To have 'humiliated' my MIL

[ImALurkerNotAFighter]

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

f I had a family member who was overweight i wouldn't openly serve up a huge portion I would give them a normal one and to me what she served you was a suitable amount of food for breakfast.

I'm bloody glad you're not a member of my family!

And you'd likely be told where to shove your 'suitable' amount of food if my portion size was smaller than everyone elses'.
Who died and appointed you the Food Czar?

She wants to share her diet misery I swear this is what my dh does. I'm a size 6 and he's always been overweight yet is on a perpetual diet. He's always criticising our food choices. When the kids aren't around I just tell him to f&@k off but If the dcs are around I say 'misery loves company, eh?' He still hasn't got the message.

f I had a family member who was overweight i wouldn't openly serve up a huge portion I would give them a normal one

Why not simply give them what they asked for? That's being a good host.

No, she i.e. the OP was not asked!

One shouldn't need to ask to get a standard portion of food when visiting a relation.

Nanny0gg "And you'd likely be told where to shove your 'suitable' amount of food if my portion size was smaller than everyone elses'"

The OP's portion was exactly the same as the MIL's and the SIL's.

The OP's portion was exactly the same as the MIL's and the SIL's.

That´s not "everyone else", though, is it?

And good point, the OP shouldn't have had to ask, to be precise. The MIL should have asked and she should have prepared what the OP wanted.

The OP did ask her mil though. It says so in her first post.

I have nothing helpful to add to this debate except

1. I'm a size 10
2. the phrase 'half a rasher of bacon' makes me want to cry #teamOP #LowCarbftw

I'd leave. She was the one humiliating YOU.
Theres been a disagreement - it's uncomfortable, so leave.

My MIL ( Partners parents, not married but LTR) always serves me the portions she and her husband eat - they are quite overweight and on a diet, me and DP are v slim and it annoys us both. Additionally, DP has bad IBS and has to eat small but frequent where As I am an infrequent eater and thus gorger - we swap plates when penis portions are doled out.
V annoying of people - serve equally and don't be stingy

Fat Acceptance is essential to feminism.
Anyone who has bought into the multi billion pound diet and fitness industry is perpetuating patriarchal oppression

"Fat Acceptance is essential to feminism. Anyone who has bought into the multi billion pound diet and fitness industry is perpetuating patriarchal oppression"

Sorry, but I think that is a load of nonsense. Overweight men diet as well as women.

Fat acceptance is essential to feminism

It is a myth that thin=fit and healthy and fat=unfit, unhealthy.

It is possible to be size 18 and very fit, with lots of muscle as well as fat. It is possible to be size 10 and unfit. Obviously on average there are lots of fat people who are unfit but classifying a fatter body shape as always intrinsically unhealthy is wrong.

Women are genetically predisposed to put on more fat as we get older. It's a survival trait - in prehistoric times it would have helped the grandmas to survive a time of scarcity, meaning that the tribe as a whole gets to preserve knowledge and start thriving again quickly when the good years roll around again.

Our culture depicts photoshopped images of the bodies of 20-yo women who spend every waking hour feeling hungry, and whose exercise regime would be impossible to combine with full time work, childcare and household responsibilities, as the only acceptable standard. Real 40yo women who have stuff going on in their lives that are more important than their physical looks cannot achieve that standard, and can be entirely fit and healthy despite their extra pounds around the middle and buttocks. Accepting this is part of feminism.

How many size 18 women do you know that are that size due to muscle and fat?

There are women who are very tall and big built for whom being a size 18 would really not be that overweight.

All this measuring health by dress size is just .

And the point is that if someone makes the choice to eat too much and be overweight it's up to them. Instead we make them feel shit, they start comfort eating and the problem gets worse.

I disagree that there is no sexism here, men are criticised far less over their weight than women.

"It has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with whether she thought OP was overweight and was 'trying to help'. It is all to do with MiL being rude, controlling and an exceptionally poor host."

No because Mil served OP the same portion she served herself.
If a female friend came to eat with me I would cook about twice what I'd normally cook so she'd have about the same portion as me. I don't think that's rude and I think overcooking when you've got guests and plying them with food is damaging.

"My mother used to do that to some extent as we all had to eat "diet food" when she was trying to lose weight but at least she didn't treat my brothers differently to me."

What's wrong with some diet food if you're not underweight? As long as it's a balanced meal.

"If you had a guest in your house you would not serve half cups of tea/coffee"

Hardly equivalent. The breakfast OP got was adequate.

"And you'd likely be told where to shove your 'suitable' amount of food if my portion size was smaller than everyone elses'.
Who died and appointed you the Food Czar?"

If you had a family member who was an alcoholic would you offer them drink? No, you'd be called an enabler, but if someone is very overweight you're supposed to enable them???