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Original poster

To be upset friend treated gift like this

292 replies

TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 10:02

Don't you think it's rude when you give someone a present and they show that they dislike it?

I gave a good friend a newborn hooded towel from M&S as a gift when she had her second baby. I could see instantly that she did not look impressed. It was worth similar to what she spent when I had my baby, so it wasn't because it was small or anything. She put it on the arm of the chair, then her eldest child knocked it off and KICKED IT AROUND THE FLOOR, for some time. She did not tell them off. I pretended I did not notice, but I thought it was rude.

Is it a rubbish present for a newborn?

On a separate note, it was actually regifted gift. I often put aside gifts that I recieve with tags on, to regift if I don't need them. However, she would not know that. I received it from a neighbour, but I already had a lot of towels for my baby. But, I acted as if I loved the present when she gave it me! LOL.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 07/05/2017 15:31

I think it's bad manners to regift! Unless it's genuinely what you'd buy them anyway - unlikely. If it's her second she likely has enough baby bath towels.

I agree she didn't seem appreciative but she may just be struggling with the new baby.

KoalaDownUnder · 07/05/2017 15:47

I'm not following the 'bad manners to regift' thing (even though I've literally never done it).

As long as the item is brand new with tags on, and neither the original giver not the recipient know it's a regift, what is the problem? Confused

In a world where there's so much excess stuff going to landfill, it seems eminently sensible. If I like the gift, why would I care whether the giver got it from a shop or from someone else?

NoSandPlease · 07/05/2017 15:51

I think it's a bit obvious you regifted it. A towel is a very impersonal present and she probably has lots of towels since it's her second child. Maybe she was disappointed you hadn't chosen something more meaningful.

However, it was rude to let toddler kick it around.

2014newme · 07/05/2017 15:52

If she already has a child then, like you, she will likely already have plenty of hooded towels. It's not a great gift. However she shouldn't have let toddler kick it but if I was you I would just have picked it off the floor.

Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:16

Would just like to add that the towel was lovely and I did like it! That wasn't why I gave it to her. I put it in my re-gift pile because I already had a lot of towels. Still reading through these posts! Been out all day.

OP posts:
2014newme · 07/05/2017 16:22

But likely she had plenty of towels already as well, especially as she already has a child. No matter how marvellous the towel, you didn't want it and sounds like she didn't either. A towel is never a great gift is it!

Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:23

Hmmmm I think it makes a difference that she did not know I re-gifted it. I thought it was a nice present.

As for the 'worth' comment - how much something is worth means nothing to me. I was just trying to work out why she pulled such a face. I anticipated that some people may say it was because it's a small present for a good friend, but that is normal for us.

OP posts:
hmmwhatatodo · 07/05/2017 16:24

TooTired, your friend was just plain rude and its as simple as that!

Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:26

It seems to have split people's opinon this one.

Perhaps a towel isn't a nice gift after all. I only had a lot of towels myself as a friend gave me loads that she had finished with them. Actually I hardly had any for my first child, so I did not presume that she would have lots.

I regift items beause we don't have a lot of money to buy presents. I only save really nice stuff with tags still on.

OP posts:
SnapJack68 · 07/05/2017 16:34

OP how old was the child kicking the towel?! We need to know for the toddler vs teenager towel kicker debate!!

2014newme · 07/05/2017 16:34

My summary ;
-Regifting is fine
-Your friend was rude to pull a face and let child kick the towel
-A towel isn't a good present especially for 2nd child where the recipient likely has plenty of towels already (as you did, hence the regift)
-That doesn't change the fact that the recipient was rude. All gifts should be accepted with courtesy. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was knackered and may be struggling to even think straight and this affected her manners.

Only1scoop · 07/05/2017 16:35

It was yourself that compared the 'worth' to he gift to you.

Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:36

The child had just turned four.

I feel bad know that i gave her a crap present. Perhaps I should make her something!

I'm seeing another friend with a newborn tomorrow and was going to give her a baby sleeping bag that I'm re-gifting with tags on! :-s Do I need to go out now and buy her a different present?

OP posts:
derxa · 07/05/2017 16:37

I'm seeing another friend with a newborn tomorrow and was going to give her a baby sleeping bag that I'm re-gifting with tags on! :-s Do I need to go out now and buy her a different present? Shock

expatinscotland · 07/05/2017 16:39

Dear god! Regifting is so tacky.

Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:41

To put it into context Derxa - I have five friends who are all having babies over two months. I can't afford to buy that many new presents. Money is short. So what do you suggest I do? Would it be better to turn up with no present?

OP posts:
Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:42

There are a lot of people on here who obviously have a lot of spare cash. They are nice gifts! This baby sleeping bag is a JoJo Mama Babe. It's brand new.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 07/05/2017 16:43

Just write them a nice card or make something, but I can almost guarantee they know you're passing on stuff you don't want.

derxa · 07/05/2017 16:44

Oh OK. I understand. But don't expect deep gratitude

dementedma · 07/05/2017 16:44

Regifting quality unused gifts is fine.
Ops friend was ungrateful and ill mannered, and toddler should have been reprimanded and gift put up out of reach.
I would be bloody furious if a gift I had given was kicked around the floor. Manners cost nothing. Op is right to be pissed off.

SnapJack68 · 07/05/2017 16:48

Don't feel bad op. Especially if short on money. Nothing wrong with regifting at all.

Sleeping bag a useful gift.

Person above saying regifting is tacky can have that opinion if they want but that's only their opinion and I don't agree with it.

If money no obstacle then yes can give away to charity if you wouldwant to choose a totally different gift or choose your wn gift for the sake of it but it makes sense to regift if given lots of the same gift as can then use the money saved to buy other things you need that didn't get given but really need and would struggle to afford

The people who got you the gift in first place like you enough to get you a gift and would want what's best for you.

Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:48

I don't expect deep gratitude! I said that I imediately saw she did not like the gift. She pulled a miserable face and practically tossed it aside. I would never do that, even if I did not like the gift.

If I hadn't mentioned it was a regift, I wonder whether the responses on here would be different!

OP posts:
Original poster
TooTiredAgain · 07/05/2017 16:51

Snap - Exactly. If someone buys me something really nice, but I don't need it, I think - 'Well that's a tenner I've saved that I would have had to spend in the future, buying someone a gift'. That's a tenner that will go on food, or something my child needs.
I wouldn't save things that I thought looked cheap or did not have tags, or could be identified as regifted, etc.

OP posts:
Yura · 07/05/2017 16:55

Two answers: yes, she was rude. But also, yes, it is a rubbish present, especially for a second child (after 2 children we own 16 hooded towels and 12 baby blankets. We only ever used 2 of the towels, the rest us new in pack). But, she should have been more polite as it is the thought that's counts, not the present itself

Yura · 07/05/2017 16:57

Adding: both hooded towels and baby blankets are the kind of gift I find it hard to be enthusiastic about, because everybody gives them, and you only ever need one or two towels, and I've never used a baby blanket (SIDS risk when they are tiny, and when they are bigger they get a warm suit/footmuff/sleepingbag)

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