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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my other halfs an a-hole!

185 replies

meg180611 · 05/05/2017 00:08

We had the in laws for dinner tonight, so obviously I had to tidy and clean all the rooms they would see...also make the dinner for 5, which isn't the norm for me so a bit of a task. As well as take care of/feed/change and entertain our 5 month old daughter. Oh and do washings/hang out/bring in/fold put away. Also visit my mother with said child who was complaining she hadn't seen her since Sunday. (Sigh)

SO I thought, easiest thing to make? Pasta! Let OH know this when he txt asking the usual what's for dinner, his response... "can you not be a bit more imaginative? We have pasta all the time" I let it go and explained it's easy for me with the baby to just shove a pot of pasta on..

So I made a bit of an effort and put chicken in the pasta, and do you know what the first word he said to me before he even said hello? "Chickens a bit over cooked" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AIBU to continue to not speak to him until I get an apology? I know it sound pathetic but when you try and please and it gets shot down so harshly, really makes you resent them. It's even more annoying that he doesn't even think he's being sh*tty to me.

This is just an example of how most things he says/does since the baby infuriate me, do I just suck it up?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 12:01

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DeleteOrDecay · 05/05/2017 12:06

Do people with small babies really not cook?

Of course they do but surely anyone who's had dc can appreciate that especially in the first 6months of a babies life, life can be a little bit hectic what with all the crying, colic, cluster feeding, sleepless nights, teething etc.

DeleteOrDecay · 05/05/2017 12:07

MN is full of threads with posters telling the OP she doesn't have to cook. That she's got enough on her plate looking after a baby without pandering to her H. That he should be cooking the evening meal and not her.

So? Maybe that's because the op's in those threads do actually have a lot on their plate.

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 12:09

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NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 12:11

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UppityHumpty · 05/05/2017 12:18

The point isn't that the OP was too stressed with a baby to cook. The point is she makes an effort to cook for her own mum but doesn't bother with the inlaws.

I'd be pissed off with that too tbh.

BarbarianMum · 05/05/2017 12:27
DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 13:06

I don't get this attitude of you cook for your parents and I'll cook for mine. You are all family now, I don't really get on with my partners mum and we don't see her often but if I was the one at home available to cook then yh Id make the effort that I would make if it was my mum, I'd be pretty annoyed if it was my partner cooking for my inlaws and he couldn't be fucked. You clearly don't have any respect for them but will run around to your mums last minute if she asks. I'm sure you would of had time to prepare and while the washing was in the machine you could have made two meals in that time. Your excuses are just that. If you don't want to make them a decent meal then own that or don't have them round.

53rdWay · 05/05/2017 13:13

You clearly don't have any respect for them

Because she cooked them a simple meal rather than something complicated? Fucks sake. It's pasta, not an insult to their family unto the third generation.

niangua · 05/05/2017 13:13

I'm a pretty good cook - erm, and no, pasta with some pesto on it isn't what I'd serve up, sorry - but for guests? Yeah, pasta and some pesto and a bit of dry chicken is not really on.

THAT SAID, they're his guests, he can cook for them. I don't cook for my husband's family.

"Five month olds eat pesto pasta these days ?!"

Kids don't have to eat puree from jars anymore, who knew.

MatadorBowerBird · 05/05/2017 13:25

Don't get the hysteria about pasta with pesto either, it was on the (grown-ups) menu at a restaurant we ate at in Venice the other week. I didn't see any locals moaning about it.

53rdWay · 05/05/2017 13:27

I cooked pasta with pesto and green veg when my MIL was round the other week. God only knows how she's still speaking to me - woman must be a saint! Hmm

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 05/05/2017 13:40

Stop playing games. Instead of passive aggressively making a simple meal to make a point, tell him to get off his arse and help you out with the baby and around the house.

Westray · 05/05/2017 13:59

I don't get this attitude of you cook for your parents and I'll cook for mine.

Who does that?

If we are entertaining it will be on a day that OH isn't working. He will cook, whether it's for his family or my family.

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 14:02

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clandestino · 05/05/2017 14:08

I moved house on my OWN two days before I gave birth, I moved again on my own with an 8 week old, I worked and came home and cooked and cleaned after work.

Wow, you are the real hero. Here a Gold Martyr Biscuit Medal for you. Being the one who manages everything, how about you give some cooking classes for the women with bad time management and propensity to be tired while taking care of their child. "The perfect meal for your PILs or How to cook a five course meal with a five months old baby latched on to your boob while cleaning the bathroom, dusting the furniture and feeding organic chicken you will later kill and cook to a perfect tenderness and serve with home-made couscous and fresh veggies from your garden."

BarbarianMum · 05/05/2017 14:14

I moved house on my OWN two days before I gave birth, I moved again on my own with an 8 week old, I worked and came home and cooked and cleaned after work.

And yet you still totally lack empathy and imagination. Strange that, what with your magnificent skills in other areas. Hmm

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 14:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Furchesterbaby · 05/05/2017 14:16

Clandestino what are you talking about? Have you actually read my posts? Why don't you rtft.

We don't know loads about the ops husband but given that he texts her everyday asking what's for tea, and tells her to be more imaginative because they eat pasta all the time. It's doesn't make him sound like the most supportive partner.

I really don't think the 5 month old baby aspect should be dismissed, I'm pretty sure when mine was that small the only think dh asked was how the day had been with the baby and whether I'd like him to nip to the shops.

Clandestino · 05/05/2017 14:17

Don't get the hysteria about pasta with pesto either, it was on the (grown-ups) menu at a restaurant we ate at in Venice the other week. I didn't see any locals moaning about it.

But that was Italy. What do they know about good and tasty cooking? You should have told them that in Britain pasta and pesto is served to 4 months old babies as it is so bland it doesn't deserve to be served to adults.

Furchesterbaby · 05/05/2017 14:18

Navyandwhite that post was in reply to YOU who said you moved house on your own with two little ones! I replied that I'd also moved alone with babies, but that that had nothing whatsoever to do with op and her dh.

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 14:19

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Clandestino · 05/05/2017 14:19

Clandestino what are you talking about? Have you actually read my posts? Why don't you rtft.

Furchester, if you read my post properly you'd realise I was actually fully agreeing with your point.

Furchesterbaby · 05/05/2017 14:21

Oh I do apologise, I obviously need to read more carefully Confused

bigbuttons · 05/05/2017 18:31

oh come on, the op hasn't been back since the first post. Says a lot.