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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Straw poll: hen weekend budgets.

145 replies

PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 10:05

Hi everyone :)

Sorry this is a rubbish AIBU! To be honest, it's more of a WWYD - I just wanted to get your opinions on this if that's okay!

I'm organising a hen weekend at the moment with two other people (A and B). A, who has organised hen weekends before, has suggested a budget of £250.

This budget would have included:
return train travel from London to the city where we're spending the weekend; cottage accommodation for 2 nights with two activities included; all taxi transfers on arrival and departure between the train station and the accommodation; dinner, drinks and club entry for Saturday evening; dinner on Friday night; lunch on Saturday; breakfast on Saturday and Sunday.

Our original plan was to do the two activities included in the accommodation package on the Saturday (the only full day we're there). We thought perhaps that we could do one in the morning and one in the afternoon before going out in the evening.

However, due to the timings and nature of one of the activities, we may have to do have the two activities included in the accommodation package on different days. B has suggested then that we do one of the activities on the Friday night and the second activity on the Saturday morning. B then suggested doing another activity on the Saturday afternoon, which would bring the original budget to around at least £280 per person for the whole weekend.

What do you think is a reasonable budget for a hen weekend (2 nights) in the U.K. please?

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 15/05/2017 13:16

Don't cram so much in. I'm just back from a brilliant hen weekend. We got a fabulous house with a hot tub, paid £15 per head for a shopping delivery and everyone bought drinks that went into a collective bar. All the ideas of activities and meals out fell by the wayside as we were having too much fun eating, drinking, chatting and dancing at the house. Keep it simple.

witsender · 15/05/2017 13:16

It's a no from me, that seems like a lot of money and a whole lot of fuss.

FatOldBag · 15/05/2017 13:31

Way too much time and money for me.

Kokusai · 15/05/2017 13:50

Oh, if the bride is having a destination wedding and lives in london I'd be organizing her a full-day and evening of activities in London and not a weekend away. You get one of the two in my books - wedding or hen. Not both.

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 14:05

Kokusai she's also getting married in Britain.

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/05/2017 14:07

I thought you said the wedding was abroad, in September upthread Confused

Anyway Oxford is quite pricey, even compared to London. I think you need to be more realistic about the food and drink budget.

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 14:11

I did Harriet - she's having a wedding abroad and a wedding in Britain.

Good point - that's true. I'll have a rethink about the food and drink. I've spoken to the other organisers, and we're thinking about cooking more meals in the cottage (as previous posters have suggested), and having our own 'cocktail masterclass' session.

OP posts:
Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 14:25

Thanks so much everyone for all of your ideas and help so far - I really appreciate it :)

OP posts:
PerfectlyPosed · 15/05/2017 14:31

I've recently organised two hen do's and both had a budget of £250 per person. That included accommodation and almost all food and drink whilst there and any activities. People were quite happy with that budget and it was planned far enough in advance that they could pay in installments to spread the cost.

PeggySueOooOo · 15/05/2017 14:34

If you have accommodation with a kitchen then I would eat all meals in. You can order a supermarket delivery to arrive shortly after you do so you know costs up front and don't waste time shopping. Pizza or pasta for dinners (cheap, cheerful and easy). Just remember to buy lots of snacks for throughout the day and for 3am post drinking.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/05/2017 14:34

Blimey! Two weddings and a hen Shock that's a lot to budget for as a guest!

Anon5678943 · 15/05/2017 14:39

I had a hen do to attend not long ago. They said a£300 with travel for a lodge the next town over. It was my partners family and I was really chuffed they asked me so I said yes although I found it a bit expensive. It was all paid pretty early on. Anyway, the closer the date the more costs they kept adding, 60 for a cocktail class, 30 for bingo, 50 for food, 15 for shirts, spa treatments, loads more and it was stuff I didn't really want to do! . It was getting crazy prices with all of the add ons so.I ended up lying and saying I couldn't get the time off, I felt bad but I thought 300 was enough and really couldn't afford the extras so just said no and lost my 300, I thought it was 300 then spending money, so I agree don't do too much add ons and organised fun for the time and cost

thisgirlrides · 15/05/2017 14:39

In my 20's pre-children when working FT this was fairly standard and sub-£300 would be doable for a (presumably close) friend. Nowadays, I simply couldn't afford to come unless this was in lieu of a wedding, present, outfit etc and only then with plenty of notice.

thisgirlrides · 15/05/2017 14:42

Oh and agree, keep Friday free and if you've only got time for 1 activity on Saturday I would leave it at that - it's good to have a bit of time to just hang out, get ready in the evening, drinks at home etc

catmumof1 · 15/05/2017 14:55

Sounds like a realistic budget for an all-in figure, things definitely add up when you take into consideration transport and food that are often overlooked in the first instance.

