to think a 19 yo fancying a 13 yo isn't right?

[user1494631282]

dc saw a 13 yo on the tv and described them as 'hot'. aibu to think that just isn't right?

When they are 20 and 26, a lot of growing up and maturing has happened.

Crispsandcheese- lots of girls begin puberty at 8, 9, 10 these days. Many 13yos look like adult women, and aren't going to grow any more. Heck- a lot of my Y6 DD's classmates are taller than me, and have larger chests! By 13, I had the figure I have now- I'm definitely a woman not a child, no-one would ever mistake me for a child.

I think a 13 year old saying a guy on the TV is 'hot' is just typical teenage stuff. Hitting puberty and starting crushes, all perfectly innocent.

To the poster who said they knew of a 13 your old dating a 19 year old, what planet are you on!?! An ADULT dating a CHILD is not normal.

And I would worry whether the 19 year old would really wait 3 years until the child had reached age of consent, its sick.

Seeing not saying

I've seen "hot" guys on tv who are 20 years younger than me!
Doesn't been is actually want to date a 20 year old.

The 19yo probably had no idea the 13yo was 13

My dd has friends who at 14/15 and dressed up to go out look more like uni students or even older.

why on earth would an adult be sexually attracted to a child and think that is 'normal'?!

It's pretty much the ages of Romeo and Juliet. Juliet was just shy of her 14th birthday. In some European countries the age of consent is 14 and historically it's been less than that. Of course this doesn't make it right but I think it gives pause for thought about a 13 year old on TV appearing as a child. As pp have said, many 13 year olds are as physically developed as some 16 year olds. So it's not weird if you're still in your teens yourself to think an older looking 13 year old is physically attractive.

It would be morally wrong to act on that as emotionally there's a huge gap. And legally wrong in most countries. And yes, I think once you know their age then feelings of attraction should wane. But I wouldn't be up in arms about a 19 year old thinking a 13 year old on TV is attractive, especially if it's something like a music video where they're dressed and styled to look 18.

I think it's wrong if you know they're 13 but if age isn't known and they look older it's somewhat understandable

This makes no sense. So what if he sees a girl who looks over 16. but he doesn't know her age and he thinks she is attractive - then he finds out she is 13, what happens to the attraction? It just disappears?

I would imagine it isn't acted upon. IF they look older I don't think being attracted to them physically is such an issue. If you spent time with a 13 yr old as a 19 yr old you would probably get bored quickly as they are so immature.

I think it's normal for a young man to be attracted to a younger girl (teen) but it's not normal for them to act on it. If a 19 year old boy was trying to be in a relationship with my 13 year old I would not allow it to happen.

Just before I was 15 I got involved with a 22 year old, my family didn't stop it, they allowed him into our home and let me meet up with him out of the house. They shouldn't have allowed it, he was abusive, a alcoholic and had a criminal record, he groomed me. It makes me feel sick to think about this happening to my teenage daughter , so to the person who thinks it's ok for a 13 year old to go out with a 19 year old I am afraid I disagree.

Yep bit weird.

At 13, the girl is a child, and at 19, the boy is a man.

The pics here are of a 13 y.o. girl and 19 y.o. man..... Highlighting the glaring differences. She is in a school uniform and he has a goatee, but so what? Just one look at the pics highlights how weird it is.

Thing is, even if it was 17 and 23, it wouldn't be THAT bad, because at least it's legal. 13, and 19? No, just no.

My niece at 13 went out wit a 19 year old. Her mum kept a close eye, but it was not weird

Are you serious? Not only is it weird and wrong, it's illegal if they have sexual relations (which they no doubt will). He's an adult and she's a child

Didn't one of the rolling stones date a 13yo?

How was that allowed?

If a 19 year old declared that my dd (13) was hot I would not be impressed and would conclude he was a paedophile.

Didn't one of the rolling stones date a 13yo? How was that allowed?

I wonder that too sunshine.

Bill Wyman was nearly 50, when he dated Mandy Smith . I think they got married in the end.

Yes but this is also a thirteen year old

(I'm not a weirdo she's from Dance Moms and my 9yo loves her ha)

If they look 13, weird.
If they're 13 but look older not weird.
If it's a character on tv that's 13 then not necessarily, because they're often played by older actresses.
If the 19 year old is very immature not weird.
All depends on the circumstances.
(But there's a big difference between fancying and having a relationship with. A relationship between a 19 y.o and an actually 13 y.o. - nope)

I don't give a fuck how old they look.

13 is 13 is 13.

Op?

If a 19 year old is interested in a 13 year old then they are likely immature and probably unable to find someone their own age. Males do mature later.
At that age even a couple of years is dramatic.

TrinityTaylor - I would say she looks older than 13 but that a lot of 13 year olds also look like that IYSWIM. I can see why 19 year olds would think she's attractive, because she is! That doesn't mean they want to do anything but just stating a fact surely?

Actually I think it's probably the terminology used? Saying a child looks 'hot' is not okay but saying a child is handsome/beautiful is okay?

No 13 year old looks like a grown woman .

*I don't give a fuck how old they look.

13 is 13 is 13.*

Precisely.

Bold failure.

cardi I would describe a 19 year old man dating a 13 year old as a paefophile and your attitude is all kinds of wrong. Yeuk!

Op no it's not normal I have 2 older sons now In their twenties and they would think that was wierd.

There's nothing normal about a man fancying a child snd it doesn't fucking matter how young or old she looks she's a child

In some European countries the age of consent is 14 and historically it's been less than that. Of course this doesn't make it right but I think it gives pause for thought about a 13 year old on TV appearing as a child.

I always find it curious that this is something that we expect to be inherent in people (men, really) now, not finding underage girls attractive, but we don't apply that retrospectively. For example, a lot of PPs are saying it's just 100% wrong for a 19 year old to fancy a 13 year old, regardless of what she looks like. He should just know it's wrong instinctively. But then we still have people who think Elvis was the best thing since sliced bread and nobody thinks he was a paedophile. Or Jerry Lee Lewis. Or Iggy Pop.

I'm not saying it's right by the way. I'm just saying it's curious that we don't apply that judgment to historical cases, even though the same arguments exist that these girls were children at 13.