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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset friend treated gift like this

292 replies

TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 10:02

Don't you think it's rude when you give someone a present and they show that they dislike it?

I gave a good friend a newborn hooded towel from M&S as a gift when she had her second baby. I could see instantly that she did not look impressed. It was worth similar to what she spent when I had my baby, so it wasn't because it was small or anything. She put it on the arm of the chair, then her eldest child knocked it off and KICKED IT AROUND THE FLOOR, for some time. She did not tell them off. I pretended I did not notice, but I thought it was rude.

Is it a rubbish present for a newborn?

On a separate note, it was actually regifted gift. I often put aside gifts that I recieve with tags on, to regift if I don't need them. However, she would not know that. I received it from a neighbour, but I already had a lot of towels for my baby. But, I acted as if I loved the present when she gave it me! LOL.

OP posts:
londonrach · 07/05/2017 10:28

On the fence here. Its a towel, not going to break, tried mother, why didnt you pick it up. I also suspect she knows its a regift as it be last season stock. Whats so bad about it you had to regift it. I love my hooded towels

Rioja123 · 07/05/2017 10:29

Why do you care? You regifted something you didn't want. It's not like you went out and made some effort/put a lot of thought into buying something.

Nanna50 · 07/05/2017 10:29

Maybe she already had a lot of towels from her first baby and thought you would know this as she is a good friend ... maybe she had previous knowledge of your unwanted towel and just didn't have the energy to pretend to look pleased. Her toddler kicked an unwanted towel around, if anyone should be upset it is the poor unwanted towel Grin

YABU in that you got rid of a towel that you did not want and then got upset becasue apparently the recipient didnt want it either! 'LOL'

LedaP · 07/05/2017 10:29

Surely how much it cost doesnt matter.

However it didnt cost YOU anything. So it definitely doesnt matter in this situation.

You got it, didnt use it so gave it someone else and annoyed they were overjoyed.

I am betting that she sae it in your house and knows its regifted.

You ask if its a rubbish present. Well you thought it was when it was given to you. Maybe shr has loads of towels herself.

DJBaggySmalls · 07/05/2017 10:29

I'd be more worried that the older child is being destructive to the babies things. That could be a displacement activity.

SuperFlyHigh · 07/05/2017 10:30

To be quite honest, it's not that great a present to receive as a good friend (hardly imaginative!) and maybe your friend guessed it could have been re gifted?!

For what it's worth I'm planning to give a mutual but not very close male friend and his SO and their new baby a star blanket which you can fold from notonthehighstreet in a nice colour as a neighbour has one and comments how great it is (seen her use it), it's also original!

SuperFlyHigh · 07/05/2017 10:31

The reaction to it from her child was a bit rude but maybe she's had a tough time with that child and the child being jealous of the new baby etc?

Aeroflotgirl · 07/05/2017 10:31

I woulden't know anything is a regift if it had the labels on! A towel never goes out of fashion, duck towels have been going on for years. I have bought my pregnant friend one for her baby as its practical and, it won't be outgrown for a while. I also bought bibs too, as they are always useful. I bought them several months in advance, as I am organised like that. Gosh I hope they don't go out of fashion.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/05/2017 10:32

hooded towels are always in fashion.

TheFaerieQueene · 07/05/2017 10:33

It is fucking rude of her. I can't see how anyone could think otherwise.

ZanyMobster · 07/05/2017 10:33

No need to be rude to you, she should have said thank you but probably like you she had loads already? Also if I had spare stuff I would either pass on for free or sell them if need be. I would never have passed them on as their newborn gift as I would put thought and effort into buying a specific gift.

That said I loved receiving baby gifts and if I had received 10 towels then I would have probably happily used all of them.

SleepFreeZone · 07/05/2017 10:33

I wouldn't have done that no, but some people are pretty rude nowadays so it doesn't surprise me that you are being made to feel like you are at fault somehow.

ZanyMobster · 07/05/2017 10:36

It still doesn't excuse rudeness regardless of course!

DJBaggySmalls · 07/05/2017 10:37

No her child's reaction wasn't rude, it was aggressive. I'd be concerned about it.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2017 10:37

YABU. What's it to you? You gave it to her.

NeonGod73 · 07/05/2017 10:38

This is extremely rude, and the little sod kicking the towel was unacceptable. Good grief!

PaintingByNumbers · 07/05/2017 10:39

meh
she gave it the same thought and consideration you did
I never really forgot a good friend of mine regifting me a baby outfit for my baby. its the dishonesty not the concept of regifting. i'd rather it wasnt presented as a 'specially chosen gift'. fine in general, not fine from a good friend as a newborn baby gift. you could have bought or made something plus passed the towel along as an extra

SuperFlyHigh · 07/05/2017 10:42

Exactly painting even a small cute but well chosen cot toy (teddy) would have gone well with the hooded towel.

user1489179512 · 07/05/2017 10:43

Loving the expression "regifted". You were unappreciative about a gift kindly given to you but you were offended when the gift you had not appreciated was not appreciated by someone else?

Wonderful.

Pepsi13max · 07/05/2017 10:44

Yes it was extremely rude of her, I am surprised so many people here think you are the unreasonable one.

Gabilan · 07/05/2017 10:45

it was actually regifted gift. I often put aside gifts that I recieve with tags on, to regift if I don't need them....I already had a lot of towels for my baby

She may well be in the same situation. That poor towel would have been going around and around being regifted for years. Except the toddler has kicked it so it will need washing and is stuck with her now.

I don't think I'd worry too much. Unless it's part of a much larger pattern, chalk it up to tiredness and stress. You didn't want the towel and she's not bowled over either.

ProfessorBranestawm · 07/05/2017 10:47

Possibly she didn't tell the kicking child off (how old?) because she was too tired to care

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 07/05/2017 10:52

Also if I had spare stuff I would either pass on for free or sell them if need be. I would never have passed them on as their newborn gift as I would put thought and effort into buying a specific gift

Exactly. I would have handed it over unwrapped with the explanation I had received it , never needed or used it but hope she can. I would have bought and wrapped a real present.

If money was tight and I could not afford a real present I would have bought a card and simply said, sorry I'm struggling but still would have passed on the unwanted item, not "re-gifted" it.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/05/2017 10:53

We got a load of Hooded baby towels when ds was born, they are useless beyond tiny new born stage even then a proper towel is better, not surprised you regifted. Not surprised she wasn't overly excited.

SaucyJack · 07/05/2017 10:57

I'd need to see a picture of the towel before commenting.

Was there anything particularly nice about it that made you think she'd want it any more than you did?

I like this towel. I might buy it for the cat.