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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed she's pregnant

286 replies

GaelicSiog · 14/05/2017 23:55

I know I am and I've seen this coming for a while, but I need to vent.

DD's dad has emailed me tonigbt to tell me that his partner is pregnant. This is not a surprise, they've been TTC for a while. They have DD every other weekend, next weekend is their weekend and they're having a family get together at which they will be telling the extended family and DD, so he wants me to keep it from her, but he wanted to let me know. He then goes on to say of course his maintenance payments will be dropping now, and btw they're off to bed so if I want to discuss with him I'll have to call tomorrow. This is a common tactic of his, drop bombshells late at night and say he's going to bed and turning his phone on silent.

They already have 6 DC between them. She has 3 from previous relationships, her youngest of those is only just older than DD, he moved in with them within weeks of DD arriving so he's very close to them, which has caused a lot of issues with them and DD over the years and deserves a whole thread of its own. They then have twins together. They're already struggling to fit them all into the house, we've had a huge drama lately because DSD1 has a large room to herself and won't share with anyone but her friends on sleepovers. They've recently put bunks in DSD2's tiny box for when DD stays because they won't make DSD1 swap or share. They have no space for a seventh, and DD already feels she has to compete for her dad's attention when she's there. That's only going to get worse now.

I know I'm BU, but I need to rant.

OP posts:
Original poster
GaelicSiog · 21/05/2017 19:52

She's home.

She says it was "fun." But she's also said that she felt sad because OW's mother (so DD's step grandnother) kept banging on about the 6th, and DD wanted to say the 7th but was too shy. I get that DD has very little to do with her, but I still feel it was insensitive.

Apparently the party host made a point of mentioning that they felt their party had been hijacked after the pregnancy announcement Grin I may have enjoyed that a little too much.

OP posts:
mikeyssister · 21/05/2017 19:54

OW mother is a bitch, but was she talking about her grandchildren?

Love the fact that the host pulled them up on it.

Original poster
GaelicSiog · 21/05/2017 19:57

D friend asked DD that when this came out in the car, Mikey. DD says she said something along the lines of how exciting it was for "OW and Ex having their 6th."

OP posts:
MissShittyBennet · 21/05/2017 20:22

Oh blimey, it was someone else's party? I missed that!

Original poster
GaelicSiog · 21/05/2017 20:33

It was a party for a relative of Ex, but various members of OW's family were invited. I suspect because ex MIL was involved in the planning and she and OW's mother are BFFs.

OP posts:
mikeyssister · 21/05/2017 20:59

In that case why didn't Ex pull her up on it - spineless bastard

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/05/2017 21:08

Your dd noticed a lot. It shows a great deal of maturity. And also that she notices everything happening around her. So any unfairness or slights will not pass her by. It is good that you can talk to her about it so that she can avoid feeling inferior, confused or upset about being treated differently. She will come to her own conclusions given time.

Original poster
GaelicSiog · 21/05/2017 21:28

We're going to be having a lot of conversations about contact weekends. Ideally I would like to reduce significantly, but that's for selfish reasons.

She's a bit unclear as to where ex was as this was happening, but I can equally believe he let it slide. She says she had fun playing with DSD2 and various other kids there and she probably did, but I think her self esteem took a bashing too.

OP posts:
ilovegin112 · 21/05/2017 21:56

How does she get treated by dads family ie ex mil

Original poster
GaelicSiog · 22/05/2017 12:39

Ex MIL is a weird one. She hated me with a passion and still does, but DD was a novelty when ex first got access. As she was with Ex and OW, really. Since then her other kids have given her grandchildren, ex is the oldest child and I'm the youngest of 10, so two total different grandparent dynamics going on there. Add in that she and OW are also BFFs and that ex and OW now have kids together and DD is more of an afterthought. Ex MIL is a particularly obnoxious character and plays the favourite grandchild game. I know DD does pick up on the differences in how both sets of grandparents treat her because this has come up before.

We're going to do something fun after school together today to make up for the shitty weekend I suspect she's had.

OP posts:
mikeyssister · 22/05/2017 21:38

And that's why you're a great parent - because you put her needs first

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