to think a 19 yo fancying a 13 yo isn't right?

[user1494631282]

dc saw a 13 yo on the tv and described them as 'hot'. aibu to think that just isn't right?

I work in a school and I think things like 'he/she is a cutie' towards year sevens because they can be with their tiny faces and beaming smiles when you praise their work.I could also (if you asked me to) point out which ones (upper years) were classed as conventionally attractive/'hot' WITHOUT fancying them. I think it's normal to be able to look at people and decide if they're attractive or not without actually fancying them.
Could she have just been doing that instead of saying she fancied them?
Disclaimer: I do not walk around work deciding if students are hot or not. I applied the context to when I think pupils are sweet/cute. If I did walk around objectively deciding if I thought they were attractive I wouldn't work in a school.

I never said.its right im just trying to say the only way this would not be weird is if the 19yo believed the 13yo was much older for example just seeing them on tv or in a picture

As soon as they know the real age I'd expect them to be horrified

Agree, Betsy.

I think keeping repeating 'she's just a child' isn't helpful in this situation- they don't see themselves as children and are starting to have some ideas about relationships/dating/sex themselves; this is not a one-way street which is why parenting at this age is so stressful!

My dd is taller than me with a woman's figure- she looks very young with a school uniform on (but clearly having gone through puberty), but when dressed up for fancy dress with make-up on looks 16/17 or even older which is why I don't allow her to go out like that normally.

Unless there's an age flashed up on the screen, then I don't think it's weird for people to find sexually mature people attractive, but legally and morally it would be wrong to do anything about it. The picture Trinity shows is disturbing because of the deliberate presentation of the child as older, but I wouldn't call someone a paedophile for thinking she looked 'hot'- she's trying to look 'hot' and that's what's wrong about her presentation.

The 13 y.o. girl in my pic looks much more like most 13 y.o. girls than the 13 y.o. girl in your pic Trinity. And as a PP said, they are still 13!

You think a 19 y.o. fancying a 13 y.o. is OK?

Wow.

Can't comment without way more info.

User oh my god have you not even read my subsequent post ? I will repeat it again

"I never said.its right i'm just trying to say the ONLY way this would not be weird is if the 19yo believed the 13yo was much older for example just seeing them on tv or in a picture, not real life

As soon as they know the real age I'd expect them to be horrified"

(Also having scoped out my 15yos instagram regularly some of the stuff teens are putting on there is insane and I think its a huge problem. Underwear shots, naked backs, captions asking for ratings and messages if "you think they're sexy". I was literally shocked and I'm not even old!)

User you should read @foureyesarebetterthantwo post above she says it better than I could

Everyone is assuming the 19yr old in the OP is male and the 13 yr old female, but the OP didn't specify.It just says 'DC' not DD or DS.

If the 13 year old has gone through puberty then physically they're an adult. So on a medium like TV where you're not actually interacting with them, I can see why a 19 year old might find them sexually attractive.

sorry i went to bed. i agree why are you all assuming my 19 yo is male?

From my brief foray into child law one of the reasons a teen was removed from mothers care by social services was that mum saw nothing wrong in her 13 year old Dd's 19 year old bf staying the night.

The pics here are of a 13 y.o. girl and 19 y.o. man..... Highlighting the glaring differences. She is in a school uniform and he has a goatee, but so what? Just one look at the pics highlights how weird it is.

My DS is 18 and has zero facial hair at all so it is entirely possible to find pictures of younger looking 19 year olds and older looking 13 years olds which would make it look far less weird. I hope the people whose photos you've used know that you've done it or did you just lift them from the Internet?

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying it about a 13 year old, it's just words. Actions are where it counts and I would find a 19 year old actually dating a known 13 year old very weird indeed.

On TV you get much older actors/actresses playing younger characters.

If the 13 year old is particularly mature, and the 19 year old particularly immature I could understand it. But not normal, no.

Start a thread then go to bed. Great.

Can we now by any chance have the full picture OP?

Thinking that someone on TV is "Hot" is not "fancying" them. It's just acknowledging their attractiveness.

i know! i am sorry... i honestly thought it would be quiet at that time of night. the actor is 13 in it (14 now), didn't know that though it's only because i thought they looked really young and had a google.

So who is the actor? And as you say 'actor' not 'actress' is that relevant?

Is the girl from stranger things?

It's this boy here. There as some very young looking pics on the internet so I'm guessing he did something when he was younger too.

I just think he still looks very young. I'm not having a go in anyway just wondered if that was the norm.

Can we have a shot from the show/film you were watching?

Sorry probably not the best pictures but he looks super young!

Ok well if a 19 year old finds those pictures "hot" I'd find that creepy as he looks about 10.

What is the actor's name?

Like getting blood from a stone this.

Sorry bloody hell, how was I supposed to know you wanted a name! I thought pictures would be more helpful.

Jake Brennan.