To have 'humiliated' my MIL

[ImALurkerNotAFighter]

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

Navy, did you miss this part of the OP?

I asked MIL if there was any more, she lookend shocked and said no

Even if theOP had asked, there was never going to be more food for her

I'd be livid op, the woman in my family used to do this, huge fuck off mountains of food for the blokes and the dregs for the woman. It used to piss me off even as a child.

It's not about the portion sizes, it's about the assumption that men are deserving of BETTER portions - like a pack of lions. And I say this is a small portion eater.

It's alright everyone saying she should have said something before hand but a) she shouldn't have to and b) people don't like to be seen as greedy.

I would see this one out and then not go again.

So you are saying that the OP was at fault for not asking for a larger portion before eating!!! I've heard it all now...

Hypothetically, if I was cooking breakfast for Wladimir Klitschko and his wife in my dreams, I'd presume as a 6'6" boxer, he probably eats far more food than she does.
But that's not for me to second guess.

They'd still get the same on their plates, with a hot plate in the middle for them to add extra items if wanted. I imagine he'd help himself to more extras than she did.
But maybe I'm wrong, and she actually eats like a horse?!

Or, I'd ask during cooking how hungry they are, and serve more according to their answer. It's not that difficult!

Really, it should be a decent standard portion for everyone, with extra as an option if someone feels cheated and wants more.

That's why I have said throughout the thread that given the OP knows the MIL serves small portions it would have been wiser to let her know before breakfast that she was particularly hungry and would like a lot to eat.

Apart from the fact that most people would feel embarrassed to ask for extra food before eating, why should OP lie and state that she is just particularly hungry on this occasion and imply that she wants more food as a one off. She wants to be treated equally to her DH on all occasions and what is wrong with that!

I'm not sure how OP would have got a larger portion even if she'd asked!

Which man's "share" would it have come from??!!

I think op has had this discussion before. Asking beforehand wouldn't have done anything!

Well what else would you suggest Roomster? Given that we know the MIL serves small portions to the women.

I would suggest that the MIL in law is in the wrong, not just for treating women like second class citizens in the first place but also for the bitchy comment. Therefore, it is the MIL who should be changing her behaviour, not the OP. The OP hasn't done anything wrong and doesn't need advice on what she should/shouldn't have done or shouldn't do in the future.

Sorry, I must have missed this amongst all the fury, but did you actually go for lunch after all that #portiongate twaddle.
I hope you did and I hope you ordered three courses and licked the plates.

Invite them over. Give everyone but her rump steak, triple fried chips and al, the trimming. Serve her a lettuce leaf with a carrot stick and a smile. Please

What anyone else would do is irrelevant. The MIL doesn't serve large portions and the OP knows that. She can either speak to her or not.

The MIL actually serves huge portions for some people but only those with a penis. OP has let her know what she thinks or the small portions already. The ball is now in the ML court and she can either stop treating female guests like second class citizens or accept that she will not see much of her DIL in future.

YANBU. She's rude for saying your DS could just have some of your food, for the 'sly little digs' about your weight and for the comment about your size. She also needs to wind her neck in about whether you visit or not (or was it your DH who said it would be rude for you not to visit?)

Anyway, I'd have left then and there and I wound't visit again.

I cannot believe anyone is defending the MIL on this thread or saying the OP is as bad.

The MIL was shockingly rude, as were the rest of the family - especially the DH - for saying nothing.

You cannot propose to fill the men up with massive generous portions and just give the women what little you think is "adequate". Utterly relegating them to second class citizens, regardless of what you think is healthy. If such a small portion is healthy, give that to the men also.

Poor, poor OP. Being put in a position where she practically had to beg for food, and then be looked apon as making a scene, while the men where given plenty as of right.

And why on earth didn't one of the men, in particular the DH, pipe up with "here have some of mine OP" when MIL said there was no more, rather than her having to make the point of taking it from her DH?

Take loads of snacks with you when you next visit.

My DS would have passed that plate to one of the kids and waited for DiL's to be passed over, then he'd have asked why DiL had got half a frigging rasher and he'd have gone and opened another tin of beans.

And it would be better if she put all the food in the middle of the table and left people to serve themselves according to appetite, but that probably won't happen any time soon!

Or continue as you've sensibly been doing and make sure there isn't a "next visit".

Invite them over. Give everyone but her rump steak, triple fried chips and al, the trimming. Serve her a lettuce leaf with a carrot stick and a smile. Please

please do this