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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my other halfs an a-hole!

185 replies

meg180611 · 05/05/2017 00:08

We had the in laws for dinner tonight, so obviously I had to tidy and clean all the rooms they would see...also make the dinner for 5, which isn't the norm for me so a bit of a task. As well as take care of/feed/change and entertain our 5 month old daughter. Oh and do washings/hang out/bring in/fold put away. Also visit my mother with said child who was complaining she hadn't seen her since Sunday. (Sigh)

SO I thought, easiest thing to make? Pasta! Let OH know this when he txt asking the usual what's for dinner, his response... "can you not be a bit more imaginative? We have pasta all the time" I let it go and explained it's easy for me with the baby to just shove a pot of pasta on..

So I made a bit of an effort and put chicken in the pasta, and do you know what the first word he said to me before he even said hello? "Chickens a bit over cooked" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AIBU to continue to not speak to him until I get an apology? I know it sound pathetic but when you try and please and it gets shot down so harshly, really makes you resent them. It's even more annoying that he doesn't even think he's being sh*tty to me.

This is just an example of how most things he says/does since the baby infuriate me, do I just suck it up?

OP posts:
hesterton · 05/05/2017 06:17

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notanurse2017 · 05/05/2017 06:20

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Nanna50 · 05/05/2017 06:36

I think pasta, pesto and a few veggies is making absolutely no effort for any dinner guest even with a bit of chicken chucked in as an afterthought . I think you tried to do much in one day and between you it could have been planned better. Making sure the rooms were tidy before the day, doing laundry a different day, discussing the meal and also saying to your mother sorry not today as I have the in-laws coming.

I don't know if your OH is an a-hole as we only have your perspective.

pictish · 05/05/2017 06:38

'Eat what you're given' - how kind. Pasta and pesto is what I sometimes give my kids on a Wednesday as they all have to be out for clubs by six o'clock. It's fast and easy. I think it's very tasty personally, but not what I'd serve up to guests. It's a 'that'll do' meal here, not a 'come to dinner' one. As such I think it was a bit lame. Sorry.

hesterton · 05/05/2017 06:41

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NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 06:42

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pictish · 05/05/2017 06:43

To be fair though...I can cook and I am used to cooking for five, having three kids here. I also quite enjoy cooking, if not the deciding and the shopping or the cleaning up. Some people aren't great in the kitchen as it's not their forte, which is perfectly ok.

pictish · 05/05/2017 06:44

It's nothing to do with teleporting back to the thirties. OP knew they were coming and was there to cook...her dh wasn't.

Bananamanfan · 05/05/2017 06:47

Get a takeaway next time, op. Don't understand the shock about pasta & pesto from pps, it's not your job to play hostess & run around after everyone. They can come over, take you as you are & get what they're given for dinner.

bigbuttons · 05/05/2017 06:47

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Westray · 05/05/2017 06:47

so obviously I had to tidy and clean all the rooms they would see...also make the dinner for 5,

That's your mistake OP.

If your in laws are coming for dinner then do a little light dusting and sip wine. It's up to your OH to cook for his parents.

In fact I would be out the house until 10 minutes before they arrive.

Kokusai · 05/05/2017 06:50

Pasta and pesto is what people serve to children OP...bland and not great. I wouldn't make it for 5 adults coming to mine for a meal

OMG how snobby can you get.

Personally I think nice pasta with decent pesto, roast veggies and a good twist of black pepper is a very suitable dinner to feed to friends or family.

Westray · 05/05/2017 06:50

. OP knew they were coming and was there to cook...her dh wasn't.

Then the OH should have made sure his parents were invited at a time more suitable to him so he was able to cook a meal for his parents.

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 06:50

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Blimey01 · 05/05/2017 06:52

Yanbu! My in-laws stayed for dinner yesterday. I was at work, forgot to stop at shop on way home and we all ended up having turkey zoo animals, smilie faces and some veg. It was the best I could do at the time and no moans from anyone.
Love the way some posters are criticizing over serving pesto pasta rather than addressing the fact your dh sounds like a caveman Confused
I love pesto Pasto btw and so do my inlaws....

pictish · 05/05/2017 06:54

Put it this way - if we were having my relatives round for a meal and dh was home to cook, I'd be disappointed in him if he served up a plate of mid-week kiddy-fayre.

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 06:54

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pictish · 05/05/2017 06:55

"Then the OH should have made sure his parents were invited at a time more suitable to him so he was able to cook a meal for his parents."

Yes in the mumsnet world of fantasy that's what would happen.

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 06:55

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NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 06:56

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CPtart · 05/05/2017 06:58

Sunday to Thursday is four days. No time at all. Couldn't your DM wait until weekend? She sounds as demanding as your DH.

Westray · 05/05/2017 07:00

Yes in the mumsnet world of fantasy that's what would happen.

?? Am I missing something?

Westray · 05/05/2017 07:03

Oh yes it was only the shitty inlaws. The husband should have cooked. Not sure how when he's at work but hey. hmm

Presumable the OH doesn't work 7 days a week.

pictish · 05/05/2017 07:11

Well then maybe the in laws can only come for dinner when dh is there to cook. Seems petty AF but if that's how people do things, fair enough. My in laws can come mid-week if they like because I like them and don't grudge making them a meal.

Crunchymum · 05/05/2017 07:13

Why such pressure to impress the inlaws?

When mine come over they get handed the baby and served a take-away Grin

Seriously though I appreciate when you have guests you want to have a little tidy, make some food etc but most guests won't judge if you have some washing hanging up or haven't made a 3 course meal.