To have 'humiliated' my MIL

[ImALurkerNotAFighter]

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

You absolutely HAVE to go to lunch today and as pp suggested treat it as an eating contest.

2 starters, do a 'same again please' and have 2 consecutive main courses then 2 puddings. However I am petty as fuck and may or may not have done this myself in protest at someone being a twat about portion sizes. I felt sick as fuck after but it was totally worth it.

Also I future if you do ever eat there agin, don't take half of DH meal , just swap plates. Again I have also done this.

If she's feeding you the same as herself and your SIL she isn't singling you out to be rude. If you're going out for lunch the breakfast she gave you was fine, I think you overreacted.

Stay,take her for lunch and order her a kids meal.

itsmine but my food intake is for me to decide.
ENFJ no, the lucky bastard eats what he likes and remains thin
redheadlover i do the same!

I would have done the same or do would have offered me some of his. I'd go to lunch and order her a child's meal but I have a mean streak a mile wide.

Itsnotmesothere "That was very mean to give everyone such an obviously bigger amount."

She didn't. The MIL and SIL had the same amount as the OP.

I've had a word with DH about him being more supportive. The problem is he grew up with this shit so doesnt see it as wierd.

If she genuinely meant well, she'd be apologetic, not 'humiliated'.

Apart from being rude, silly, sexist, demeaning and just wrong, it doesn't even make sense. The difference in recommended daily calorie limits for men and women is only 500 and that was probably more than made up by the extra food on the men's plates at breakfast never mind at the other meals that would follow that day.

My mum does it too. Men's and women's portions

I think your husband should offer to swap with you every time when he knows you don't get enough food there.

She's not humiliated. She's pissed off at being challenged.

She sounds like a real cow. How dare she decide how much you should and shouldn't eat. The comment that at your size you don't realise that was a proper breakfast was also very bitchy and totally wrong! The bitchy comment would make me want to go home too but it might be best to stick it out if only to make it absolutely clear that she is a crap host and you will not be bullied into eating sod all.
As others have mentioned, I think you need to discuss the issue with your DH too as he needs to stand up for you.
You may not be able to change her attitude but you can change her actions/comments.

Good for you for standing up to her!

This thread brings back a specific memory for me.

I have a relative who I had the misfortune of staying with at her villa abroad many years ago. I went with my family (sibling and parents) and the trip was with the purpose of seeing our relative and sort of as an alternative to a 'holiday' as we didn't have a lot of money.

I was a teenager and perfectly normal weight, but our relative was very slim and watched her figure very carefully. She cooked a full meal for us every night we were there, which we were grateful for. However, she would have minuscule portions and would expect us to have the same. We were starving! I once reached for an extra bread roll, only to be told 'no, you've had enough'. And my mum was only allowed one glass of wine a night with her meal

Our relative would also come on trips out with us and dictate which restaurants we went to and what we all ordered, and tell the waiters that we were only ordering main courses - no sides, no desserts or anything. We would try to sneakily buy little packets of biscuits and things from the shop near their house but she would always pick up on it and act terribly offended. It was horrible.

It wasn't sexist though like in this post - she would enforce portion sizes on her husband and my dad as well. I don't know how her husband manages on a permanent basis!

worknamejim tempted, very bloody tempted.
itsmine MIL has barely hidden disgust for anyone overweight. I'm in the obese range. I tend to ignore her. Dysfunctional eating and food attitudes seem very common in her generation.

She gave all the women smaller portions not just you, I'd have just laughed to myself about how old fashioned she is and been grateful, and women on average need quite a few less calories than men that is fact unfortunately , I'm greedier than my dp tho but I'd never have done that at my mil's yabu and rude

How could she have 'meant well'?
I can't see that at all. She was having a dig at the OP and she was called on it!
Good for you OP!

You get yourself out for lunch and have yourself a lovely time eating exactly what you want.

OP - you are not being unreasonable, in the slightest. Size 18 is not fat (I'm around the same size), and even if it were considered so, it is not for your MiL to decide upon what you eat. She is not the boss of you - YOU are in total control of what you choose to eat and when you choose to eat it. I love a cooked breakfast - will sometimes have one, then not have very much all day except for a salad. Sometimes I will have a large breakfast, a large lunch AND a large dinner too. Because I am an adult and that is what I have chosen to eat on that particular day. Because I neither need, nor ask for, advice on what I eat and when I choose to eat it.

Stick to your guns, Lurker - your MiL sounds a right fuckwit [bacon]

(We need a full cooked breakfast emoticon. And Croissants)