To be upset friend treated gift like this

[TooTiredAgain]

Don't you think it's rude when you give someone a present and they show that they dislike it?

I gave a good friend a newborn hooded towel from M&S as a gift when she had her second baby. I could see instantly that she did not look impressed. It was worth similar to what she spent when I had my baby, so it wasn't because it was small or anything. She put it on the arm of the chair, then her eldest child knocked it off and KICKED IT AROUND THE FLOOR, for some time. She did not tell them off. I pretended I did not notice, but I thought it was rude.

Is it a rubbish present for a newborn?

On a separate note, it was actually regifted gift. I often put aside gifts that I recieve with tags on, to regift if I don't need them. However, she would not know that. I received it from a neighbour, but I already had a lot of towels for my baby. But, I acted as if I loved the present when she gave it me! LOL.

OP, please don't let the stern opinions on here deter you from regifting quality items! I do not see the problem in it. Especially for a baby, when it's items that will come in very handy. Like you said- money is tight and I would do the same thing. No matter what people say about it being right or wrong, I can guarantee that people wouldn't understand if you turned up and said 'sorry I can't afford to buy you a gift but I was given this and I don't want it so I'm giving it to you'. I would never regift for an adult, I would want to get then something I know would be personal to them,but in this instance though I can see why you have done it. They are good quality items so why not regift for a little baby. Unless they have specifically asked for things, and you are going to give them something they didn't want, but I doubt that has happened in this situation.
I'm regards to the 4 year old. Perhaps since the baby is getting lots of attention, she is just readjusting to the new ways of discipline. I can imagine they may be a little jealous and deliberately acting out. I would try not to be too hard on her with that. My mom friends are always doing things that I question, and we just have to accept that we all have our own ways of dealing with things. Would you have told him off it it was your child? I assume you would, but it is best not to get caught up on it. She may well confide in you in a week or so that she doesn't know how to deal with the jealous behavior/that they are not adusting well to their new sibling.
In terms of the reaction... perhaps she wasn't over joyed with the towel. Who knows. If you're feeling bothered by it, perhaps try and get her a token gift? A little wallet card or something a bit more sentimental?
IMO I would just let it go for now and see what transpires over the coming weeks. Please don't let people put you off regifting brand new baby items though. Especially in your financial situation when nowadays you are expected to visit with a present.

Not sure why you are upset. It's not like you made a special effort to buy something for her baby. It was a registered. Get over it and move on

Karma. You were cheapskating and she was rude. Quits there.

Bargain queen I have a "stern" opinion on it. I see no problem with re gifting per se. I see a problem with passing on something for the sake of it with no thought. Op didn't want it because she already had loads of towels etc and I bet her good friend is the same especially as it's her second. Also she calls her a good friend. I'd be upset if a good friend had put no other thought into a present other than looked in a box of unwanted stuff and just grabbed something rather than put thought in it.

Oh gush!! I find it odd that posters think that you're rude for regiftting a present but your friend wasn't for showing lack of appreciation! She's allowed to be rude because your present was a regift even thought she didn't even know that it was a regift!! I wonder what some of the comments on here would have been if you hadn't mentioned that it was a regift!!

Also, I have a one year old baby and I'm still using his hooded towels that we received as presents !!! How can a hooded towel be a useless present ... don't babies have baths??! I must surely be missing something here !!!

OP- I got loads of presents for my baby and a lot of them were duplicates ( considering we have very few baby shops in the U.K.) and stuff that I didn't want. I've had two friends who have had babies after me and I've managed to regift some of these to them. Whenever I visisted them I would regift an item to them and they seemed very pleased( I would occasionally get pics of the baby wearing or using that item ! )
I am financially comfortable but I didn't see the point of having lovely presents from shops like white company going to waste because it's wrong to regift!!!

Considering it's her second baby , perhaps take something more useful next time. I had a lady at my church who's fairly low on income buy me baby cutlery from the pound shop ( she told me they were from there) which are some of my most useful and appreciated presents. Next time just spend £5 on items which people might not get yet are useful at the same time. X

I had an elderly relative who was a keen regifter. Effectively any gift you got her went in a drawer unopened and unused and then whenever it was an occasion to buy someone a gift she would just take something and hand it over.

The issue was some of it got old, some of it wasn't suitable, some of it had writing on the labels she hadn't spotted and some of it she would forget who gave her it and when, get it wrong and then give it back to someone's who either gave it to her or was there when she got it.

