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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to never have DP's friend of 30 years in our house ever again after this behaviour?

260 replies

JasmineBuckles · 09/05/2017 16:54

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. DP is 15 years older than me, DP's friend is 20 ish years older than me. For the sake of brevity I'll call him Bob.

We have a thing where we alternate going to each other's house for dinner each month, which has previously been fine as although I get the feeling that Bob can be a bit dismissive of my opinions, his wife is really lovely and very funny so we generally have a nice time.

Last time we had them round to ours a day out involving gin was suggested.

On Saturday we went out for our afternoon of gin. It finished around 5pm and we were a bit tipsy, so we thought we'd go for early dinner.

Finding a table for 4 anywhere decent on a Saturday evening in our city is a challenge, so we rang round a few places and finally got a 6pm table somewhere not super posh but nice.

During this process Bob nips to the loo, and is quite put out that he has not had final say on the booking, and declares he is not hungry.

We all say that as we last ate at 10am, we will be starving by 6/6.30 plus we are a bit drunk.

He begrudgingly comes to the restaurant, sits down and immediately complains that it's too dark, the seats are not comfy and the girl who brought our drinks is fat (!).

Starter comes and mine is gorgeous, he gets waitress over to complain that his is not what he ordered as there is an ingredient in it that he wasn't expecting. Waitress is very polite and shows him where it says on the menu that the dish includes this.

Then the mains come. Ours are all gorgeous, but bigger than we were expecting. He stirs his around his plate til it's all mushed up like a toddler, calls the waitress back and tells her he "can't eat that, it's disgusting."

Waitress asks if she can swap it for something else, he just says, "no, just take it away."

The bill comes. He asks his wife for a pen and starts circling the things he's not paying for, including his wife's chips as she hasn't eaten them.

He then calls his wife a fucking hypocrite for saying she liked her dinner she just couldn't finish it.

I say, in a calm way, that he really shouldn't speak to her like that. I found out later from the wife that as I turn away he mouths "stupid fucking bitch" at me.

My DP hates any picking at the bill in restaurants, so offers just to pay for everyone. Bob isn't happy with this either, he wants to have a strop about the food. His wife gets her card out and offers to pay. He won't let her. The waitress is standing there not knowing what to do.

I have an outdoor, low paid job (this is relevant) and by this point I am monumentally pissed off, so I say, still quietly and calmly, "shall I just pay the bill, because I'd rather stand outside in the pissing rain for 14 hours and earn the money than sit here and listen to you for one more minute."

At this point the poor waitress asks what she should do, and he says:

You'll do as you're fucking well told

Waitress goes off crying, the manager comes folllowed by a bouncer, Bob pays the entire bill by himself and flounces off, leaving his wife sat at the table.

DP thinks we should just put it down to drink and keep having them over. WIBU to say no, never again?

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 29/11/2018 21:48

I find “Heads up” really annoying. How about a different comment?

Far less annoying than ressurecting a dead thread with an inane comnent!

delboysskinandblister · 29/11/2018 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted on OP's request.

FiveShelties · 29/11/2018 22:05

I read the thread until I saw I had posted - wondered if I had done it in my sleep, until I saw date was May 2017!

VeggyGravy · 29/11/2018 22:14

I wouldn't have considered it after the incident, but sure as hell not after dh said you provoked his shitty friend who upset three women in one night.

And yes it is the Op's house and she can tell her husband she won't have men in the house that call her a bitch.

Shocked by posters who think she shouldn't be able to do that

AnnieAnoniMouse · 29/11/2018 22:16

👻🤕👻🤕👻🤕👻🤕👻🤕👻🤕👻🤕👻

ZOMBIE THREAD

SO annoying when ‘people’ do this. I was hoping the OP was updating to say the wife had left ‘Bob’

👺👹🤬👺👹🤬👺👹🤬👺🤬

VeggyGravy · 29/11/2018 22:17

I find “Heads up” really annoying. How about a different comment

Did you really post on an 18 month old thread to have a pop about the way someone phrased a comment?

VeggyGravy · 29/11/2018 22:17

Why isn't it saying Zombie at the bottom, normally it lasts even after people start reposting.

AdoreTheBeach · 01/12/2018 21:22

Man, I read through this thinking there was an updat about this B——- Bob

OP, if you’re still around, let us know

beanaseireann · 02/12/2018 09:03

'Bob the Nob'. 

lightlypoached · 02/12/2018 09:12

yes Bob was an arsehole. I do want to share that a good mate of mine - the loveliest, most polite, generous person ever, came to dinner once and drank G&T with me (not his normal tipple). He turned into a rude man. shocking behaviour. we had to apologise to the waiters. when he sobered up next day he was mortified and bemused and had no idea why he'd been so horrible and rude. he's never drunk gin since, and never been an arse like that again.

I love gin, but maybe it's devil-juice to some? And I have no idea why 1 type of alcohol could/would do that to a person vs, say Vodka. maybe Bob was temporarily an arse? or maybe not!

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