to think a 19 yo fancying a 13 yo isn't right?

[user1494631282]

dc saw a 13 yo on the tv and described them as 'hot'. aibu to think that just isn't right?

If you google Jake Brennan which I have just done, you find pictures in which he looks young and like a child, then several in which he has either fake tan/tan, and is styled to look like a moody teen with a quiff- he's also 14 now.

So, it's clear that depending how old he is right now, he could look very innocent and like a child in the programme you are watching, or like a teenage boy.

I don't think saying 'he's hot' means you'd be sexually interested in him, it's an acknowledgement he's 'hot' - a child model chosen to be on TV for his looks/cute ways.

Said about a prepubescent, it's a bit odd, but 'hot' doesn't mean 'I'd go and have a relationship with this person' at all.

There have been a few threads lately by user55million where getting info is like getting blood out of a stone.

Sorry that wasn't my intention!

Finally. A name.

Yes have noticed that Patronus.

I've just googled Jake Brennan, and to me he does clearly still look like a child. There is no room for confusion, as there is with many teenagers (especially girls, it has to be said).
So yes, I think describing him as 'hot' is a bit off IMO. I would say cute, or good looking is more appropiate. Hopefully it's just a careless choice of words rather than any underlying motive.

Until you gave the name, i was going to say that it depends on what they look like.

The way some of the girls are made up, they don't look like young teens. Combined with adult models having 'baby faces',then someone young could, in all innocence find them 'hot'.

I agree with a pp, that cute would be a better description.

A young female relative described me as looking hot on one of my pictures (i'd lost four stone), which i found inappropriate, but put it down to me being out of sync.

Nothing wrong with fancying or being friends. Actually dating would be criminal.

also finding someone attractive doesn't automatically mean 'I want sex with them'

"Nothing wrong with fancying or being friends"

The persons age should put you sexually off them. Body wise Jacob (Twilight) was perfect, but as soon as I found out that he was 16/17, i couldn't find him attractive.

Unless its a love of gaming or a hobby, a 19 year old should be too emotionally mature to be real friends with a 13 year old. Male friendships do work differently, so I could see them hanging out etc.

if its about a celebrity, its really a pointless thing -- fancy and fantasize all you want, you'll never get them.
Also, i fancy a lot of actors. Do I want to bed them all? a few maybe... only a few.

In RL -- it could easily be a shared interest, living in a close proximity, family gatherings... not impossible at all.

I'm not sure - attraction is biological, it's not as though the chemicals in your brain that drive you to find someone attractive just don't work on someone pre 16 because society says that's wrong.

I'd worry if the comments were regular or it seemed as if the 19 year old had a fixation on much younger teenagers.

And acting on it in real life of course is wrong and I hope the parents would always intervene although sadly some just don't bother.

Well I'm 19 and he looks far too young for me! That said all the men, I like tend to older and most definitely man looking, never been a fan of the baby faced look, even in high school beiber and 1D didn't do it for me (except maybe zayn a little bit!)

I think with tv/films etc it's somewhat different though, as it can be about the character they are playing.

My boyfriend met me at 13/14 when he was 18 and he fancied me. Didn't ask me out until I was 16 though.

Are you sure she wasn't joking?

No... She wasn't joking.

"Oh he's hot"
"Really? He looks like he's in primary school"
"Well, he's good looking"
"Okay..."
Then I search google...

My partner was a father and had a full time job and mortgage at 19.
There is huge difference between a 13 year old and a 19 year old.
It's wrong and disgusting!

Half the pictures on Google are from when he's younger, it's kind of obvious really!

What she meant is he's good looking/attractive- as she clarified.

I think the chances of her going into a relationship with a 13 year old boy are nil.

YANBU, IMO it is a bit weird, I think 'cute' would be more appropriate. Even ok to say he'll be 'hot' when he's older etc.

When I was 12 I had blokes perving at me, was 'hot', curves etc, I assume they didn't realise I was 12, but still v inappropriate.

I suspect this is all a misunderstanding of the nuances of what teenagers mean when they say "hot".

Just coming back to say, I'm somewhat pleased that everyone assuming it was a man instinctively was wrong

Yes I know it's petty

If the 13 year old was attractive and looked like a 16 year old then it's normal.... if they looked v young then it's not

I think attraction can be normal in those circumstances. Teenagers are looking older and older these days. It is about not doing anything with that attraction! When I was 15, my boyfriend was 16 almost 17. We were in the same year at school, how our birthdays worked. Does that make him a peado? There the same age range, so as long as nothing sexual is happening. I see no real issue. A little distasteful maybe.

In the same way I want my ex to be run over by a bus, and id love to have the chance to be driving that bus! However I know it is wrong to do so, so I abstain.

@user1493759849 the 13 year old in your picture looks the same age as I look ... I'm 22 and most 14-16 year olds look older than me now

Also @TrinityTaylor laughing at the 'naked backS' comment ... it's a back

Okay no ew ... not normal he looks bloody 7 years old shudders

why are you all assuming my 19 yo is male?

I didn't, personally. I gave the example of Romeo and Juliet as the ages are very similar rather than assuming the age gap was that way around.

I'd say the actor was cute or good looking. I wouldn't say hot as that sexualises him which feels very, very wrong as he looks so young. As a one off I wouldn't worry too much about someone still a teen themselves saying he was hot but if it happened with any frequency, yes I'd worry.