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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset friend treated gift like this

292 replies

TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 10:02

Don't you think it's rude when you give someone a present and they show that they dislike it?

I gave a good friend a newborn hooded towel from M&S as a gift when she had her second baby. I could see instantly that she did not look impressed. It was worth similar to what she spent when I had my baby, so it wasn't because it was small or anything. She put it on the arm of the chair, then her eldest child knocked it off and KICKED IT AROUND THE FLOOR, for some time. She did not tell them off. I pretended I did not notice, but I thought it was rude.

Is it a rubbish present for a newborn?

On a separate note, it was actually regifted gift. I often put aside gifts that I recieve with tags on, to regift if I don't need them. However, she would not know that. I received it from a neighbour, but I already had a lot of towels for my baby. But, I acted as if I loved the present when she gave it me! LOL.

OP posts:
BeMorePanda · 07/05/2017 13:19

X post with SnapJack

user1489179512 · 07/05/2017 13:19

Think the towel kicking child must have been a toddler. That is a reasonable assumption to make.

much eye rolling

user1489179512 · 07/05/2017 13:21

Some posters clutch at straws in order to bolster their "argument". Haha

user1489179512 · 07/05/2017 13:23

Clearly, the toddler was not overly impressed, either.

SnapJack68 · 07/05/2017 13:24

panda haha great minds

Maybe it wasn't the eldest child at all.. maybe this was a typo and it was in fact the new mother's husband kicking the towel around the floor for some time!

I also think not ideal for a gift to be locked about the floor in front of the giver but with a new baby (and a husband like this if i am right about the typo theory) then the receiver of the gift has a.lot on her plate so probably just didn't clock it

Also think it s not an appropriate regift.. I am not against re gifting but would save it for a first time mum

Wondermoomin · 07/05/2017 13:41

YABU to be upset. It's a pretty crap present for a second baby, she probably has loads of baby towels already so will have to regift it as well. If you're going to regift something, at least make sure it's a good gift for the recipient.

Yes she should've stopped her child kicking it around the floor, but compared to your own lack of thought and effort it's not that bad.

FrancisCrawford · 07/05/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madcatwoman61 · 07/05/2017 13:45

Since when did gift giving become all about the giver - some very entitled people on here! This is a woman with a new baby and a toddler, probably very tired and stressed out. Take a toy for the toddler and make the woman a cup of tea, don't spend hours on social media dissecting her reaction to something you passed on as a gift because you didn't want it yourself. FFS

KoalaDownUnder · 07/05/2017 13:47

What did you give to the older brother/sister? smile

If you didn't IMHO YABU cos that is horrible to visit and not give a present to the toddler just for a new baby that doesn't even know about anything and ignore the older sibling

What the what, now?! Okay, it's nice to take a gift for the older sibling as well, but it's by no means required. It's not 'horrible' to only take a gift for the child who's birth is being celebrated. Hmm

PortiaCastis · 07/05/2017 13:48

If you didn't pay for the towel OP wtf are you carrying on about?

5moreminutes · 07/05/2017 14:07

"I haven't seen any photos of the items being used"

Shock

The batshit "its all about meeeeeeeeeeee" gift givers appear on every thread about any aspect of giving and receiving presents don't they. The unspoken requirements some people have around being sufficiently thanked and acknowledged are astounding.

What were the items? If an age appropriate toy (although what is age appropriate for a newborn? I guess a cot teddy) or an outfit (although some people receive so many its near impossible to use them all before they are outgrown and many newborns would protest loudly and at great red faced screaming length about being dressed and undressed unnecessarily for a photoshoot to show off all gifted outfits, especially unappealing for an inexperienced and sleep deprived first time parent) it is more likely to occur to someone than a sterilizer or a changing unit...

Cagliostro · 07/05/2017 14:10

Today 12:11 Gabilan

And if you hold a guinea pig up by the tail its eyes will drop out

If you're holding its tail, it's not a guinea pig.

Today 12:11 Gabilan

I may have missed the point on that one.

:o :o

SnapJack68 · 07/05/2017 14:13

Oh behave FranCraw

Yes it's an assumption but most probably a safe one to make and posters can see for themselves it's not a fact if they read the OP

OP how.old is your towel kicking child?

Guesses below please... I personally vote age 17

FrancisCrawford · 07/05/2017 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 07/05/2017 14:19

It simply wouldn't occur to me to take a photo of a gift being used, I was not aware gratitude should go so much further than a genuine and polite thank you for some people. I find it very strange to have that need to be honest.

SnapJack68 · 07/05/2017 14:22

Looks around for saucy

flyingpinkduckgirl · 07/05/2017 14:28

Yes she was a bit ungracious about the gift, there's a bit of an etiquette to gift giving and receiving and allowing it to be kicked around the floor isn't on.

In the flip side though, not the best gift, I never used a hooded towel and I can't really see them being super useful. Plus it was actually a gift to you that you didn't like so it wasn't exactly thoughtful was it?

So all in all, you've both been a little bit crap but you're both frazzled new mums and can be excused..... Let it go!

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 07/05/2017 14:40

So you gave a second hand item away as you didn't want it and disguised it as a gift? Little wonder they weren't thrilled.

VestalVirgin · 07/05/2017 14:49

You gave her a towel you hadn't even bought yourself, and are offended that it was kicked over the floor, which will not do much harm to an ordinary towel? Sorry, but YABU.

I would see your point if it was a hand-knitted item or you had spent hours embroidering a towel, but if it is just an ordinary, store-bought towel, you're massively overreacting.

Yes, it would be more polite to keep the other child from kicking it over the floor, but considering she's likely stressed, you should cut her some slack.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 07/05/2017 14:54

At least she didn't say "Stop kicking that darling or I won't be able to give it someone else."

Cagliostro · 07/05/2017 14:56

:p

Cagliostro · 07/05/2017 14:56

That was supposed to be :o to cheese

KoalaDownUnder · 07/05/2017 15:08

I do think it's rude to let someone kick a gift around on the floor, in front of the giver. Doesn't matter what the gift is.

Not something I'd give too much thought to, though.

BarbaraofSeville · 07/05/2017 15:11

Maybe the friend was going to wash it anyway, so it doesn't matter whether it was kicked around the floor by the other child. Maybe she was too knackered to care.

I've always thought a lot of people make gift giving all about them, rather than the recipient. Even when people don't want anything, they insist of giving something, when nothing would be preferred, to avoid the need to pretend to like something, or find a use for it.

Gift does sound nice though, for once. At least it isn't some piece of tat like a photo frame or a candle that she has to display and pretend to like, even if she hates it. And she doesn't have to keep it forever, as newborn will grow out of it, so she can pass it on, guilt free.

zukiecat · 07/05/2017 15:28

Don't people have manners any more?!

It doesn't matter what you are given, how tired you are, whether it cost you ££££s or nothing at all

You smile and thank the person

As for some posters saying it's fine to let a toddler kick it about the floor, well words fail me Shock

Not the toddlers fault of course, but what an attitude to teach them

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