Stepmum is getting upset about dds hair

284 replies

mamasita11 · 10/05/2017 20:53

We are a blended family. I have 2 DDs and 1 son. My husband has twin DDs and 2 sons. One of my DDs is the same age as the twins. We have a shared custody agreement with his kids where he has them for one month, their mum has them for the next. I get on well with their mum in general, she's a nice lady. However, yesterday the twins and my DD had a party to go to with a friend of theirs from school (all children attend same school) and I took all three girls because she was busy. Whilst getting my DD ready for the party, I did her hair in space buns with glitter in. Her twins saw what I was doing and asked for the same thing, I did it on them and had a nice time doing it with different colours of glitter and everything. Today I received this message: Hi mamasita11, I'd be very grateful if you didn't do the DDs hair again as I don't like the hairstyle and think it's too old for them. Please let DH do their hair from now on as they're our children and I'd rather their parent did their hair than you.

Is it just me who thinks that's really off or should I just nod my head and agree?

OP posts:

Deidre21 · 12/05/2017 16:26

Agree with HildaOg

crazycatz · 12/05/2017 23:12

It's rubbish and really rather rude but I'd personally let it go. It must be hard for her being away from her girls for a while month. Let their daddy do their hair it's no big deal really is it?!!!

sadmommyhere · 13/05/2017 00:50

She is just being jealous and nasty. There was no need for that, glitter on a school night or not.

A month on and a month off... wow that must be verrrrry hard on both sides. Perhaps this hasn't helped matters.

tigerskinrug · 13/05/2017 00:56

I'm confused....you are the stepmum? Their mum is upset because of the way you (their stepmum) are doing their hair? I have no idea what space buns are, but I do know that there are some styles that I perceive to be tacky not very nice and I wouldn't be overjoyed for my dd's to have their hair in these styles on a regular basis (a one off would be fine) Perhaps this is her way of telling you she doesn't like this style?

Hair aside a month/month arrangement sounds awful for young dc.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/05/2017 02:07

"Let their daddy do their hair it's no big deal really is it?!!!"

Well that rather depends on whether their "daddy" is able to do their hair and has the time.

MsGameandWatch · 13/05/2017 02:43

I wouldn't like it and would tell you so. But I wouldn't ask you for child care in my month either, if their Dad did in his time that's up to him and I wouldn't presume to have a say in that. However I certainly wouldn't respond well to messages from a step parent expressing "rights" to parent my children as a poster put it earlier. She's a nice lady, you get on well, how about just respecting her wishes?

Arkhamasylum · 13/05/2017 08:21

I think your text was great, OP and will hopefully have defused the situation. You seem to have developed a habit of acting in the interest of your SDs. They're lucky to have you.

Lovelymess · 14/05/2017 12:29

She sounds way OTT. Their hair sounds like you did it lovely for a party! I bet the loved it

MaisyPops · 14/05/2017 12:40

She's fine to request in future she would prefer her kids to have more child like hair styles. (I'm with another poster that sees space buns as quite teenager going to a festival).

She's not ok to say "i only want her dad to do their hair because you're not actually their parent". That was a rude and obnoxious thing to say.

Don't take advice and start a row with her though. I'd say 'I wanted to treat all children equally but I'll take your dislike of space h
Buns on board next time I do their hair.' And make some joke about daddy being rubbish at doing hair.

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