To not make his sandwiches?

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Dp has been feeling rubbish at work lately. It's because instead of taking some proper food in he takes a couple of breakfast bars to see him through his shift but he is on his feet a lot so this obviously isn't substantial enough.

I suggested he should maybe make himself a sandwich or something to take with him. His response was that he can't be bothered it takes five minutes to knock up a wrap or sandwich. He asked me if I could make them for him but I refused on the basis that he is more than capable of making his own sandwich for work and that I have enough on my plate with 2 young dc, the majority of the housework and cooking and my own myriad of MH issues.

I am a sahm, but I don't see why I should be expected to make him sandwiches when he has ample time either before or after work to make one himself. I'm his partner, not his mother. Aibu?

He's the one feeling weak from not eating properly, he should be taking responsibility for his own well being. That means taking a suitable lunch whether it be a sandwich, slice of pizza, pasty, pasta salad etc. etc. That said I find sandwiches quite tedious.

As you've said putting pasties etc on the shopping list is a good way to help. Personally we try to plan food to take into work and work it alongside our main meals sometimes as basic as leaving a slice of pizza to take in, or maybe cooking extra potatoes to make up a potato salad to have with left over meat or ready cooked sausages etc. If you plan ahead then whoever cooks (vaguely assuming he might do some of the cooking) can prepare a main meal and a lunch for each of you for the following day.

Glad it's resolved op. Pasties to the rescue. Thanks for the update, nice to see it worked out.

No problem

And for those who think I'm some sort of witch who doesn't love her dp enough to make him a sandwich: he finishes work early today, so im packing the dc up in the car at bedtime to pick him up. He doesn't know nor is he expecting it. It will be a nice surprise for him. Shocking I know

This

No problem*

And for those who think I'm some sort of witch who doesn't love her dp enough to make him a sandwich: he finishes work early today, so im packing the dc up in the car at bedtime to pick him up. He doesn't know nor is he expecting it. It will be a nice surprise for him. Shocking I know*

'very interested in this as my DH also insisted I made him sandwiches, eventually after about 10 years of it I said fuck off and do your own. I was never a SAHM I was and still am a WFHM - I work from home. As a result, I was expected to do everything including childcare from the time my second DD was born and we had to take them out of childminders due to cost.

DDs are now teenagers and is now semi retired, works 2 days a week - he still makes a huge fuss about his sandwiches; he'll only make them if he has his "special" (expensive) ingredients and if he can't be arsed to make them he says "I have no choice but to get lunch from Waitrose tomorrow" - did that today and spent £7 on lunch. '

What a fine example he is for your daughters. No idea why you are still doing FA for a person like this.

I make my husband's sarnies because otherwise he would buy and I don't want him spending the money. He can't be arsed to make it himself. This def doesn't make it right of course that I have to do it but I do it

My DH makes my lunch everyday... if it's a faff he could make a batch, freeze them and then take one out each day.

You know, I'd have made the sandwich until the 'I can't be bothered' stuff. He can't be bothered because it's not worth his time, it's beneath him. Yet, it's worth your time and not beneath you? Is your time worth less? Are you inferior to him? I don't think so.

I make my Hubby sandwhiches. I'm not his mother (thankfully) but if I'm making breakfast and lunch for the kiddos, I sure can do two more sandwhiches. It makes no difference to me.

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable. He's an adult and can make them for himself.

Sandwich..

YANBU. He's got one person to look after, you've got 3. I wouldn't make my husband lunch either.

I think it's an absolute disgrace that you aren't contributing towards the house and yet you begrudge making a few measly sandwiches!

Only joking, tell the lazy prick to make his own!

I make dh's sandwiches while I make dc's no biggie. He works all the hours god sends so I don't have to work

He's going out and earning the money...the least you could do is make him a sandwich!

If you start doing something for him that he could quite easily do for himself, his expectations will spill into other areas and you'll find yourself aquiring all manner of trivial tasks that each take up only five minutes but add up all those five minutes and pretty soon you won't have a minute to call your own. I speak from bitter experience! There's a lot of truth in that saying, start how you mean to go on. Stand your ground. Being a SAHM dies nit mean you are an indentured servant.

He's going out and earning the money...the least you could do is make him a sandwich!

Here we go again...

He's going out and earning the money...the least you could do is make him a sandwich!

Fuck there's some sexist misogynist thickos about 😂

I make dh's sandwiches while I make dc's no biggie. He works all the hours god sends so I don't have to work

Wow, he pays for a nanny and a cleaner so you dont have to work??

He's going out and earning the money...the least you could do is make him a sandwich!

Err no. My DH earns the money and I make his lunch but

1. It's not because he can't be arsed
2. He appreciates it and shows it
3. He does things for me I'd find a trial.

Anyway OP. Are you doing the sarnies in exchange for something being done for you?

Lol I don't think anyones heaping pressure, but I love my DH, and I have four kiddies and look after two more, and its my pleasure to make him a nice sarnie for lunch, because he does lovely little things for me, such as makes me a milky coffee every morning before he leaves for work, and makes me a hot water bottle every night, he does the dinner four nights a week on average, and it makes us both happy to do things for one another! This isn't to pile pressure on and say for you to do the same, does he ever do anything for you?? If not, sod him, and tell him to make his own, if he does, then what does it hurt?? As you said, takes five minutes if that! :-) x

I think its the little things that make life so much nicer! x

Btw God I feel sorry for some folk on here! You people sound bitter! lol.

I make our lunches for work every evening, he makes our breakfasts every morning.

Hey Carrie, did you miss where OP is ill, and her DH is only asking her to make his sandwiches because he 'can't be bothered'?

Lol!