To not make his sandwiches?

[DeleteOrDecay]

Dp has been feeling rubbish at work lately. It's because instead of taking some proper food in he takes a couple of breakfast bars to see him through his shift but he is on his feet a lot so this obviously isn't substantial enough.

I suggested he should maybe make himself a sandwich or something to take with him. His response was that he can't be bothered it takes five minutes to knock up a wrap or sandwich. He asked me if I could make them for him but I refused on the basis that he is more than capable of making his own sandwich for work and that I have enough on my plate with 2 young dc, the majority of the housework and cooking and my own myriad of MH issues.

I am a sahm, but I don't see why I should be expected to make him sandwiches when he has ample time either before or after work to make one himself. I'm his partner, not his mother. Aibu?

'I do wonder how people get on in this world!'

Exactly! What do adults do when they don't have someone to wipe their arse, make their food, do all the admin in life?! How do they cope?

So OP has health issues and is running around after 2 pre schoolers. Meanwhile her husband gets up at 11am and sits around doing nothing until it's time to go to work. But purely based on the fact that his work pays OP should be making him his sandwiches too? Fuck that.

This with bells on.

I have skim- read the thread. OP, only you know how your DH treats you and whether he would go out of his way to help you. If he is a decent husband, then yes, I think you should make his sandwiches. It's very depressing making your own sandwiches because you know exactly what you'll be having every day and then you can't be bothered to eat. He is asking you to do this for him, so he can look forward to lunch. It only takes a few minutes. Even give him some left over pasta, soup or couscous some days or whatever.

People find making their own sandwiches 'depressing'? Gosh, how on earth do single people cope?

I appreciate you didn't mean to but as someone who actually suffers with depression I find such blasé use of the word slightly offensive. Making your own sandwiches isn't depressing, it's just a normal, mundane part of every day life for many.

It's very depressing making your own sandwiches because you know exactly what you'll be having every day and then you can't be bothered to eat. He is asking you to do this for him, so he can look forward to lunch.

Bless him. Such a delicate flower.

Loads of people make their own lunch for work. Most of my colleagues in my last job did; I don't think they were permanently wilting under the cloud of it.

I rather like looking forward to the lunch I made/am going to make.

it's very depressing making your own sandwiches

That's possibly the most melodramatic piece of crap I've read all week!

You know what I mean - if you've spent ages making dinner or something, you actually can't be bothered to eat it sometimes.

Yes, I sometimes feel like that after making a large roast dinner, but not after spending a minute making a ham butty .

If you're taking ages to make a simple sandwich I think you need to look at your sandwich making technique.

I still make my 13 yr olds packed lunch. He's perfectly capable of it himself, but I do mine at the same time so it's not a big deal. My eldest does her own & dh buys lunch as he cba to make a sarnie, so he doesn't. As it wouldn't take more than 5 mins, if you are that bothered, make it for your dh but if not then
Leave him to crappy cereal bars!

OP only you know your DH, so if you're not prepared to do this then just don't.
If he only works down the road, can't he just come home? Or just order a pizza?

No apology for the flippant use of a mental health illness to describe sandwich making then?

He only gets 10minute breaks and it takes him that long to cycle home, longer if walking.

Pizza is a bit expensive and extravagant for a work lunch

Anyway he's got pasties for this coming week. You would know this if you'd read my updates.

My apologies if I offended you OP, but when someone says something is a bit depressing,they're hardly making a reference to clinical depression I've had PND myself. Anyway, my apologies, as I said.

*It's very depressing making your own sandwiches
*
Literally can't stop laughing at this 😂😂😂

"The flippant use of a mental health illness to describe sandwich making"

"You would know this is you'd read my updates"

Yes posters. I hope you are all taking copious notes and not taking the piss at all. Sandwiches are a serious matter.

You don't need to take notes. Just stop asking the same tedious questions that have already been answered. HTH

slightly offensive. Making your own sandwiches isn't depressing
That is just a colloquial use, and such a use should not be offensive.

A huge number of people are depressed, but I don't think the word 'depressing' should be taboo when used for anything other than actual mental illness.

I am sorry for the fact you have been suffering from depression however

In the position of SAHM I did this sort of thing for my husband. It was not a big deal.

So he goes out to work all day to put the food on the table for his family , and you knowing he is not having anything proper to eat at work, on principal won't help him, you really need to think about this.

I ♥️ this thread, to think that I though I was shit at reading threads properly! 😂

you knowing he is not having anything proper to eat at work, on principal won't help him

For crying out loud. This might make sense if he was helpless. Or frantically busy before work. But he isn't. He is CHOOSING not to have anything proper to eat at work. If he decides to stop wiping his own arse, should OP do that for him as well just because he goes out to work?

I ♥️ this thread, to think that I though I was shit at reading threads properly! 😂

I must admit I am quite enjoying reading the posts from people who clearly haven't read the thread and are telling me I should make his sandwiches because you know, he works therefore he is incapable of basic self care. Only on mumsnet

No, she should do it just because he has a penis. It's thus her responsibility to step in and do anything he decides he can't be faffed with, however busy she might be looking after their small children.

Well I know how you feel in a sense OP because my DH travels a lot and moans about plane / airport food and jet lag, so this kind of makes me feel like I have to make more of an effort with cooking when he is home. It's subtle guilt-tripping in a way. Anyway, I got the message long ago that home cooked / prepared food is important to him - for whatever reason, rightly or wrongly. Some men are like this. I benefit hugely from him in many ways so if this is what it takes to make him feel more valued or loved then I'm not going to stress over it. I'm a SAHM too, but I do remember it was much harder when the kids were little. Just do what you feel up to and don't stress.