To think this is abuse

[wordlemcfuddle]

Can't even believe I am writing this right now am so fucking angry.

I have just popped round to my mothers house. My nephew opens the door and says "look at my leg daddy did this" revealing massive bruise. I am obviously somewhat taken aback, my mum is telling him to shush. Nephew then starts telling me his dad came into his bedroom and inflicted the injury whilst he was asleep because he had been naughty (broken something).

I am horrified. This is not normal is it? I believe the school has picked up on it, but I don't know what has happened.

Mother won't speak to me about it because she has a difficult relationship with my sister and is terrified if she tells me then my sister will stop talking to her. No one can say anything to her or her husband because they are not normal people to converse with. They are angry and hate the world. I have long suspected he may be violent to my sister though she won't admit it. I did not think he would be violent towards the child.

I am really hoping the school acts on the information and reports it to social services. Having just discussed with my close friend who is a teacher though she advises me they may just log it and no further action.

So my question is if you are a teacher do you think they would get social services involved in this case?

I am hoping they do because I don't want to have to do it myself and the potential ramifications but it's just a horrible and terrifying situation to be in. I don't want my nephew taken away from them to strangers but equally I don't want him in the hands of an abuser.

Why not phone the nspcc for advice? I think they will refer if necessary.

Please don't keep quiet and hope the school a) notices and b) acts on it.

The father came upstairs and punched a sleeping child hard enough to cause a massive bruise? That's sick.

Bypass NSPCC and call the police and your local out of hours children's services right now. Speaking as a child protection social worker.

That's definitely abuse. I'm not familiar with how it would be treated by SS.

Your close friend needs child protection training by the way.

Oh nightmare OP

But you will have many people
Who were the victim of abuse saying they cannot actually fathom how so many adults knew it was going on - and Never reported

Listen to them please and have a think - your mother doesn't need to know it came from you . Listen to your instincts here

Why your mother is choosing too protect your sister over her grandchild is beyond me. Contact the police or social services with your concerns.

A school have duty to report this kind of thing. They would not just log it and forget about it they would let social services know. Of course it is abuse. Areu sure the school know? If i were you op i would also let someone know for your nephew's sake either the school or social services or as pp says speak to nspcc. I understand that must be hard for you to do but you have to safeguard your nephew.

I wouldn't ring the NSPCC, they are an unindependant busy-body organisation. Ring the police non-emergency number and seek advice.

I also agree your friend is so wrong and if she works in a school that is a huge concern. She should have been regularly trained on child protection.

I would also report it - you don't know for certain that the mum has told school.

How old is he?

School should definitely refer to SS.

Sounds very grim. Support the lad.

You could call ss yourselves? Given the nature of the parents, the injury and from what the child said, I'd take it very seriously. The child was attacked by an adult while he was asleep! Can you imagine how terrifying and distressing that would be for any of us? Even worse for a child who is smaller and can't escape. All he has is the adults around him to intervene on his behalf.

Poke your nose in and get social services in there.

The school should refer it in but you can't guarantee that they will do so. If you have seen the bruise and have heard your nephew's account first-hand, then you really do need to make a referral yourself. Your nephew may or may not tell someone else. He has told you. PLease call the NSPCC or Google social services where your nephew lives.

That child has chosen to talk to you about it.

If you don't act and nothing happens, if that child is hurt again he likely won't tell anyone about it because nothing happened first time.

Please please please report.

Just fucking report it for fuck sake. I'm aghast that you are thinking about leaving it to school. You're a witness for one thing! Call the police now and report it. It's a physical assault and that child needs protecting by some adult in his life, poor kid. Be that adult for him, please

I think in your shoes I'd speak to school and flag it with them and make sure they report it. I have no child protection training, so prepared to be put right if I'm wrong, but I understand your fears over family relationships. Of course the boy has to come above all that, but it's natural to be apprehensive of the backlash.
Where's he staying tonight? Is he safe?

There are lots of issues here, but really, the only really important one is that this is reported. Your nephew is speaking up. He shouldn't be at the mercy of someone who could look at a sleeping child then hit him hard enough to cause a massive bruise. That is terrifying and his father is a dangerous man.

Report it, OP. You are right to be furious. Nothing else is important.

I mean speak to school first thing tomorrow, obviously. Not just when you get round to it. And assuming he's safe now.

Please please report this. This is way beyond the usual posts I see here where it could be subjective. To have hit a child hard enough to bruise them is abuse, this isn't a subjective situation, there is no way this is anything other than abuse. Someone who is able to hit a sleeping child is a danger to them. People can die from one punch to the head, next time this child might not get off as lightly as they have this time and no one wants that on their conscious when they could have intervened.

I feel so sad reading this. That poor child :(

Poor child. Call the police. How terrifying for him. No child should have to live like that and your DM should be ashamed of herself for trying to cover it up.
Your nephew has trusted you and you need to be the one adult in his life who's looking after his best interests because it appears his parents and grandparents wont.
It'll happen again, or worse, if you don't do anything.

Social worker here. You really need to report this. This WILL be acted upon

Report it while your nephew is chatting about it loudly. He could have told anyone else (if you want to be anonymous).

Your Mum is in the wrong, but I sort of understand her stance - I only hope I'd be stronger in her shoes. My maternal grandparents caused a fuss with my parents and as a result my parents cut them off. My paternal grandparents did a lot of tongue biting, made a lot of notes of times and dates and then they were still in our lives and able to intervene when things went badly. So your Mum might be not-stirring the pot for the right reasons. It probably be better for someone else to report it if that's possible so that she doesn't lose access to your nephew.

You have to report it.

My nephew once made some dodgy disclosures about things his dad did and I rang Social Services the next day and it didn't even cross my mind not to. Children need protecting, you can't simply ignore this and hope someone else does something.

Report it now.

You need to report this tomorrow. For a child with a bruise, and who has made a disclosure that his father did this as a part of discipline, it should prompt immediate SW intervention. More than likely a strategy meeting with the police, education and health.
The boy will then be spoken to, without the knowledge or consent of parents.

Based on the facts you have written here, that's what would happen if your referral came in to our MASH.