To be upset friend treated gift like this

[TooTiredAgain]

Don't you think it's rude when you give someone a present and they show that they dislike it?

I gave a good friend a newborn hooded towel from M&S as a gift when she had her second baby. I could see instantly that she did not look impressed. It was worth similar to what she spent when I had my baby, so it wasn't because it was small or anything. She put it on the arm of the chair, then her eldest child knocked it off and KICKED IT AROUND THE FLOOR, for some time. She did not tell them off. I pretended I did not notice, but I thought it was rude.

Is it a rubbish present for a newborn?

On a separate note, it was actually regifted gift. I often put aside gifts that I recieve with tags on, to regift if I don't need them. However, she would not know that. I received it from a neighbour, but I already had a lot of towels for my baby. But, I acted as if I loved the present when she gave it me! LOL.

Whatever the provenance of the towel, it was rude of the recipient to let it be kicked around. However nasty the gift, you smile, say thank you (and then grumble in private about it if you think it was a re-gift).

I think the "regifting" is actually a red herring. I think the very worst thing is when you've spent a good deal of time and effort in choosing a present for someone and they look down their nose at it. I know on MN and in RL sometimes (ie sil) say that you shouldn't have to be grateful for unsolicited presents. But, really - manners, people!

Bit of a cross post, rowingboat! Exactly what I was trying to say. You make a special effort and then... giving it to the dog!

Sorry towel is useful and I think different as you get so many clothes, it's less likely to be unusable! outrageous not to take it off the toddler replace with something else that won't get dirty and put the gift out of the way, if she already has them then she can also regift, but not when it's been used as a floor duster - utter waste!

I must admit I have bought people towel sets for new babies . I had no idea that they were in the same category as Fruit Shoots.

The OP is hilarious!
To completely and utterly miss the irony of the situation.
She fakes delight and then squirrels away to regift. Subsequently gets in an arse when the person she regifts it to doesn't fake it like she did.

Both the towel & sleeping bags are nice gifts - I'd like them both.

There's nothing wrong with regifting IF you think the person you're giving them to will like them. Your friend was spectacularly rude. Hopefully your friend you're seeing tomorrow has better manners, but don't not give her the sleeping bag simply because your other friend was rude.

Not the point of the thread, but if you have any, those small hooded towels are perfect to wrap hair in after washing for older children and adults! As a present, it is more suitable for a first baby though OP. Not much thought went in, it didn't cost you anything & it was a gift unwanted by you. It's not worth being upset over it. YABU.

Use it upside down, with the hooded part at the base of the head

blinkity There's no irony here. The OP said she liked the gift, she just had no use for it as she's already been given loads.

The 'friend' was being spectacularly rude.

So you have missed the irony too!

I would have been happy and thankful. Maybe because as a new mum I had bugger all friends. I wouldn't take anything for granted.

Wow I'm surprised people have such strong feelings about regifting tbh! If it's new with tags and a nice thing then it's fine!
I think your friend was rude but I would excuse her since she's just had a baby!

A friend of mine gave me loads of her DC's used muslin cloths as a gift. She didn't have to get me anything. Even if I don't use them I smiled and said thank you. You don't passive aggressively show you don't like something or wanted something "better" - that's spoiled behaviour.

TBF what she did was ungrateful and a little bit rude.

But you re-gifted/off loaded on a supposed "good" friend, a piece of tat you didn't want for your baby, not thinking she might not want it for the same reasons. Second baby, already has loads of towels.

Re gifting to me is for casual acquaintances. I would take great care choosing a lovely, useful present or voucher for a good friend. Not look in a box of stuff I didn't want for myself to off load.

My bil.and sil.got a pack.of bibs and socks for my 2nd child. Used the socks but never used the bibs as have loads. I will be regifting and I don't care about people regifting to me. I hate waste.

Actually, think it's a bit rude to have re-gifted as a newborn gift. Yes her reaction might have been off but her excuse is she's just had a baby and might have been having a really crappy day. If you didn't need/want the towel why not just go over with it and say "I was given this and never got round to using it but thought it might be helpful to you, if not no issue"?

If you didn't need/want the towel why not just go over with it and say "I was given this and never got round to using it but thought it might be helpful to you, if not no issue"?

Exactly. You are not "regifting" (and that really is a horrible made up word) you are getting rid of something you don't want or need.

I think it's not the best behaviour but I've had a situation where one of children was given something and one of the others knocked it and played with it after sitting on it. I felt a bit bad at the time but could barely see/focus due to no sleep new born situation!

I am never sure why new mothers are allowed to get away with rudeness. Saying thank you, it is lovely is a normal thing to do. She didn't give birth to a lack of manners.

Sure it doesn't seem the finest demonstration of appreciation, but she has a brand new baby and a toddler. She might just be totally out of it and not herself at the moment. When I go to see friends with their new babies I generally don't expect much as far as acting happy, grateful, or entertaining... knowing they are typically out of their minds exhausted and still adjusting to life with a new child.

Sorry but a towel as a gift, that is not a special gift to give a good friend and it shows by the fact you've regifted it.

No problem to regift especially a sleeping bag. Always useful. Your friend won't know.

Is your friend normally rude? If not I would let it go and pretend it didn't happen. She is probably mortified about her 4 year old. My dd was 5 when ds was born and she loved having a brother but also had a hard time dealing with the change. Behaviour and routines went crazy. I had guilt that she was getting as much attention any more so let her away with it more than I should have which made it worse. Few weeks down the line I had to get things back to normal and establish the boundaries again.

New mum is hard. Maybe u were more sensitive about this than normal too.

Definitely nothing to feel guilty about regifting. Take sleeping bag tomorrow. X

OP - your friend was ostensibly rude, but maybe she is knackered/has pnd. Regifting is absolutely fine. I think you need to stop worrying about others' opinions, especially from people on here (who you don't know)!!

Sorry but a towel as a gift, that is not a special gift to give a good friend and it shows by the fact you've regifted it

The OP got it from her neighbour. From a neighbour it's a nice gesture, not very exciting but safe.

Interesting points of view on here!
I was given a hooded towel for my second child and thought it was a lovely gift and has been really useful.
I wouldn't take offence at your friend's reaction, OP. She's probably tired and I guess you can't damage a towel by kicking it onto the floor. Some people are a bit thoughtless when receiving gifts. One of my best friends has hardly ever thanked me for gifts I have bought her and her children over the years. It is rude, but I know she appreciates them - just has no social graces!!