousseRouge · 19/05/2017 13:16

I just find it frustrating that a hen weekend is for the bride's 'benefit', if that makes sense, but the bride's costs are paid for by other attendees. It seems very unfair to me as a general rule/expectation.

OP posts:

mollyminniemo · 19/05/2017 13:30

Having organised a lot of hen do's I find people dont factor in the amazing stuff included ie. dinners, drinks etc as sounding like s saving, they hear a big sum, upfront and run scared.

So better to bring costs down to bare basics i.e. accommodation, group taxi travel & activities.
People can make their own way there and buy their own train tickets- as people wont all get same train anyway so leave this to them to organise and pay for- but provide all info/links etc. Can some drive/share lifts?
Food- buy in bulk food shopping for the cottage and split cost per head- definitely add this in upfront budget. But if eating out- order a set menu etc at a restaurant and already pre-order some house wine to be on table, and just split as evenly as poss on the night, but don't pre-pay/include this upfront in budget as every time I've tried to do this and include as much as poss and present as a saving- it turns people off in droves. Bring upfront cost down (def to under £200) then people bring spending money while there.

Underthemoonlight · 19/05/2017 13:43

I was married in 2014 the only thing I didn't pay for was the decorations,balloons cupcakes, goodie bags,t shirts and the activity which I didn't know about. I paid for my own drinks,hotel and travel. I would be mortified had my travel and hotel and drinks been covered by everyone.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6