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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think a 19 yo fancying a 13 yo isn't right?

111 replies

user1494631282 · 13/05/2017 00:23

dc saw a 13 yo on the tv and described them as 'hot'. aibu to think that just isn't right?

OP posts:
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6
cardibach · 13/05/2017 00:33

My niece at 13 went out wit a 19 year old. Her mum kept a close eye, but it was not weird.

AfunaMbatata · 13/05/2017 00:33

YANBU it is odd as fuck. Would make me feel sick tbh

shyturnip · 13/05/2017 00:35

You see, the problem with these sorts of posts by user 18653235678 etc is that I don't know if it's for real or not.

khajiit13 · 13/05/2017 00:37

Seriously? Someone on TV? Absolutely normal. Even normal IRL TBH.

Happyfeet1972 · 13/05/2017 00:57

I think it's ok if it's just someone on tv, maybe they didn't realise their age? I find people attractive on TV that I wouldn't in real life. But can't believe pp are saying this would be normal in irl, really? This is an adult dating a child...and not one that's nearly legal either. That is most definitely weird. Six years age gap is very big at that age...I'd think the 19 year old was sick tbh.

user1491572121 · 13/05/2017 00:58

Cardi say what now??? Hmm Shock That's NOT OK. It's bloody wrong!

OP yanbu it's weird and distasteful. Just because it's on tv it's not "absolutely normal" as Khajit says either!

nakedandconcerned · 13/05/2017 01:06

Vile

AnathemaPulsifer · 13/05/2017 01:06

My 15 year old fancies 38 year Ian Somerhalder from Vampire Diaries. I'm only a few years older than him and have fancied him since I was mid twenties and he was in Young Americans. I don't think age is very relevant with tv personalities, it's not like you really date them.

tigerskinrug · 13/05/2017 01:07

I would be very concerned Cardi if my 13 year old was in a relationship with a 19 year old. I would definitely find it weird.

TheDropBear · 13/05/2017 01:07

Well it's not great but did they know they were 13? Some 13 year olds can pass for 16/17 especially with a lot of styling which is likely on tv.

nakedandconcerned · 13/05/2017 01:08

cardi it s weird, someone who can legally drink, drive, go out clubbing, vote and have sex; someone who is officially an adult, wanted to go out with someone who is barely a teenager - who will have a bedtime of before 10pm and up until a a year or two before probably still played with toys.

At 13 I still played with baronies (not in front of my friends of course)

nakedandconcerned · 13/05/2017 01:09

*barbies not baronies

ayyylmao · 13/05/2017 01:14

19 year old dating 13 year old is very weird.

19 year old being attracted to 13 year old is called biology. Especially since there are 13 year olds who easily look 16 these days.

Not sure why he would admit it out loud if he knew she was 13, though.

crispandcheesesandwichplease · 13/05/2017 01:47

ayyy 19 year old fancying a 13 year old is biology??! I don't think so. A 30 year old fancying a 23 year old yes. But why on earth would an adult be sexually attracted to a child and think that is 'normal'?!

StillHungryy · 13/05/2017 02:16

I think it's wrong if you know they're 13 but if age isn't known and they look older it's somewhat understandable.

I think teens liking older celebrities is normal though? Part of growing up and liking more mature, sophisticated and older people and leaving immature childishness behind ( somewhat)

YouWhatMate · 13/05/2017 02:17

Depends on the 13 year old, surely? Let's not pretend all 13 year olds look the same. Some look 16. And some 16 year olds look 13. So is it okay for him to say the 16 year old who looks 13 is hot, but not the 13 year old who looks 16? That would be really illogical.

YouWhatMate · 13/05/2017 02:20

I think it's wrong if you know they're 13 but if age isn't known and they look older it's somewhat understandable

This makes no sense. So what if he sees a girl who looks over 16. but he doesn't know her age and he thinks she is attractive - then he finds out she is 13, what happens to the attraction? It just disappears?

StillHungryy · 13/05/2017 02:28

I said somewhat understandable we're talking about TV so the likelihood is that if they met in real life the younger one would be mentally immature for the older one. Beside yes as it's just a superficial crush I think it would have an impact on whether you found someone attractive, we still see it happen in adults all the time.

We don't even know if the person is 13 or the character they play? So that character could be older playing a younger part.

Also we don't know the sex of either person so you have clear bias assuming the older one is male

YouWhatMate · 13/05/2017 02:46

so you have clear bias assuming the older one is male

Yeah I'm not even gonna deny that Grin

WanderingNotLost · 13/05/2017 02:50

It depends on the 13 year old in question, really. I was watching Maddie Ziegler (of Sia videos and Dance Moms fame) on YouTube with my niece yesterday and told my niece that she's absolutely beautiful and guaranteed to break hearts, and I'm a 31 year old straight woman with no paedophile tendencies whatsoever.

kateandme · 13/05/2017 03:06

do we no the person is 13,young girls on tv program re plyed by much older characters.high school actors are often 20 somthings.

ohcomeonnow · 13/05/2017 03:16

Did they know they were 13? I wouldn't be worried about a passing comment, tbh. Anything more than that, yes.

scaryclown · 13/05/2017 04:23

It depends, because things like finding Hermione attractive in Harry Potter are talked about, but that's not so much the adult child thing as the character having an attractiveness to the age at which the person watching it is coming from mentally when watching the film. Ie when you identify and engage with the characters in Harry Potter, because it's from a child's perspective you are effectively watching it as a child, so a character who is 'hot' in a teen drama is being found hot from a different perspective to a person finding a 13 year old in RL hot...iyswim

shitgibbon · 13/05/2017 04:36

Acting on it would be weird. Feeling it is not weird.

They are only 6 years apart, and a lot of 13 year olds look much older. When they are 20 and 26, nobody would even think about it.

ApplePizza · 13/05/2017 08:57

Yes, I think the attraction 'just disappears'. There's that sick feeling of 'not right'. Suddenly finding someone is underage or related and you didn't know.