To think this is abuse

[wordlemcfuddle]

Can't even believe I am writing this right now am so fucking angry.

I have just popped round to my mothers house. My nephew opens the door and says "look at my leg daddy did this" revealing massive bruise. I am obviously somewhat taken aback, my mum is telling him to shush. Nephew then starts telling me his dad came into his bedroom and inflicted the injury whilst he was asleep because he had been naughty (broken something).

I am horrified. This is not normal is it? I believe the school has picked up on it, but I don't know what has happened.

Mother won't speak to me about it because she has a difficult relationship with my sister and is terrified if she tells me then my sister will stop talking to her. No one can say anything to her or her husband because they are not normal people to converse with. They are angry and hate the world. I have long suspected he may be violent to my sister though she won't admit it. I did not think he would be violent towards the child.

I am really hoping the school acts on the information and reports it to social services. Having just discussed with my close friend who is a teacher though she advises me they may just log it and no further action.

So my question is if you are a teacher do you think they would get social services involved in this case?

I am hoping they do because I don't want to have to do it myself and the potential ramifications but it's just a horrible and terrifying situation to be in. I don't want my nephew taken away from them to strangers but equally I don't want him in the hands of an abuser.

please report it.

www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/15261935._Not_contacting_authorities_over_Harry_s_injuries_is_my_biggest_regret___grandmother_tells_court/

this is our local news, if someoje had thought to report it he may still be alive

This is physical abuse, a mark has been left. Social care will investigate if they are notified of this. You can do this by contacting children's social care in the area the child lives in. You could also choose to contact the NSPCC, they would not investigate themselves but would make a referral to children's social care. You do not need to give your details when you contact either agency, although this does not mean that your family won't work out where the referral has come from. School would also report if they were aware but the information is more likely to get confused the more people it is passed through.

also i was abused as a child, i used to wish everynight before bed someone would come save me

Apologies, now. Report it now to it of hours. Not tomorrow.

FGS! Call the police and get social services involved immediately!

Argh. Report now to your Out of Hours emergency children's services number.

Ring the police. So what if your sister never speaks to your mother again. If your mother is more concerned about that than the welfare of her grandchild she is not much better than your sister.

That child could be dead soon.

@lalalalyra yes those are my mums reasons so that she knows what is going on and isn't cut off but it is driving me mad that I don't have all the facts.

Nephew is showing it off like a trophy in an odd way seems quite proud, not upset. I tried to get more info out of him but did not really get anything further.

In my friend's defence her full explanation was the child protection officer would speak to parents and make a decision on whether to log or refer to social services. She said that if it was the first incident it would likely just be logged. I don't know what to think to be honest I was hoping it would be straight to SS. But as I don't know anything for sure I actually don't know!

Hit a child, hard, whilst asleep? I can't get my head around it. I'd sacrifice my relationship with a sibling for the child. Every single time.

Are you in the UK? If so this needs to go to social care. A school does not have the option of not reporting a clear deliberately made mark. Are you sure they are aware of what happened?

OP l am not an expert of any kind but you have to report this asap..... this is abuse...of an innocent child. This man is a monster.

Would report to Police, it's assault and they can refer to Social Care. Please protect him, he needs you to speak up. Poor child

I am hoping they do because I don't want to have to do it myself

WTF? do it yourself. Now. this minute.

Hitting a child whilst they're asleep would indicate that the dad may have been drunk or on drugs. May also be a pattern of behaviour where the dad uses the child as a punching bag.

If the child is showing it off and glorifying it then that would indicate that violence has been normalised around it.

Alarm bells are ringing that social services need to get involved as a matter of urgency.

His parents are not going to protect him. His grandmother is not going to protect him. Don't let his auntie let him down as well.

This will not just be logged. U MUST do something. Safeguarding is everyone's business. Please do it ask him any more questions as it's likeky that there will be investigation with police.

Can people stop having a fucking go at me, telling me to report it now and guilt tripping me isn't helping. My question was to teachers and in their experience what would happen with SS.

I have only just found this out an hour ago I am
Incredibly upset and will deal with it.

Telling me to fucking report it now and guilt tripping is not what I asked. I know he is safe right now i need to try and gain more information and I was obviously hoping the school would've reported so that I don't have to but will if they haven't. You try coming face to face with the prospect of your family being ripped apart and see how you feel.

Thanks to the helpful comments.

Please tell SS and protect your nephew.

Sorry op cross posted!

wordlemcfuddle, I know it's your family and it's incredibly difficult, but get off the internet, get your mobile or the house phone and call the police!!

Phone social services. I know you don't want to, but it's not about you. It's about an innocent child being physically abused.

His school might not know. Even if they've seen the bruise, a bruise on a child's leg won't necessarily raise red flags to his teachers because they don't know what caused it.

A child disclosed abuse to you. Report it. Now.

Not doing that OP honestly. You're in shock. You can't think straight yet, all family complications to process in with it as well. It's a shit situation and your nephew has thrown you the hot potato, so to speak. He's done that for a reason. I was hit as a child and have a permanent facial scar to prove it. I never spoke up. X

@wordlemcfuddle Do you know if your nephew has been hurt before? If it is a first incident then your friend may be right, but the problem with that thinking is is that if no-one ever logs a first incident then no-one can log a second incident...

It is tricky sometimes. In an ideal word it'd be reported, it'd be dealt with properly and the child would be safe, protected and grow up happy, but it doesn't always work like that. I absolutely shudder if I ever think about what could have happened if my Nana & Grandad hadn't stayed close to us. If they'd been cut out like my maternal grandparents then one of us would have been killed, or one of my elder brothers would have ended up in prison when they snapped back, I'm sure of it.

Write down exactly what your nephew said to you while it is fresh in your mind. Try not to push him with questions in case you are accused of putting words in his mouth, and write down exactly what you said and what he said even if it was nothing really relevant.

If you want to be sure it's reported then you could report it to his school or NSPCC anonymously and then leave it in their hands.

Do you think your Mum has a limit where she would get involved? Will there be a time where she'll pick her grandchild over her child? If not, and this might not be a popular suggestion, but do you spend a lot of time with your nephew? Could you spend more time with him? The closer you are to the situation the more you'll see...

The other thing is - could what would happen to him if SS get involved be holding your Mum back? If SS take him at a later date would your Mum be likely to be allowed him? Is she young enough and fit enough to look after him full time? Does she have space and finances? Do you? Obviously this is worst case scenario, but that is question my GP's had to face when my father went too far one day (and social services verison of too far is sometimes sadly much further over the line than most of us would see as acceptable).

I can understand the OP being worried about the nephew and being worried about the outcomes if she reports it. There is always the worry of it not being proved and of the child being taken away never to be seen again. There should be something that would help the child without putting the OP and reporter at any risk.

Jesus. Call the police. Now.

That is a child. He needs protection.