I went on a similar hen do the other week and here's a rough breakdown:
£90 for 2 nights in hotel (hilton hampton) based on three people in a triple room and including breakfast, could have saved more here but we chose to pay for the hotel on arrival to spread the cost out a little.
£85 for two activities (clay pidegeon shooting and offroading so not cheap activities) as well as club entry with a booth and drinks package
£25 each for a split of petrol and parking costs
£20 for lunch and cocktails on the first day
£35 each for dinner on the first night
£7 each for pizza delivery on the second night
So over £250 for an all in price including splitting the cost of the hen

Definitely agree that its expensive, especially if not everyone is in the same position financially for whatever reason.
But everything is expensive I went on a more low-key hen do last weekend and still spent £100 just on afternoon tea and a few drinks.

In my experience (4 hen dos this year in the same friendship group) the best way to keep everyone involved is to be upfront with the costs so no one pays a deposit and then can't pay the rest when they find out the totals leaving the planner out of pocket and also spreading the cost out as much as possible (chilli sauce and other hen party planners have been really good for this but they overcharge for accommodation)

Vinorosso74 · 15/05/2017 15:04

I hate having loads of activities so think one is enough as it's too much pressure to get everyone to it on time etc. People will have fun chatting, drinking, eating and catching up with people.
Get an online supermarket shop to deliver food and drinks and split the cost.
You do need to check what everyone can afford.

Blueflowers2011 · 15/05/2017 15:19

I think what you are doing in all agreeing the budget and letting people know is the MOST important thing.

I went to a 'close' friends one, as a result we are no longer 'close', her expectation was her bridesmaids to fund and throw money at everything, a lot of premium things. It cost me over £350+ for 1 night, never again. Its put me off hen nights for life!

I would on principal agree with your plans if I was going but if things kept escalating it would annoy me a bit. Whatever you all agree add on a bit more as these things can cost more very quickly.

I would definitely make some things optional, for the ones that dont want to pay for everything find them a nice walk, make a chill area in the cottage if some dont want to go out (take scones/clotted cream for an afternoon tea, wine, magazines, face masks, etc) whilst others finish their activities.

The most important thing is getting together for the main club night/dinner, everything else should be optional for me tbh.

StickThatInYourPipe · 15/05/2017 15:34

When did it become the expectation that he bride doesn't pay? When my other friends have gotten married everyone has paid the same for her dos (best one being a night out in home town!) Now it's always the price plus the brides share split between everyone??

Blueflowers2011 · 15/05/2017 16:03

yep i know. Our relationship has never been the same a few years on. This was nothing compared to her expectations and us running after her everywhere on her wedding, ordering us to hold her train and tutting when we didnt, the ultimate Bridezilla.

Wh0Kn0wsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/05/2017 16:22

Another vote for keep it simple, one activity at the most and make sure it's one everyone will be ok with (probably easier said than done but you hopefully know your friends) then relax at the cottage with food and drink there, maybe one evening meal out, country walks etc. Absolutely no hen tee shirts or cringey Mr and Mrs type games.

AngryGinger · 15/05/2017 19:05

£280 is more than I'm spending for a week in the Algarve in June. Like hell would I be paying £250 for a hen do. I might do it for a very close friend but still, it's a heck of a lot f money when you still need to fork out for the wedding etc. I don't know what's wrong with a night out though to be fair

Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 20:42

Thanks so much everyone! :) the bride's DP is going away for a weekend with his friends, I think the expectation was that she could also go away.

Blueflowers I'm so sorry! That sounds like the bride put you in a really difficult position :( How did the night cost around £350? (I completely understand if you'd prefer not to go into details though!)

OP posts:
Original poster
PamplemousseRouge · 15/05/2017 23:59

Quick update - have managed to reduce the price of the package a bit by looking at the price of one activity with two nights' accommodation. This now brings it to £153 per person for two nights.

OP posts:
welovepancakes · 16/05/2017 07:57

That sounds better. Well done. Supermarket shop, ask everyone to bring their own booze, go for a walk. Less is more

Madwoman5 · 16/05/2017 08:25

Attending weddings is expensive. A few hundred quid on top for a hen weekend? Hmmmmm. What happened to the hen night?

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