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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not make his sandwiches?

482 replies

DeleteOrDecay · 04/05/2017 18:40

Dp has been feeling rubbish at work lately. It's because instead of taking some proper food in he takes a couple of breakfast bars to see him through his shift but he is on his feet a lot so this obviously isn't substantial enough.

I suggested he should maybe make himself a sandwich or something to take with him. His response was that he can't be botheredHmm it takes five minutes to knock up a wrap or sandwich. He asked me if I could make them for him but I refused on the basis that he is more than capable of making his own sandwich for work and that I have enough on my plate with 2 young dc, the majority of the housework and cooking and my own myriad of MH issues.

I am a sahm, but I don't see why I should be expected to make him sandwiches when he has ample time either before or after work to make one himself. I'm his partner, not his mother. Aibu?

OP posts:
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LadyintheRadiator · 04/05/2017 19:08

This reply has been deleted

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PickAChew · 04/05/2017 19:09

Yes,it takes 5 minutes that he can't be arsed with.

stitchglitched · 04/05/2017 19:09

So OP has health issues and is running around after 2 pre schoolers. Meanwhile her husband gets up at 11am and sits around doing nothing until it's time to go to work. But purely based on the fact that his work pays OP should be making him his sandwiches too? Fuck that.

TowerRavenSeven · 04/05/2017 19:09

Yanbu because he can't be arsed. Reminds me of dh when we first got married, he Loved 100% cotton shirts and I said Wait before you buy those who is going to iron those? Because I'm not!
He put the shirts back. Couldn't be arsed to do it. I haven't ironed a shirt for him in 17 years of marriage.

LadyintheRadiator · 04/05/2017 19:09

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honeysucklejasmine · 04/05/2017 19:10

She does have paid employment Just, she's not sat on her arse all day.

A lot of 1950s GFs on this thread. If you loved him you'd do it

FFS.

outabout · 04/05/2017 19:11

You are both being a bit pathetic. It's a sandwich FFS!
I used to get up 'early' and make porridge for myself and DD and ask DW if she wanted some too, often 'yes, to a different recipe'!
Is this a real thread?

Etymology23 · 04/05/2017 19:11

This is absurd! Of course he can make his own sandwich. I've made my own packed lunch since I was seven...

Not working outside the home doesn't prevent other household members from contributing. It's not like he's got an incredibly rushed start or something - could he make it at night instead? I make up sandwiches with frozen bread - then the butter is easier to spread, the whole thing is quicker and they defrost by lunchtime.

Somerville · 04/05/2017 19:11

I wouldn't make my DH a sandwich under the circumstances you describe, no, OP.

Whatever you make might just get chucked in the bin, since he's not bothered enough to make one himself.

The only way I'd make my DH a packed lunch is if he was already used to making one for himself (so I knew it would be eaten) and he was really struggling for time for a legitimate reason. In which case, if I had more time, then sure.

JustAKitten · 04/05/2017 19:12

If you're the one who stays home I'd say you do the domestic stuff.

LadyintheRadiator · 04/05/2017 19:12

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MongerTruffle · 04/05/2017 19:13

He works. She does not work.

On average, stay at home parents have 95 hour work weeks.

To not make his sandwiches?
honeysucklejasmine · 04/05/2017 19:13

Have we had an influx of MRAs or something?

JustAKitten · 04/05/2017 19:14

Half of those things are just general looking after yourself tasks that working people do too.

And I'm not a 1959s girlfriend. I'm very anti sexism. I'm just not anti men and anti being nice to the person you love.

Bluntness100 · 04/05/2017 19:14

Ffs, I can't believe people said she should make his sandwiches. The man isn't making them because "he can't be bothered", not because he is busy, not because he has health issues, he just can't be arsed. No way should she then step in and add it to her load. He's a grown man.

"Make the man a sandwich" indeed. Seriously. Ffs.

neonrainbow · 04/05/2017 19:15

Wowee the housewives are out in force on the first page!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 04/05/2017 19:16

Even my 10 yr old makes his own packed lunch!

DrWhooves · 04/05/2017 19:16

YANBU. I'm a SAHM, currently retraining to get back to work, and I do the vast majority of the housework, shopping and cooking. I do not make DHs packed lunches, he knows fine where the bread/ham/cheese/etc is and he is perfectly capable of doing it himself, usually the night before so it just needs taking out of the fridge in the morning.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 04/05/2017 19:16

You're a SAHM but you're not HIS mother. He can make a sandwich. If you were making sandwiches for you and DC and he asked you to make one for him, and you didn't, that would be unkind, but that's not the situation here, or at least from what I gather it's not. The situation is he is leaving for work and won't do himself a packed lunch for his shift, which is just so lazy. If he really really can't be arsed then tell him to buy sandwich filler and slap it in a tortilla wrap...that takes less time than unwrapping a cereal bar FFS!

LadyintheRadiator · 04/05/2017 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stitchglitched · 04/05/2017 19:17

OP already does most of the domestic stuff, with 2 young kids including a toddler to look after. And health issues. There is absolutely no reason that her husband cannot make his own lunch, he has plenty of time. He choses instead to stay in bed til late and sit around doing nothing until work. The only reason to argue that it is OP's job is to want to be 'controversial' or goady for some reason. It is really fucking tedious.

Bluntness100 · 04/05/2017 19:17

And I'm not a 1959s girlfriend

More like 1940s it's not anti men to expect a full grown adult to take care of making his own lunch and not to wish to do it for him becayse he can't be arsed. That's not pro men or being nice to the person uou love that's being a total doormat.

PeaFaceMcgee · 04/05/2017 19:17

Jaysus. Some of the idiotic replies here!

Yanbu. You shouldn't make them for him because he can't be bothered. He's a grown ass man.

JustAKitten · 04/05/2017 19:18

Lady so if it's a small thing, why can't she do it? When did making your partner lunch become such a big deal?

DP asked me to bake him something specific the other day. I did it because I genuinely enjoy making him happy. Ooooh aren't I a little wifeBot6000.

stitchglitched · 04/05/2017 19:18

'I'm not anti men or anti being nice to people you love'

Surely that goes for the OP's husband too then? If he loves her why would he want to add to her workload because he can't be arsed?

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