We all accepted she did it, everyone knew, but there was something just s bit off about it, knowing your gifts absolutely wouldn't be used and would be given to someone else and knowing any gift you got from her was originally a gift to her. You'd try to fake it but were always a bit "yes, cheers for that" . 🙄

There is just something a bit meh about someone giving you a gift and pretending they got it for you when you know it's just an unwanted item of theirs.

i have a similar experience when I was given a baby towel, completely accidently, I said in a sarcastic voice, "oh a towel, I needed that"
The shock on the givers face. I absolutely didnt mean for it to come out but I guess I was overwhelmed with the whole present giving baby thing going on.

i imagine she was tired and the toddler was being a toddler, demanding attention which she was ignoring.
i havent read thread so no doubt this has been pointed out already.

No problem with regiftung. Getting upset over it being spurned is an over-reaction.

Wow!! It's a towel.. I had some of those hooded towels given to me for my 1st baby and found them a faff, then I got given more when I had my 2nd baby 11 years later and didn't bother even opening them.. 15 months later I had another baby and got given even more!!! I think it's a bit of a rubbish present tbh and you obviously think so too as you didn't want it either!

I don't agree with regifting as it seems like you are saying 'not good enough for me but here, you can have it'.. if I get a gift that I don't like I either sell it or take it back/exchange it. Also as a mum of two toddlers 15 months apart, I would probably do the same as the new mum in question. If the toddler is occupied and happy then why stop him!?!? Towels need to be washed before you use them anyway

Hmm, yes it's rude, she should try to look appreciative but it also sounds like you're giving a TOTALLY crappy gift and expecting a rapturous response to make yourself feel better about it!

Was it a tacky looking towel? Maybe she already has a load of towels (esp as it's a second baby) and found it a totally thoughtless, meaningless gift?! If something looks like an afterthought, a re-gifted reject or just something which doesn't take her taste into account, she might be a bit miffed.

It's not that re-gifting is wrong but gifts should always be chosen carefully, taking into account the recipients personal taste. I always choose things that I believe the person will really love and or that they genuinely need. An M & S towel would never be an option!! It's not what you spend, it's the thought you put into it.

For less money you could buy a beautiful merino bonnet or something?

something like this lanabambini.co.uk/store/knitted-merino-bonnet.html

NormaSmuff - lol!!!

Just get off the dreadful git giving hamster wheel.

You can never win what with 'only organic cotton, 'lethal teddies stuffed with poisonous stuffing', 'awful Mil charity shop finds','unsuitable' 'age inappropriate' and as we see now, useless hooded baby towels' .

I tell you the freedom of 'just looking' and then putting back on the shelf is worth it.People have too much stuff to appreciate kind 'thoughts'.

"Git giving". Yup, sums up the whole minefield!

OP hasn't said whether the friend did or did not say "thank you", although a lot of posters have assumed. OP only mentioned the friend 'looking' unhappy/ungrateful. If she said "thank you" then job done. You cannot pretend to like everything you are given and some people hate being put on the spot with opening gifts. I am one of those, it makes me uncomfortable to open things in front of people and it has, on occasion, made me seem quite bad mannered.

OP was also given the towel as a present from a neighbour, but did not need it or want it, as it was her second child. Why would her friend, in the same circumstances, be any different?

A toddler kicking the towel is bad mannered but again OP makes no mention of what the friend was doing while this happened. Was she sitting watching and ignoring it? Was she dealing with the baby? Did the toddler kick it out the way once or twice or repeatedly do it up and down the room? Why didn't OP just pick it up?

Also 're-gifting' as in giving something you didn't need or use to someone is completely different to wrapping up another present and passing it off as your own. By all means pass on something you no longer use or would use, but don't dress it up as something it isn't.

As for OP, the towel did not cost the same as the gift your friend gave you. You did not buy it. It cost you nothing. That statement was completely irrelevant.

I can't re gift because I always feel guilty and I feel that they can tell as we all unconsciously give off signals in our posture. Mind you I'm also the type to feel a frosty atmosphere when there isn't one - It's in my paranoid imagination! I am only just learning at the grand old age of fifty that not everything is my fault, and sometimes I am actually right! I used to always defer to other person when there was a difference of opinion, but have since realised that I was actually right and the other person was wrong! I also take pleasure in thoughtful gifts. I don't care what they cost and I miss the days when my kids used to make little presents in school or at their nanas house!